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Bo Nix, Auburn Just Took Whatever Oregon Gave Them
With just over two minutes left in the game, Oregon was tasked with stopping an Auburn offense that had slowly but surely built momentum for itself throughout the second half from getting into field goal range. It wasn’t the easiest of challenges, as the Tigers returned a punt to their 40-yard line,...

Cristiano Ronaldo Makes Fun Of VAR For Being A Killjoy After Scoring
Cristiano Ronaldo thought he’d scored his first goal of the new Serie A season last week, only for VAR to erase it due to one of those maddeningly marginal offside calls. In today’s match against Napoli, the Juventus forward once again found the back of the net, only this time the goal stood. In ack...

Gory Days: Tell Us Your Most Embarrassing Sports Moment
Good day, readers. It’s the Friday before Labor Day, and if you haven’t yet completely checked out from work for the long weekend, you have my permission to do so as soon as you finish reading this blog. I’ve already cleared it with your boss, so no worries. Also, this blog needs your help....

Rays Prospect Blake Bivens After Family Was Killed In Triple Homicide: "My Life As I Knew It Is Destroyed"
On Tuesday, the wife, son, and mother-in-law of Rays pitching prospect Blake Bivens was killed in a triple murder: Joan Bernard, 62; her daughter and Bivens’s wife, Emily Bernard Bivens, 25; and Cullen Bivens, 14 months. Charged with three counts of first-degree murder is 18-year-old Matthew Bernard...

Last Man Standing In Bears' Exhaustive Kicker Competition Bonks Extra Point To Timbuktu
The kicker competition at Bears training camp has been an ongoing delight for anyone who is neither a Bears fan nor a kicker auditioning for the job. Nine—one two three four five six seven eight nine—kickers were initially rounded up and cast in Matt Nagy’s weirdly self-loathing quest to somehow ban...

Skateboarding Dog Crushes Stair Sets? Skateboarding Dog Crushes Stair Sets
Murdy the Dawg is a well-known figure in the skating world, and Thrasher magazine actually released this part in February, but he has only just now rolled into our purview, which is as good enough a reason as any to share this video. What, are you not going to watch a skateboarding dog who also know...

Keon Broxton Earns Ejection With Badass Long-Distance No-Look Glove Slap
I prefer to live in a world where the action that got Keon Broxton ejected from Monday night’s Yankees-Mariners game was 100 percent intentional. What’s more, I prefer to live in a world where Broxton becomes the Homer Simpson of the no-look glove-slap, and goes around flinging gloves across the fac...

Megan Greenwell, Like The Oakland A's Every Year, Makes An Early Exit
Deadspin editor-in-chief Megan Greenwell is leaving us for WEIRD Magazine, which we can only assume is a sad rip-off of Mad and Cracked. We will miss her deeply, and to show our affection in the only way we know how, we’re roasting her ass....

Check Out Tom Brady And His Stupid Hat
Check out Tom Brady’s stupid hat! He wore it last night after the Patriots’ 10-3 preseason win over the Panthers. It’s a nice big hat, one that might protect you from the sun’s harmful rays. Unfortunately for Tom, he wore the hat indoors at 10:30 at night. Tom Brady’s sold monorails to Brockway, Ogd...

ESPN's Ariel Helwani Pops A Boner Over Having A Role In Conor McGregor's PR Campaign
Conor McGregor is many objectionable things. He’s a massive shithead, an outspoken bigot, a rich showy asshole, a violent rage-monster, a destroyer of other people’s personal property, and a puncher of helpless old men. He was accused of sexual assault in December. He’s also a man whose livelihood d...

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Chicago Bears
Some people are fans of the Chicago Bears. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Chicago Bears. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here....

It Is Hazardous To Be A Bears Kicker Under Matt Nagy
If you want the simplest, hardest piece of news from Kalyn Kahler’s fantastic writeup for Sports Illustrated of the Chicago Bears’ offseason kicking saga, it’s that the decision to cut Cody Parkey was made immediately upon the second doink. If you want the most important and still-relevant piece of ...

The Brain Of Nick Castellanos Has Transcended Time, The Standings
Professional athletes are known to enter some strange head-spaces in order to stay focused and conquer doubt and all the rest of it. Still, it must be said, Cubs outfielder Nick Castellanos is truly smelling the psychosphere these days. He was asked Tuesday night why he greets manager Joe Maddon wit...

The New XFL Team Names And Logos Are Something Worse Than Bad
The second, flaghumpinger incarnation of the XFL is, it appears, truly actually happening next spring. Landry Jones is in and the league has real teams and everything! Unfortunately, these are those teams....

Baseball's Cranks Agree: The Sport Was Better When They Were Part Of It
Hall of Fame reliever Goose Gossage has been complaining about the state of baseball for so long that his complaints have spanned multiple decades of the sport. It feels like just yesterday, he was lecturing Joba Chamberlain on “the Yankee way.” (Joba Chamberlain is now retired.) Eleven years later,...

Craig Kimbrel Had To Pitch In A Ballpark Of Little Leaguers Mocking Him
The Cubs’ 7-1 win over the Pirates in Williamsport, Penn., on Sunday night wasn’t the tightest of ballgames, but the Little Leaguers in attendance had fun all the way through the end. In the ninth inning, with the game far out of reach and Craig Kimbrel on just to get some reps after coming off the ...

Former Running Back Cedric Benson Dies In Motorcycle Crash
Former Bears, Bengals and Packers running back Cedric Benson died on Saturday in a motorcycle crash in Austin, Texas, according to multiple reports. He was 36....

Bill Walton Learned How To Enjoy Baseball In Real Time
On the 50th anniversary of Woodstock, former NBA superstar Bill Walton made his way into the broadcast booth of NBC Sports Chicago to be the color commentator for a White Sox-Angels game. Walton was his usual self whenever he spoke, taking quantum leaps from topic to topic as he transitioned between...

Kyle Long Tried To Beat A Teammate With His Own Helmet And Then Barfed
Training camp fights are a relatively common occurrence, but few are as eventful as the scrap that took place on Wednesday between Bears offensive lineman Kyle Long and defensive lineman Jalen Dalton. Here is a description of the fight that is just packed with evocative imagery:...

Conor McGregor Sucker-Punches Old Man After Whiskey Argument In Dublin Pub
Conor McGregor still hasn’t decided on his next fight, but in the meantime he’s won an exhibition bout against an old guy who was just trying to have a pint....