gi Page 587 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Another "BCS" "Bowl Game"
Forgive us for not doing much of an update on the gripping Fiesta Bowl last night. As happy as we might be for West Virginia and their new coach — and we're so, so happy, no question — but it's difficult to be too fired up for one top 10 to beat another top 10 in a meaningless bowl game just because...

Introducing The College Basketball Closer
Starting today, the College Basketball Closer will be written (more or less) daily by Jonah Keri. Jonah's work has appeared in a bunch of different publications, including ESPN.com, Baseball Prospectus, the New York Times, the New York Sun and YESNetwork.com. E-mail your questions, comments or Clare...

Patriots Fans Are Deranged, Buxom
A lot of people say that they're Patriots' fans, but how many are willing to bare their breasts for the cause? (No, not you, sir; please sit down). Sorry if I'm late to the party with this, but I've only just heard of wannabe actress Cheryl Ling, who is better known as the topless Patriots superfan ...

Welcome To The System Quarterback Club, Colt
Tiny tidbits and news niblets from the OTHER bowl games yesterday ......

The Rose Bowl In The Twilight Zone
The question we've been discussing with fellow Illini fans over the last 12 hours or so; was it really worth it? Was it worth watching our Illini be absolutely destroyed in the Rose Bowl yesterday? Wouldn't we all have been better off if Illinois had a more competitive, fun, matchup against Florida ...

Woe Is The Illini
The Tennessee State Tigers are 4-8, with losses to Belmont, Akron, Colorado State and Southeast Missouri State. It was once known as the Tennessee State Agricultural and Industrial State Normal School for Negroes. Oprah Winfrey went there. And yesterday, they beat our Illini at the Assembly Hall in ...

Gold Diggin' Aggies
I'll let you click over to see how this one ends ......

NFL Roundup: The Perfect Pats
I'd like to extend my sincerest thanks to the NFL for allowing me to watch last night's football game. In fact, If Greg Bryant Gumbel hadn't been calling the action; I might have even considered it one of the most entertaining games I'd ever watched. (Seriously, he blows.) Did I jump off my couch wh...

Can The Giants Slay The Giant?
Better bust out the good potato chips for this one, folks. Instant history kind of demands an "All-Dressed" rippled. The Patriots close out their 2007 regular season against the New York Giants tonight as they attempt to become the fourth team in the NFL's 88-year history to finish a regular season ...

How Do You Like 'Dem Apples, Riley?
My Christmas holiday summed up in five words or less: Clementines, Toblerones and beer. No joke. A million thanks to Alphonso Jackson, Nancy K. Kopp and, of course, Rick Chandler for filling in while I was gone. Your 'Body Shop' gift certificates are in the mail. Now, on to the NBA Closer!...

Ron Zook, Somewhat Less Intense This Week
We will say this: It is unlikely this photo above is going to replace Ron Zook Pisses Intensity Photo....

Oh Gosh Todd, You Shouldn't Have Said That
Male cheerleaders have their place in life, we suppose. Who else can we mock mercilessly and string up by the heels from flagpoles? I mean, who else who can't fight back? We laugh at their spiffy routines and tight-fitting sweater-and-slacks combinations, occasionally one becomes President, and life...

The Chief Simply Will Not Go Away
For all the excitement about next Tuesday's Rose Bowl game between our Illini and those suddenly hateable USC Trojans, it has one major downside: Everybody's talking about the damned Chief again....

Buy A Dirty Feller's Beard
The guy in this picture is not famed West F—-in' Virginia fan The Mighty MJD, though we wish it were. It's "bragg-mcdowell," and he's selling his beard on eBay....

Knicks Ready To 'Turn The Page' After Tragic Coach Mauling
Our story so far: Skeets is still under quarantine in a small room at the Canadian border, and will not return to the NBA Closer until next week. Filling in today is Nancy K. Kopp, Chairman of the Board of Trustees of the Maryland Retirement and Pension Agency....

West Virginians Should Get Out Of The Conspiracy Theory Business
There's been a wave of sympathy for Michigan in the past year, and I for one hoped they were going to find a good solid coach from the lower ranks to bring up, like Ohio State did with Jim Tressel. That didn't happen, and my sympathy swung to West Virginia for losing their fabled coach Rich Rodrigue...

Alex Legion Gets His Exodus After All
In our ongoing coverage of the dogmatic inevitability that Alex Legion will lead Kentucky to the Final Four, a tranquil atmosphere casts over the tumultuous world of college basketball....

Mustaches Amplify Sadness
When you see Stan Van Gundy all pissed off on the TV, you have to go through a lot of mental logic to remember which team he coaches right now. Miami? Yeah, they're bad so that would make sense, but ... wait, no. Houston? I think so... oh, wrong Van Gundy. Cleveland? Does he coach Cleveland? Well, n...

Cultural Oddsmaker: III
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday ... well, the next two Fridays, anyway. Yes, after more than a year of goodness, Mr. Daulerio is retiring the Cultural Oddsmaker column at the beginning of 2008. There are now THREE left. Email him to let him know how much you'll miss him. Happy Fri...

No More Illini For Us For A While
We're not going to any more Illini sporting events; we're gonna need something to cheer us up....