gators Page 16 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Teams Giving Refunds For Poor Play Could Bankrupt American Sports
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Don't You Dare Call His Tebowness A Student-Athlete
It's deliciously ironic when a flack greets reporters at a press conference and asks for questions for the so-called student-athletes, a descriptor about as accurate as calling Tim Tebow mortal. Hopefully, Tebow will soon rid the world of this nonsense....
Greatest Minor League Promotion Ever Ruined By Wrath Of Tebow
The Fort Myers Miracle planned to pay homage to that miracle-maker Tim Tebow tonight, but what happened instead? Try an approaching tornado, an aborted circumcision, and a cease-and-desist letter from UF. God does not take kindly to your mockery....
Cohort Of Talented Mr. Roto Allegedly Fornicates At Ben Hill Griffin Stadium
"I mean this literally. I snuck in to the stadium, with a girl, and fucked her on the goal line of the south end zone. Right below the goal posts, underneath the national championship signs." WWTTD? [IHopeTheyServeBeerInHell]...
What Mysterious (And Heroic) Injury Is Tim Tebow Hiding?
Tebow missed practice! TEBOW MISSED PRACTICE! Something about a stiff back, which shouldn't be a problem for a running quarterback with weak mechanics. But it doesn't matter because he's a walking M.A.S.H. unit that you cannot keep off the field....
Florida Is Number One, And It Isn't Close
The preseason AP College Football Poll has been released, and the Florida Gators are number one in the nation, by the widest margin in the poll's history....
Bookies Have A Good Feeling About This Florida Team
The Florida Gators are a 73-point favorite in their home opener against Charleston Southern. You will never see a gambler work harder to find a parlay. [Wiz of Odds]...
Tim Tebow And His Even Dirtier GQ Pictures
The Sideline Princess shoot was fine, but those aren’t even the naughtiest pictures of a Florida alum in GQ this month. The lurid full-page centerfold of a sweaty, shirtless Tim Tebow is positively filthy....and comes with drooling prose to match....
BREAKING: The Only Thing Not Perfect About Tim Tebow Is His Vision
The Tebow is nearsighted. He just got glasses before the ESPYs, but does not wear (or were) them during the football. No contacts, either. Yet, somehow he throws many, many touchdowns! HOW DOES HE DO IT? [Gainesville Sun]...
Steve Spurrier Apologizes For Not Genuflecting To The Tebow
SEC coaches and journalists spent maybe six hours of the conference's three-day media tugjob fretting over the vicious bastard who didn't pick Tim Tebow as No. 1 Super QB of the year. All because Steve Spurrier can't read....
One Mission Tim Tebow Won't Accomplish This Year
Thanks to Clay Travis' question, it's official: Tim Tebow is saving himself for marriage! That's splendid for Sports Illustrated, which will now recycle this cover for next week's issue. See? Even journalism is no match for Tim Tebow. [FanHouse]...
Have You Heard Of This Tebow Kid?
I know summers are slow for football columnists, but if Ivan Maisel is already dipping into the "Tebow as Glorious Leader" well in early July—apparently, he's a bit religious!—it's going to be a very long September. [ESPN]...
Florida Puts Bulletin Board Material On Actual Bulletin Board
What's the secret to winning back-to-back BCS Championships? Photocopying anything anyone ever says about you and putting it on a giant freakin' wall, obviously. Oh, and some magic markers would help....
Florida Gators' Go-To Lawyer Has Some Issues Of His Own
The Orlando Sentinel, still tub-thumping about those miscreant Gators, has profiled attorney Huntley Johnson, who often handles the players' legal run-ins. What the paper doesn't mention: Johnson once suggested that his secretary "get down" on his "hog" and "honk it."...
A Lesson In How Not To Spin, Courtesy Of The Florida Gators
Twenty-four Florida Gators have been arrested since 2005, a number of such apparent talismanic significance that the Orlando Sentinel decided to publish a "database." The school, understandably peeved, responded with a master class in how not to respond....
Not Even Tasers Can Stop The Gators
Florida's starting cornerback Janoris Jenkins had a brainstorm this weekend, powered by a few thousand watts of taser juice courtesy of the local police. As if that could ever slow down a Gator superstar....
Tim Tebow Turns Away Hotter Stuff Than You Can Dream Of
Percy Harvin, presented without comment: "If I could trade places for a day with anyone: Tim Tebow....We saw all kind of actors and news reporters just kind of blatantly say, "Tebow, I want you." And he turned them down. I'm looking at him, like, "Man, you are crazy." [Pioneer Press]...
What's A Little Theft And Fraud Between Teammates?
Anthone Lott is a Florida Gator through and through. He's so devoted to his alma mater and his former championship teammates that when he wants to swindle someone in a crooked construction deal, only fellow Gator cornerbacks will do for marks....
Urban Meyer Demands Your Eternal Loyalty
Urban Meyer doesn't care how many Florida passing records you set—that was like last century!—if you want to be a Gator, then you shut your mouth and know your role....
Local Baby Unimpressed By Heisman Winner's Wristband Collection
Legend says that anyone who touches Tim Tebow before their first birthday gets free tuition at Florida. More notable: Tebow is wearing seven inspirational wristbands (and a rubber band)! Live strong, indeed. [The Smiths]...