g Page 5751 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Contest Results Are In
It's something the sight of which caused Mrs. Costanza to stumble and throw out her back, and truthfully, if she had seen this, it would have killed her. The 2006 Masturbate-a-thon is now in the record books, as approximately 50 participants — mostly men, and not including Mike Cooper — "dragged t...

Set Tasers To, Uh, Taze? Tase?
Off the Baggie brings up something we've been noticing as well: It sure does seem like lots of athletes are getting tasered lately....

You Got Neil Rackers, Yo
All right, so we know this isn't real, and we know it's just an NFL promotional video (for a product we don't use; we prefer Yahoo for our all fantasy games, to be honest with you), but we still could not resist....

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. Baseball with Joe Morgan: I've bet 50 smackers that you won't be late for this chat. Don't let me down, Joe. Come on Joe, baby needs a new pair of cleats! • 2 p.m. Boxer Oleg Maskaev: If the USSR had been disolved earlier, woul...

At This Point, They Should Probably Just Have A Lockup Near Camp
What more can we tell you: Another Bengal got arrested. This time it was Bootsy Collins favoite left guard Eric Steinbach, who was arrested for operating a boat under the influence on Saturday night. He was, in fact, in the water at the time, though we admit it would be funnier if he weren't. He i...

The Closer: Liriano's Miner Setback
Notes from a day in baseball:...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while painting the lawn green ... • Howard's End: Ryan Howard hits 39th homer, gets 100th RBI to lead Phillies over Braves. • Tennis: David Nalbandian loses at Rogers Cup before we even learn how to pronounce his name. • World Series of Poker: Vegas baby, Vegas! Gold avoids being kic...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Madden's HOF induction speech enters its fifth hour ... • Basketball: Men's national team, USA vs. China, at Guangzhou, China. For those attending, here's how to get there. Find Hong Kong, then go north until you hit "a prosperous metropolis full of vigor." Oh, and also, here's who ...

Four Tiny Tidbits On: The Pacific-10 Conference
We must confess that we can't wait each year for the crunch of shoulder pads; for cleats churning up chunks of turf, and red-faced coaches screaming from the sidelines. But enough about lacrosse. College football season is upon us, and to celebrate, we're going to get back into tiny tidbit mode and ...

Blogdome: More International Hoops
• A preview of tonight's USA-China exhibition basketball game. [Golden State Of Mind] • Taking a look at those Green Bay Packers. [Kissing Suzy Kolber] • Man, heavyweight boxing really is getting worse. [Chicago Sports Wrap] Hey, an actual update in the Duke lacrosse case. [A Shot Of Southern Comfor...

Oxnard Must Be An Entertaining Camp
Few athletes give us more joy, in a "Jeez, look how far this idiot has fallen" type of way, than former Eagles dope Freddie Mitchell. Last time we checked in with him, he was considering offers from Jon Bon Jovi's team in the Arena League....

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. NCAA FB with Todd McShay: How does a person like yourself, who is only in the fifth grade, know so much about college football? • 4 p.m.. Sunday IRL winner: And our lucky winer is: Jimmie Johnson. Welcome, Jimmy. ... Jimmy? Did s...

Free Darko, Live On Scene, And Loving Jim Gray
Generally speaking, we think it's silly for online writers — who are the only ones free from the PR/press pass/everybody-play-nice circle jerk of commercialized athletics — to salivate over press passes as if they had, at last, been invited to the ball. But we will make an exception when the folks f...

And Just Like That, The NFL Returns
Hey, everybody, there was football yesterday!...

The Closer: Randy Newman Is Smiling
Notes from a day in baseball:...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while trying to make yourself cry at will ... • NFL: Raiders beat Eagles 16-10 in Hall of Fame Game. • PGA: OK, now Tiger Woods is just showing off. • Horse racing: Dear Bluegrass Cat — You are a horse. You cannot read. This cannot be read to you. But nice going, and thanks for not b...

Real Pro Football Back on NBC
The Eagles play the Raiders tonight, which may be of some interest to fans in Oakland, Philadelphia, and various penitentiaries throughout the nation. But, since preseason football is mostly boring, the debut of interest tonight is that of the NFL on NBC crew....

To Watch Tonight...
• MLB: Phillies @ Mets. I could gaze into Mr. Met's beautiful eyes for hours. 8:00, ESPN. • NFL: Raiders vs. Eagles. Whichever team has more fans arrested by halftime wins. 8:00, NBC. • Movie: Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigolo. Yeah, ball hair. What we need is a strike here. 8:00, FX....

Colonless Guy Scores 132 Points In Two Games
It's probably a little bit unfair to refer to DeJuan Wagner as an anonymous colonless guy, but he has been fairly anonymous over the past couple of years. He was once the next big thing, a scoring machine in high school, and the 6th-overall pick in the NBA draft. His game never translated that well ...

LeftoverDome...
• The Mets/Phillies game tonight will be liveblogged. [MiracleMets.Net] • Jason Giambi gets a little testy when they give him the infield shift. [BlogNYC] • The 50 greatest WWF rivalries [Rivalfish] • Checking back in with Finger Jousting [Fringe Sports Central] • I don't know that any "athlete over...