gi Page 599 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

If Nenad Krstic Wasn't Such A Sex Object, This Wouldn't Be Happening
The man just puts people in the mood for porno. And soon, Nets fans won't have to go far to satisfy their jones....

Your Importance Is Minimal, Child
We don't mean to imply that Jeff Gordon's newborn child — Ella Sofia Gordon, born yesterday at 9:09 — isn't going to be the most important person in her own family, but the following paragraph appeared on his official site today. (Via the Celebrity Baby Names Blog ... now there's a blog! It's almost...

And Suddenly That Giant Hog Story Looks So Unimpressive
We like bears. As Robert Klein once said, they are the most helpful of all the animals. "If you have to be stuck in an elevator, it might as well be with a bear. 'Can you reach up there, bear?' 'Well, I think I can try ...' " But when a bear is attacking your six-year-old son, there's only one thing...

Not A Coach, But He Played One On TV
We happily welcome Reggie Theus, mustached oiled man of mystery, back to the NBA, thanks to his new gig as head coach of the Sacramento Kings. Theus, of course, is probably more famous for his modeling and thespian work than his coaching, though he did bring New Mexico State to the NCAA tournament l...

Real Jews Root For The Red Sox
Via Bar Stool Sports — and we're slightly late on this — we learn that American Jewish Life Magazine (not edited by David Hirshey) makes the solid case that all Jews should love the Red Sox and hate the Yankees....

Why Would The Orioles Ever Need To Make A Change?
We don't mean to imply that it might be a tough time for Cubs fans, but now their executives are jumping ship to the Orioles....

The Islanders Want Their Blogs In A Box
Yesterday, the New York Islanders — perhaps noticing that the number of reporters in their "legitimate" press box was dwindling — announced "The NYI Blog Box." It is, as far as we can tell, the first attempt by a league, team or organization to address the growing influence of the sports blog world ...

A Requiem For Bad Moon's Money
For months now, we've been trying to figure out why, during our exhibition football game against Andre Rison and Kordell Stewart, Rison felt obliged to hug us. We felt we had competed hard, but not quite worthy of a hug. We thought maybe Andre was just lonely. Maybe he missed Left Eye?...

Elijah Dukes Continues To Bat 1.000
If you're a social worker who is considering a foster care applicaton, how could you not approve the couple who is related to Elijah Dukes? A 17-year-old girl who is in foster care with a relative of Dukes told the Tampa police that Dukes got her pregnant. The article goes on to say that Dukes will ...

Is Gilbert Really Gonna Leave?
With everyone up in arms about the possibility of Gilbert Arenas leaving the Wizards, we thought we'd look at whether or not he would actually leave. After all, Gilbert is that rare superstar athlete who seems human and likable, and the average fan doesn't like to see a guy like that just — all toge...

Gilbert Arenas Has A Lot Of Baby Stuff To Buy
The Washington Wizards say that they're not surprised that Agent Zero plans to opt out of the final year of his contract, turning down the team's offer of a three-year extension. Arenas signed a six-year, $65 million deal with the team in 2003, but says that he can make bigger money through free age...

What's Eating Gilbert Arenas?
No athlete — let alone NBA player — captured the attention of blogo-savvy fans over the past year like Gilbert Arenas. His personality and antics jibed with our sensibilities....

Agassi's Best Li'l Schoolhouse in Vegas
After that Vick link-dump, I'm thrilled to move on to something much more soft-focus: The cheerleading coach at the charter school founded by Andre Agassi was busted in an undercover prostitution sting....

Where's Barry Manilow When You Really Need Him?
Attention all aspiring songwriters: Spain needs lyrics for its National Anthem. This is especially important considering the Summer Olympics are coming up, and Spanish athletes want to sing, sing, sing! Their fans are tired of sitting there mute during the medal ceremony as the Swiss are belting out...

Don't Give Up Hope On Barry Bonds Yet
As we wonder how the heck Barry Bonds can be out with shin splints when he never actually runs, we point out that, because of his injury and his recent slump, it is no longer an absolute certainty that he's going to break Hank Aaron's record....

The Enigma That Is Billy Donovan
Well, now that lawyers are involved, we can reclassify the Billy Donovan saga from curiously entertaining to officially ugly. We'd love to know the real reason that Donovan balked on his Orlando Magic contract a mere two days after signing it; did he discover the team's troubling history of unprovok...

Nice Pitching, You Blockhead
Look, there's probably no tougher job in baseball than that of closer. But that being said, it's hard to imagine someone failing at it in more spectacular fashion than did the Giants' Armando Benitez last week. The Giants had a one-run lead in the ninth against the Mets on May 29 when Benitez was br...

Eric Mangini Enjoys Vesuvio's
We like Jets coach Eric Mangini, even if he's way too young to be that football-coach tubby. But we — as obsessed "Sopranos" fans since the very first episode — hope he understands the honor bestowed upon him. He cameoed last night on what was one of the most intense, breathtaking episodes of the mo...

Jack Trudeau Likes Alcohol ... Policemen, Not So Much
It's that time of year. The kids are graduating from high school, and former Colts quarterbacks are getting them shitfaced. It seems like just yesterday, it was me donning the cap and gown, getting my diploma, and Jeff George threatening to beat my ass if I couldn't do a keg stand for 45 seconds....

You Say 'Monster Pig,' I Say 'Fred'
I could be wrong about this, but I think hunters would be less likely to thoughtlessly pump bullets into animals if they knew they had names. For instance, that giant pig that the 11-year-old killed? Would it have been so easy to pull the trigger (9 times) if the enormous animal had been wearing a n...