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Report: Jerry Jones Wants Secret Ballot Vote But Everyone Wants Him To Shut Up And Stop
Jerry Jones is fond of the secret ballot as an instrument of dealmaking, and today, he’s reportedly introduced it as the latest weapon in his siege against Roger Goodell and other NFL owners. According to Pro Football Talk, Jones wants to use this secret ballot to get the owners to vote on, well, so...
Opposing Goalkeepers Spend Game One-Upping Each Other's Tremendous Boners<em></em>
Saturday’s Sunderland vs. Millwall match finished 2-2, and all four goals were scored thanks to an array of increasingly mind-boggling goalkeeper boners that almost beggar belief. This is either the worst example of high-level goalkeeping ever, or an impressive display of just how shameless match-fi...
Look At (A Decent Impression Of) God
First look at God....
In Unloving Memory Of HawkVision, A Low Point In Sports Owner Shamelessness
The story of professional sports is, among other things, the story of cheap bastard owners doing cheap bastard things. Charlie Comiskey charged his White Sox players to launder their uniforms. Jeffrey Loria coldly auctioned off two World Series champions, sold the Marlins for more than a billion dol...
Warriors Endorse Jahlil Okafor's Quest For Freedom From The Sixers
Sixers center Jahlil Okafor is pretty much done in Philadelphia, as he’s played just 25 minutes this season and slipped behind Amir Johnson on the depth chart. Even though both parties should move on for their mutual benefit, the Sixers are holding Okafor hostage and hoping to trade him for somethin...
Javale McGee Ages Like A Fine Wine<em></em>
Keen eyes noted that McGee seems to be channeling the black mage from Final Fantasy....
English Eighth-Tier Player Scores First-Class Golazo
Danny Dubidat plays for Alvechurch FC, way down in the “Northern Premier League Division One South,” which is level eight on the massive English soccer pyramid. No matter where you are, though, anyone can get a shot at glory....
When You Jerk It Out
The things that sneak through at the end of 56-3 football games:...
All Of Roger Goodell's Dick-Swinging Did The Players A Favor
Again, there are many, many delicious morsels to chew on in Don Van Natta’s and Seth Wickersham’s latest smorgasbord of NFL insider delights for ESPN The Magazine. But let’s take the revelation that many owners—most especially Jerry Jones—are increasingly unhappy with the shadow bureaucracy Roger Go...
The Curtain Falls On The Mikes
Today was the final episode of Big Mike and Little Mike. Take a moment to remember them....
The Celtics Were Everywhere
After last night’s 92-88 win over the Warriors, the Celtics’ defensive rating is a suffocating 97.2. The last time we saw this team approach this level of defensive dominance was during the reign of the Big Three, when Boston won the 2007-08 championship with a defensive rating of 98.9....
The Case Against Roger Goodell
I know I sound like a broken record when I urge you to go read Don Van Natta Jr.’s and Seth Wickersham’s latest piece of thoroughly reported NFL kremlinology for ESPN, but: Go read it. All of it. There are a dozen different items and themes that warrant highlighting, and a few of them are going to g...
Jaylen Brown Helps Carry Celtics Over Warriors With Emotional Win After Death Of His Best Friend
Jaylen Brown helped lead the Celtics to a come-from-behind win over the Warriors tonight, the day after the death of his best friend. After he led the team in scoring with a 22-point effort, he gave an emotional press conference about deciding to play after the shock of learning last night that Trev...
Jerry Jones, NFL Owners Continue Vaguely Flexing Their Muscles At Each Other
We’re now a few weeks into Jerry Jones’s crusade to teach Roger Goodell a lesson about the limits of his power and, at this point in the exercise, that amounts to an aggrieved Jones staring across a bargaining table at a group of NFL owners who are getting progressively more fed up with his shit. Th...
Jared Goff's Audibles Include "Ric Flair" And "Tupac"
Rams QB Jared Goff was mic’d up during the team’s 33-7 win over the Houston Texans on Sunday, which allowed everyone to learn some of L.A.’s audibles. Head coach Sean McVay and his coaches seem to have chosen a celebrity-heavy assortment. Here they are, courtesy of USA Today’s Cameron DaSilva:...
Kevin Durant Says Sleepiness Made Him Send Bad Tweets<em></em>
Kevin Durant, who might not be the NBA’s consensus best player but is widely regarded as the league’s No. 1 lame, might’ve put his embarrassing Twitter fiasco from this summer behind him after apologizing and weathering the storm of jokes. But he never addressed the crux of the issue, the thing that...
Artem Anisimov's Third-Period Hat Trick Was Just What The Blackhawks Needed
Artem Anisimov is in his ninth season in the NHL and he has, apparently, not been thinking about this moment. After scoring his first career hat trick, all in the third period and all crucial for a 6-3 Blackhawks win over the Rangers, the 29-year-old center was asked what he was going to do with the...
Report: NFL Owners Have Discussed How To Kick Out Jerry Jones
An update on the current petty infighting among the NFL’s most powerful men, courtesy of the Wall Street Journal: multiple team owners have reportedly discussed the possibility of removing Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones over his recent threat to sue the league, part of his attempt to block a contr...
Donald Trump Jr. Is Good At Weightlifting And Should Lift Even More
Over the weekend, first child and fitness guru Donald Trump Jr. posted a video of himself deadlifting 375 pounds in his socks....
Ezekiel Elliott, Who Was Suspended, Un-Suspended, Suspended, Un-Suspended, Suspended, Un-Suspended, And Suspended Again Accepts Suspension<em></em>
As his agents announced this afternoon, the interminable saga of Ezekiel Elliott’s quantum suspension has finally come to a close....