go Page 292 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Golfer Matt Kuchar, Weary From Everyone Telling Him He's Awful, Apologizes For Stiffing His Caddie And Pays Up
Pro golfer Matt Kuchar announced today that he’s seen the light on the decision to stiff his fill-in caddie at a tournament in Mexico in November, no doubt due to the hearty all-shit diet he’s consumed in the months since. Kuchar offered an apology and says he has now settled up with caddie David Or...

Colin Kaepernick Settles Collusion Case With NFL
Colin Kaepernick and the NFL reached a settlement today in the Oct. 2017 collusion lawsuit that Kaepernick filed against the league over his alleged blackballing. Kaepernick’s attorney, Mark Geragos, announced the news this afternoon with a brief statement, also confirming that Eric Reid had also s...

Brayden McNabb Got Caught Smirking After He Knocked Andreas Johnsson Out Of The Game
Toronto Maple Leafs forward Andreas Johnsson had to leave Thursday night’s eventual 6-3 win over the Golden Knights in the second period, after what appeared to be an attempt at a knee-to-knee collision from Knights defender Brayden McNabb. It looks like McNabb’s hit landed just above Johnsson’s kne...

Players Like Sergio Ramos Are Why You Can Never Count Out Real Madrid
Real Madrid were always going to struggle to cope with losing Cristiano Ronaldo last summer, and during the first half of a miserable season with only one notable bright spot, that challenge proved even tougher than most would’ve imagined. However, Real Madrid are still Real Madrid, winners of four ...

Steve Kerr Goes Fucking Ballistic At The Climax Of A Warriors Meltdown
In the fourth quarter of Wednesday night’s Warriors-Trail Blazers game, referee Kenny Mauer went to the replay monitor to check a hard foul from Draymond Green on a cutting Zach Collins. The game had already gotten chippy, after a huge Collins chase-down block at the other end seemed to unsettle the...

Poop Johnson Is Back In The News
No, his first name is not really “Poop.” It’s Cory. That doesn’t take anything away from how this transaction was delivered, though:...

Unavoidable Organization With Amoral Right-Wing Ownership Announces Partnership With Sinclair
The Chicago Cubs announced today that they will be launching a new regional sports network, beginning in 2020. For the new venture, called Marquee Sports Network, the Ricketts family has partnered with a real gem of a broadcasting company: Sinclair. Yeah, that Sinclair....

Report: Big Dumb President Spent $50,000 On Big Dumb Golf Simulator
If you’ve ever been to the golf section in a sporting goods store and taken a whirl on the golf simulator—in which you just whack a golf ball into a virtual screen six feet in front of you—you’ve probably wondered what kind of asshole would actually pay to have one installed in their house. Well, to...

Klay Thompson's Finger Briefly Points In Surprising New Direction After Gross Injury
Klay Thompson’s Tuesday night got off to a nauseating start, when his finger did something very gross in the first quarter of the Warriors’ home game against the Utah Jazz. Thompson was working against Donovan Mitchell when his hand appeared to smash into Mitchell’s side, and came away looking very ...

DeMarcus Cousins's Skull Deserved An Assist On This Warriors Bucket
One of the perverse joys of watching the Golden State Warriors is seeing how sloppily they can play while still getting away with it. They like to pass, obviously: The Dubs keep the ball moving and have racked up the fourth-most passes and the most assists of any team this season....

Sergio Agüero Is The Greatest Premier League Goalscorer Ever
Sergio Agüero scored three goals in Manchester City’s 6-0 evisceration of Chelsea on Sunday. He was the team’s best player on the day, just as he has been all season long and indeed for the duration of his eight record-breaking seasons in the Premier League. For as routine as the Argentine hitman ha...

Two Good Bayern Munich Fans Thwart A Dickhead's Attempted Jersey Thievery
A little Bayern Munich fan’s dream was almost dashed this weekend when defender Joshua Kimmich came over to toss the kid his jersey, only for a rude man to reach out and snag it. Thanks to the help of Kimmich and two other justice-minded fans nearby, though, the culprit was immediately shown the err...

The NBA's Anti-Tanking Reform For Sure Hasn't Solved Sucking
The NBA recently messed with the odds in the draft lottery in order to discourage teams from tanking, but the real fruits of that move will be revealed over time, and anyway certain teams—looking at you, Phoenix—need no promise of draft lottery gold in order to just profoundly suck and lose all the ...

Report: Southern Miss Coach Who Wanted To Hire Art Briles Also Tried To Add A Player Accused Of Two Knifepoint Rapes
Southern Miss head football coach Jay Hopson firmly disagreed with his university’s decision this week not to hire disgraced former Baylor coach Art Briles, saying that Briles “deserves a second chance” and noting that he “committed no crime.” Thursday The Athletic’s Nicole Auerbach reported a depre...

David De Gea Is Proof That Goalkeepers Should Embrace The Kick Save
You can not read the book on goalkeeping because the book does not exist, and that is for the better. A book might be helpful for outlining fundamentals and common techniques, but it might also be an anchor drowning effectiveness in a pool of orthodoxy, a dagger sacrificing creative problem-solving...

The Deadspin Idiots Eat Gold Foods
I remember watching 2 Chainz eat a $295 burger on GQ’s “Most Expensive Sh*t” series and thinking, “hell to the naw.” $295 for a burger?! And you don’t even get fries with it! Of course, this was not a regular burger, but the “Le Burger Extravagant” from Serendipity 3. The burger consists of all the ...

Nothing Matters As Long As The Warriors Still Exist
While the rest of the NBA was playing hot potato with middling assets on Wednesday night, the Golden State Warriors decided to remind everyone that nothing matters, and that every NBA transaction from now until Kevin Durant decides where he wants to play next summer will be rendered meaningless by w...

Kevin Durant Stops Ignoring The Media So That He Can Yell At The Media
Before the Golden State Warriors’ 141-102 win over the Spurs last night, it had been nine days since Kevin Durant had spoken to the media. Durant’s freeze-out coincided with the Kristaps Porzingis trade, and it was easy to conclude that he was trying to avoid being asked questions about his impendin...

One Week After Declaring They Would Not Trade Otto Porter, The Wizards Trade Otto Porter For A Pile Of Trash
Almost exactly one week ago, Wizards owner Ted Leonsis mocked the very notion of his team trading any of John Wall, Bradley Beal, or Otto Porter, describing it as essentially a wacky, unworkable, and short-sighted fan theory....

Southern Miss Coach Defends Interviewing Art Briles By Saying It'd Be His Job To Report Rape Allegations Anyway<em></em>
Since getting fired in May 2016, disgraced former Baylor coach Art Briles has sought employment with the Houston Cougars, Lane Kiffin’s Florida Atlanta Owls, and the CFL’s Hamilton Tiger-Cats. He’s found varying degrees of success—even getting hired briefly by the Tiger-Cats—only for every courtship...