gi Page 265 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Giannis Antetokounmpo Can Hit A Game-Winner, Can't Get A Damn Table At Milwaukee Restaurant [Update]

Bucks star and smoothie fiend Giannis Antetokounmpo had 27 points, including the game-winning bucket with five seconds left, in Sunday’s Game 4 104-102 home victory over the Celtics. And yet, this guy can’t find a table in the city he plays for....

Giants' Brandon Belt Works Historic 21-Pitch Plate Appearance, To No Avail

Brandon Belt of the Giants worked an insane 13-minute, 21-pitch plate appearance in the top of the first inning today, against Angels starter Jaime Barria. This strikes me as almost a troll move! Barria faced six batters in the inning, gave up three singles, and loaded the bases—he threw 28 pitches ...

Hoo Boy, Bucks-Celtics Is A Blast

Man, this Bucks-Celtics series is a hell of a lot of fun. Game 1 was a bonkers overtime affair that featured an insane glut of ballsy shot-making in the final minute of regulation. Games 2 and 3 were mostly wipeouts, but Sunday’s Game 4 had another incredible fourth quarter that came right down to t...

John Sterling Is Still Wooing His Italian Girlfriend With Giancarlo Stanton Home Run Calls

Giancarlo Stanton socked himself a dinger last night, in the third inning of an 8-5 Yankees loss to the visiting Blue Jays. You want to see the dinger, don’t you. Fine. Here’s the dinger:...

Goran Dragic Won't Let You Ignore Him

That’s my guy. Looking like Crossfit Benedict Cumberbatch. Love to see this type of vigor....

Meanwhile, In New York

Boston's Weather Broke Scores Of Elite Runners, But Not Old Man Abdi Abdirahman

Despite miserable weather, 95 percent of of the 27,042 common folk who started Monday’s Boston Marathon eventually crossed the finish line. The whippets up front proved less stalwart: two-thirds of the elite men’s field dropped out. One who didn’t was 41-year-old Tucson resident, Abdi Abdirahman. H...

Arike Ogunbowale's Appearance On <i>Dancing With The Stars </i>Will Be A "Personal Growth Experience" To Fit Dumb NCAA Rules<em></em>

College basketball legend and Notre Dame rising senior Arike Ogunbowale is set to appear on the upcoming season of Dancing With The Stars beginning in just under two weeks. But because Ogunbowale still plays for Notre Dame and is thus considered an NCAA athlete even on summer break, there are at lea...

The Wizards Of Aughts: The Post-Millennium Washington Wizards And The Bloggers Who Immortalized Them

The late-model Washington Wizards are broadly competent, secretly mediocre, spotty, and more boring than they are not. They could be nutshelled as an equal and opposite reaction to their counterparts of a decade ago. Those Wiz teams, which weren’t better but sure were stranger, boasted a bigger coll...

Enormous, Real-Life Bear Oversees Kickoff Of Russian Soccer Match

Mascots are a common sight at soccer matches. Traditionally, these take the form of cute little children who escort the players onto the pitch to start a match. Sometimes, as was the case before a game in Russia this weekend, the cute little children are swapped out in favor of a huge fucking bear:...

Elgin Baylor Is Finally Ready To Tell People He Was Great

Elgin Baylor’s gotta be the most underappreciated superstar of all time, in basketball or any major sport. The guy was NCAA Final Four MVP and NBA Rookie of the Year. He was First-Team All-NBA 10 times and an NBA All-Star 11 times. Baylor led his team, the Minneapolis/Los Angeles Lakers, in the trif...

The End Of Bucks-Celtics Featured A Ridiculous Sequence Of Clutch Buckets

Game 1 of Bucks-Celtics was choppy and hectic and low-scoring, but man was it tense, and the last 10 minutes or so were breathless, hilarious fun. Let’s just sit here and enjoy some highlights for a few minutes, yeah?...

Give Me The Rest Of The Smoothie Instead Of Throwing It Out

My very stupidest design feature is that I am always, at all times, hungry. This links neatly to my second-stupidest attribute, which is that I’m a sucker for smoothies, the most flagrantly upcharged non-artisan foodstuffs currently available for purchase....

Portugal Forward Jéssica Silva Is The Queen Of Filthy Nutmegs

Meet Jéssica Silva, forward for Spanish club Levante and the Portuguese national team. Last week, she made an appearance for Portugal in a Euro 2021 qualifier against Belgium. This gave her an opportunity to do what she does best, which is to absolutely ruin defenders with beautifully disgusting nut...

Innocent Basketball Coach Released From Purgatory

The Orlando Magic have fired head coach Frank Vogel, according to a report by ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski. Vogel coached the incoherent and hopeless but nonetheless consistently hilarious roster of the NBA’s least existent franchise for two seasons, both of which were real and actually happened, comp...

"That Ain't Right!" 

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Marlins Claim British Virgin Islands Citizenship In Attempt To Avoid Miami Court

If I asked you which MLB franchise is claiming foreign citizenship in a Caribbean tax haven, and is doing so in order to get out of a lawsuit, you’d have answered the Marlins before I finished asking the question, wouldn’t you?...

Ray Lewis Says Odell Beckham Jr. Has "Removed God From His Life"

Former NFL linebacker Ray Lewis, who now makes a living going on TV to say “God” and “greatness” as many times as possible, joined Colin Cowherd on FS1 today to dish about Odell Beckham Jr....

Home Run Balls Are Free For The Taking In Chicago Today

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It's Been A Nightmare Start For Giancarlo Stanton

Bottom of the 12th, Yankees down 8-7 to the Orioles, bases loaded, nobody out, and Aaron Judge and Giancarlo Stanton coming up. If you’re going to be down a run, this is the situation you want, right? Here’s what O’s closer Brad Brach did:...