gi Page 503 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Giants Rookie Conor Gillaspie Had A Very Rookie Inside-The-Park Homer Last Night (Video)
There are two things that make this—Conor Gillaspie's first major league home run—a very rookie home run: 1. The stumble and trip as he is waved home ( "Honestly, I was pretty embarrassed," he said after the game. "I didn't want to get up"); and 2. The fact that once he had made it home and set al...

Maradona's Totally Sorry About Kicking That Fan In Dubai
"'I am emotional, this is my nature. I've always been like this as a player and coach. Sometimes I feel like I'm a player of Al Wasl. The sign was a message from my grandson and daughters in Manchester and Argentina and it means they support me in whatever I do. I apologise to the fan I hurt but I...

They Cried Tears Of Joy And Praised The Heavens When The Brewers Clinched A Division Title
Your morning roundup for Sept. 24, a day you no longer have to worry about getting hit by a falling satellite unless you already got hit, in which case wouldn't be reading this because you're not alive to fret. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

I-Team: Was Bruce Bochy Giving Interviews On The Shitter Last Night At Dodger Stadium?
Tipster Andrew sent us the above photo of the San Francisco Giants manager and added this: "Check out this screen shot of Bruce Bochy's postgame interview. Notice anything odd in the background? Is it possible the man is giving an interview while dropping a deuce?"...

The Fake Outrage Over Fake Injuries; Or, How To Piss On An NFL Sideline Without Anyone Seeing
Faking injuries in the NFL is a time-honored method of stopping the momentum of an opponent and giving your own team a much-needed breather. It's like calling a timeout in basketball when the other team is on a big run. Since football doesn't have the luxury of all those silly 20-second timeouts, th...

Bryan Stow Speaks His First Words Since Dodger Stadium Beating
Great update via the website through which Bryan Stow's family keeps the world apprised of how his recovery from a brutal beating outside Dodger Stadium is going....

The Cincinnati Bearcats Think The Cincinnati Bearcats Logo Is Worthy Of Being Protected By Velvet Rope
Welcome to Cincy's most exclusive night club....

Rashard Lewis Is "Willing To Sacrifice" Himself For The NBA Owners' Sins
In 2007, chronic underachiever Rashard Lewis signed a six-year, $118-million contract with the Orlando Magic. Then, last December, the Magic unloaded Lewis onto the Washington Wizards in exchange for their own chronic underachiever, Gilbert Arenas. Arenas had a six-year, $111-million contract at the...

Djokovic-Federer Had Nothing On Christ-Satan, Says Writer Who Is Not Joking
"The match between Djokovic and Federer in New York was quite a spectacle, but it was nothing compared to Christ's victory over sin and death and Satan. 'And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.' (Colossians 2:15) Memo to ...

If You're Comfortable Watching Girls Run Facefirst Into Soccer Goalposts, Watch This
This young girl goalkeeper was woefully out of position when an opposing forward took a quality shot. In attempting to stop said shot, the young girl goalkeeper's forehead met the goalpost with authority. And yes, classy dad who pipes up at the end, it appears she is "done already."...

NFL Sends Strongly-Worded Memo To Teams Telling Them To Stop Faking Injuries, Please
The league has already said they won't discipline Deon Grant or the Giants for their mysterious incapacitation that just happened to stall the Rams' no-huddle offense on Monday night. An NFL spokesman admitted there's no way to prove when injuries are fake, so unless a player admits their duplicit...

Missing Homeless San Francisco Giants Fan Found In LA
Known simply as Billy (with a last name believed to be Chamberlain), he had endeared himself to a number of people affiliated with the Giants—players, coaches, security, writers—by pleasantly hanging around the parking lot for years. And then Billy was gone, his absence noteworthy enough to make th...

Michael Boley Hugged It Out With The Kid He Nailed In The Face
When Giants linebacker Michael Boley took a failed lateral 65 yards for his first career touchdown, he was so hyped up he was all "GRAARRR I'm gonna throw this ball as hard as I can," and he absolutely smoked a kid in a backpack. It was great TV, not so great for the kid....

Texas A&M Fans Provoke Baylor With Waco Billboard: "Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor's Conference Deal"
Just when we think we've gone and boiled Texas football down to its essence, the Texans go and out-Texan themselves....

SprtsCntr: All New York, All The Time
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Lady Gaga Poured Champagne Into A Disabled Section At The Giants Game Last Night
For those keeping score, she has also flipped the bird at a Mets game and chugged whiskey and fondled herself in the Yankee Stadium clubhouse. No word on whether she plans to continue her unique quest for the New York sports cycle by spitting on children at Madison Square Garden. [New York Post; Ph...

The Rams Were A Real Pain In Ahmad Bradshaw's Nuts Last Night
Your morning roundup for Sept. 20, the day we learned that putting on a banana costume sometimes isn't worth it. Photo via tipster Ryan, who saw it on ESPN.com and wrote, "Thanks for the nut grab photo, ESPN." Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Eli Manning Told Suzy Kolber He Was Impressed With How Big Brandon Stokley's Package Grew During The Game
Here's Eli Manning with some important postgame football talk about how wide receiver Brandon Stokley's package size changed during tonight's game. Giants won, 28-16, even though the offense didn't play too well....

Giants LB Michael Boley Celebrates His Return TD By Whipping The Ball At Some Dude's Face
Whatever godforsaken gig has this guy standing on the sidelines—an innocent victim, forced into Boley's warpath—I hope like hell he's getting paid for it....

Your Monday Night Football Open Thread
Hakeem Nicks is likely to play; Steven Jackson will not. So it's Cadillac time in the Meadowlands! The Rams and the Giants both had hopes of competing this year, and one of them is going to have a lot less hope once this is done....