gi Page 477 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Melky Cabrera's Fake Website Sent MLB Investigators All The Way To The Dominican Republic
Can we all just take a second and appreciate how batshit insane Melky Cabrera's scheme to get out of a PED suspension really was? Like, legitimately incredible. In five years, it's going to be hard to believe this is a thing that actually happened. Like Jason Grimsley crawling through the Comiskey d...

Rick Sutcliffe Wants Melky Cabrera Deported
And here we thought the dumbest thing to happen since Melky tested positive for taking testosterone was that Melky and his crew had cooked up a fake website to try to prove his innocence. Pshaw. Melky has not been charged with a crime, but that's of no concern to ESPN baseball analyst/sheriff Rick...

Jason Pierre-Paul Dumps Prince Amukamara Into An Ice Bath, Sports Writer Loses His Ever-Loving Mind
I wish I could tell you this video, that ProFootballTalk posted during the Giants thrashing of the Jets is cause for "concern" in the New York Giants "locker room." Nothing would make me happier than to sit here and pound out a paragraph that suggests the Giants are on the verge of a team meltdown...

Barry Zito Sums Up His San Francisco Giants Career In One Pitch
There are expectations and then there is reality. The expectation, when the Giants signed Zito to a seven-year, $126 million contract, was that his time with the Giants would at least approximate his career to that point with the Athletics. Then, reality....

This Is The Giant Tree Limb That Hospitalized A Woman In Oregon By Suddenly Falling On Her
Poor Melany Crocker. According to The Oregonian, the 21-year-old rising senior at Linfield (Ore.) College was running at a local park Wednesday evening when the Sweetgum tree branch you see above came crashing down on her. Crocker is a sprinter on the Linfield track team. She was pinned to the groun...

The Crime Dog Rips Melky Cabrera A New One
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Fred McGriff has no sympathy for Melky....


Horrible New Uniforms Mean Notre Dame Can Finally Compete With The Marylands Of The World
Here, courtesy reader @bobbyleecoy, are the uniforms Notre Dame will wear when the Fighting Irish lose to Miami in Chicago on Oct. 6. And while I'm a Notre Dame hater like the rest of you, even I can't begin to process the sartorial insult these things are to the school's decaying football tradition...

College Football Hall Of Famer Jim Donnan Ran An $80 Million Ponzi Scheme, Says The Other SEC
The feds love to trumpet it when they've charged a sports figure with a crime, and this morning they reeled in a doozy in Jim Donnan, a 2009 College Football Hall of Fame inductee who was formally pinched on some major allegations of securities fraud....

The Famous Photo Of Juan Marichal Beating Johnny Roseboro With His Bat, In Color
How many times have you seen the AP photo of an enraged Juan Marichal hammering Dodgers catcher Johnny Roseboro with his bat. Unfortunately, the AP still shot mostly in black-and-white in 1965. So Reddit user "BradyIsAnElitePunter" took a whack at colorizing the picture in Photoshop. (Click to see t...

Melky Cabrera Totally Ruined This Kid's Day
The San Francisco Chronicle has a gutpunch of a piece, telling the story of one little boy looking forward to the best birthday ever: a day at the ballpark to watch his favorite player, Melky Cabrera....

"Struck By Blow Dart": A Brief Index Of Recent Terrible Events Involving Joggers
An occasional miscellany (with a head nod toward this great old post on Runner's World's website)....

Torii Hunter Accidentally Drills An Umpire In The Head With His Cleat
What a shitty season for umpire Greg Gibson. First, he gets a Stephen Strasburg fastball to the crotch in April. Now, he's actually in the correct position (as far as I can tell) for making the call on Torii Hunter's attempt to score last night, only to have Hunter's cleat roll up and clip him right...

Did Performance-Enhancing Drugs Actually Help Melky Cabrera?
Since MLB announced Melky Cabrera's 50-game suspension for testosterone earlier this afternoon, a few folks have been crowing about what a fraud Cabrera is. Evidently Cabrera's sin is worse than the usual steroid stuff because he improved dramatically over the last two years and planned to parlay th...

Stan Van Gundy On The Magic: "You Get What You Deserve"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Stan Van doesn't sound too sorry about the mess in Orlando....

Throwing Up Dip And Learning About Blowjobs: Deadspin's Notes On Summer Camp
I went to Camp Deerhorn in Rhinelander, Wis., every summer for the majority of my adolescence. It was an awesome camp. We got to fire guns. We got to shoot arrows. We got to go on horseback rides. (I’ve never shit my pants with more direct force than the first time I was on a horse and it went from ...

Melky Cabrera Tests Positive For Testosterone, Is Suspended 50 Games, Can Still Win The Batting Title
The Giants' Melky Cabrera wowed us this year. That doughy loser who couldn't cut it in New York or Atlanta managed to hit .346/.390/.516 in 113 games, and for good measure, he won the All-Star Game for the National League. But that will be all for him in 2012, because Cabrera, MLB says, was pumped f...

Joe Gibbs: "I Was Queer For Tight Ends"
Joe Gibbs was just on ESPN Radio and ESPN News with Ryen Russillo and Bram Weinstein, and he had an ... interesting way of expressing his feelings toward tight ends (and toward Charles Oakley, who had just finished his appearance on the show)....

The 10 Rules Of Pimping, As Written By An Actual (Alleged) Pimp
Steven McDaniel, of Long Island, NY, was arrested and charged today with running a prostitution and heroin ring. Among the items seized by police was a handwritten list of the "Rule's 2 Da Game of Hoez!!!" Thanks to the Smoking Gun, we proudly present that list, quite sic'd....

Catching <em>Phantom Of The Opera</em> With Vince McMahon: More Wrestler Run-Ins
Inspired by the saga of "Wrestling Superstar Virgil," we continue with readers' encounters with the titans of the squared circle. If you've had your own run-in with pro wrestlers past or present, e-mail us, subject line "Virgilbag."...