gi Page 535 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

FMK: Ichiro, Werth, Strawberry
I've fielded kyuu or juu tips-emails about this video of Blossoming Young Lady Giddying Up After Ichiro Elbows Her Face, Caresses Her Outer Thigh....

Great Moments In Comic Sans History
In light of Dan Gilbert's laudable, laughable open letter to LeBron James, we proudly present an alternate history, in which Comic Sans is the font of choice (complete with needless scare quotes)....

Cavs Owner Channels Crazy Person: "Some People Think They Should Go To Heaven But NOT Have To Die To Get There"
Owner Dan Gilbert has written an open letter to Cavs fans in the sort of prose you normally find wrapped around a brick. Note the font: The guy makes Comic Sans seem sinister....

Fan-Burning-LeBron-Jersey Videos Are The New Fan-Screaming-In-Front-Of-TV Videos
Cleveland is having its very own Guy Fawkes Day right now. If you see any more of these out there, do let us know. [via @TreyKerby]...

Paraguay Cellphone-Boobs Girl Says She's Received Creepy Death Threat. Or Something. (Update)
Larissa Riquelme — aka Paraguay Girl, aka Cellphone-Boobs Girl — has taken to Facebook to alert everyone that she is being threatened! Possibly! The Google-translated message after the jump....

Deadspin Classic: A Children's Treasury Of Men Getting Blasted In The Face With Champagne
We at Deadspin research spent a solid day compiling these photos, and hardly any of you stopped to admire our work the first time around. So you know what? Here they are again, like a cold blast of liquid to the face....

Georgia AD Had "Red Panties Between His Legs"
Damon Evans's DUI arrest just keeps giving and giving. The police report has tears, women's underwear, a power play, and more tears....

Top 13 Subject Lines Of Emails Received From Nick Denton
I've worked at Gawker Media for over four years and in that time have received numerous emails from owner Nick Denton. These are my favorites. See if you can guess which site I was writing for when I got them....

The Georgia University AD Who Was Arrested For DUI Has A Mugshot That Looks Like This
The person in this photo, who appears anesthetized or possibly catatonic, is Damon Evans, athletic director at the University of Georgia. He was pulled over for allegedly driving all boozy and woozy. And now a message from Evans before he was busted....

Yankee Fan On Cellphone Catches Ground Rule Double With His Face
Ever get stuck next to the guy in your section who won't get off his cellphone? Well, this video is for you. If you're the one calling, hang up and pay attention....unless you want a Rawlings to the face....

Paraguay Girl, Larissa Riquelme, Will Shed What Little Clothing She Wears If Team Wins Cup
So this girl has turned into living, breathing, boob-heaving monster. Paraguay defeated Japan on PKs and the world seems more interested in the possibility of her disrobing (which she often does) than if her country miraculously wins the World Cup....

Goal-Line Tech Expert: How FIFA Can Kick Bad Calls In 3 Easy Steps
Chuck Salter over at Fast Company is just like you: sick and tired of all the bad calls from refs during the World Cup. This is his three-point plan for FIFA to significantly reduce the number of shitty calls per game....

Baltimore Radio Guy Loses His Mind Over John Riggins
Riggins has a new show on MASN, and to hype it up, he filmed a commercial at a generic football field. Problem is, it's not so generic: it's M&T Bank Stadium, home of the Ravens....

Last Night's Winner: White Magic
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the England National Team, who had apparently been afflicted by a witch doctor curse, which was just lifted by the official Archdruid of Cornwall. Twenty-sided dice, too, probably....

World Cup Open Thread: Greece-Argentina; Nigeria-South Korea
The second batch of games has some potential. Greece will need to hold back the relentless Argentine attack if it wants to advance. Can Nigeria play spoiler to the ambitious South Koreans? Comment as you watch....

Crucial Relationship Advice Spoken Drunkenly To Teenagers: Cheat On All Your Girlfriends
I went to a bachelor party this weekend in a seaside town. There was eating, and drinking, and a failed attempt to get two Polish Food Lion clerkettes to come over and massage the groom....

Don't Let Notre Dame Touch You There, Big Ten
So Lou Holtz finally wants Notre Dame in The Big 10. I never took him for a bandwagoner, but his assessment that the conferences are eventually going to split into a few mega-conferences isn't lacking for evidence....

Tim Donaghy On Game 7: How The League Influences A Series
Tim Donaghy, the former NBA referee who spent 11 months in prison for relaying inside information to gamblers, is reviewing the performance of his former colleagues during the NBA Finals. Here's a quarter-by-quarter breakdown of Game 7, with video....

Extremely In-Depth Profiles In Courage: Sara Carbonero (A.K.A. The Spanish Goalkeeper's Nagging Girlfriend)
That's Sara Carbonero, the Spanish TV reporter and ladypal of Iker Casillas, and wouldn't you know it, she's being blamed for Spain's loss to Switzerland. But what do we really know about her? Here we go again....

Texas A&M AD Challenges Alum To Fight, Alum Sadly Doesn't Accept
Bill Byrne, athletic director at Texas A&M, made an embarrassing gaffe this week when he revealed himself to be a terribly old man who doesn't understand email. He should know by now that all internet threats are empty threats....