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Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Chicago Bears
Some people are fans of the Chicago Bears. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Chicago Bears. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here....
It Is Hazardous To Be A Bears Kicker Under Matt Nagy
If you want the simplest, hardest piece of news from Kalyn Kahler’s fantastic writeup for Sports Illustrated of the Chicago Bears’ offseason kicking saga, it’s that the decision to cut Cody Parkey was made immediately upon the second doink. If you want the most important and still-relevant piece of ...
The Brain Of Nick Castellanos Has Transcended Time, The Standings
Professional athletes are known to enter some strange head-spaces in order to stay focused and conquer doubt and all the rest of it. Still, it must be said, Cubs outfielder Nick Castellanos is truly smelling the psychosphere these days. He was asked Tuesday night why he greets manager Joe Maddon wit...
The New XFL Team Names And Logos Are Something Worse Than Bad
The second, flaghumpinger incarnation of the XFL is, it appears, truly actually happening next spring. Landry Jones is in and the league has real teams and everything! Unfortunately, these are those teams....
Baseball's Cranks Agree: The Sport Was Better When They Were Part Of It
Hall of Fame reliever Goose Gossage has been complaining about the state of baseball for so long that his complaints have spanned multiple decades of the sport. It feels like just yesterday, he was lecturing Joba Chamberlain on “the Yankee way.” (Joba Chamberlain is now retired.) Eleven years later,...
Craig Kimbrel Had To Pitch In A Ballpark Of Little Leaguers Mocking Him
The Cubs’ 7-1 win over the Pirates in Williamsport, Penn., on Sunday night wasn’t the tightest of ballgames, but the Little Leaguers in attendance had fun all the way through the end. In the ninth inning, with the game far out of reach and Craig Kimbrel on just to get some reps after coming off the ...
Former Running Back Cedric Benson Dies In Motorcycle Crash
Former Bears, Bengals and Packers running back Cedric Benson died on Saturday in a motorcycle crash in Austin, Texas, according to multiple reports. He was 36....
Bill Walton Learned How To Enjoy Baseball In Real Time
On the 50th anniversary of Woodstock, former NBA superstar Bill Walton made his way into the broadcast booth of NBC Sports Chicago to be the color commentator for a White Sox-Angels game. Walton was his usual self whenever he spoke, taking quantum leaps from topic to topic as he transitioned between...
Kyle Long Tried To Beat A Teammate With His Own Helmet And Then Barfed
Training camp fights are a relatively common occurrence, but few are as eventful as the scrap that took place on Wednesday between Bears offensive lineman Kyle Long and defensive lineman Jalen Dalton. Here is a description of the fight that is just packed with evocative imagery:...
Conor McGregor Sucker-Punches Old Man After Whiskey Argument In Dublin Pub
Conor McGregor still hasn’t decided on his next fight, but in the meantime he’s won an exhibition bout against an old guy who was just trying to have a pint....
That Sure Blew Up In Mickey Callaway's Face
The Mets have somehow gotten themselves into playoff contention, which is both good news and bad news for them. The good news, obviously, is that they may yet have a successful season after a very lame first half. The bad news is that now people are actually paying attention to the Mets, and that me...
Former MMA Guy Gives Alarmingly Cagey Interview About Working For Jeffrey Epstein
Igor Zinoviev’s mixed martial arts career ended unceremoniously in 1998 when he was wiped out in 22 seconds by Frank Shamrock at UFC 16. That brief seven-match career in sanctioned MMA ultimately will not go down as Zinoviev’s claim to fame—the Russian strongman spent years in the employ of recently...
WWE Needs To Learn From Its Own <i>King Of The Ring </i>Mistakes
It was easy to miss between the next chapter in the Seth Rollins chronicles and Sasha Banks’s triumphant return, but Monday night’s episode of RAW featured a blast from the past: WWE is bringing back the King of the Ring tournament. Or, more precisely, WWE is bringing back a tournament with King of ...
The Cubs Were Screwed By The Worst Strike Three Call Of The Season, Maybe Of All Time
Maybe it’s time to let our robot umpire overlords reign supreme. At the very least, Cubs fans would be well within their rights in calling for the technology that will, in theory if not yet in practice, remove human error from strikes and balls, after Chicago was on the wrong end of one of the worst...
Tigers Outfielder Generously Guides Kyle Seager's Third Dinger Over The Outfield Wall
It says something about the state of baseball that the least interesting thing about this play, from the top of the ninth inning of an 11–6 Mariners win over the Tigers, is that it was Kyle Seager’s third dinger of the night. Multi-homer games are so common now that they’re becoming passé—for crying...
Grigor Dimitrov Continues To Slog Through His Hellish Season
Grigor Dimitrov, who used to be good, is not anymore. The 28-year-old Bulgarian is stuck in a Groundhog Day fugue. Almost every day Dimitrov wakes up, goes to work, and has to play Stan Wawrinka in the first round of a tournament. It’s deeply unpleasant. It’s what he did last week in Montreal (he lo...
Fernando Tatis Jr. Is The Most Powerful Of All The Baseball Sons
This has been the year of the baseball sons. Vlad Jr. and his tremendous rump have been around since April, and some big taters have been mashed. Bo Bichette and his feathered locks joined the fray about two weeks ago, and he has been a delight. Cavan Biggio has been... around... doing stuff. Howeve...
With Shots At "Gory Crap," Vince McMahon Uses His Old Wrestling War Playbook Against AEW
Vince McMahon is nothing if not predictable....
Matt Nagy Has Double-Doink On The Brain
Time was running out in the first half of the Bears’ preseason loss to the Panthers on Thursday night, and Chicago was in field goal range. Well, ostensibly. Bears coach Matt Nagy took one look at the spot of the ball after the half’s penultimate play, and immediately had sweaty-palmed flashbacks. D...
Bill Walton Has The Time Of His Life At The Padres Game
Listen. If Bill Walton is calling a given day “the greatest day of my life,” that’s a real day! The man has been many places and done many things. He won two NCAA championships, two NBA titles, and an MVP, to say nothing of getting married and having kids and all that type of stuff. But apparently n...