go Page 446 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

It Took Stephen Curry Four Minutes To Do Something Incredible Against The Spurs

Tonight’s intensely-anticipated Spurs-Warriors matchup is going Golden State’s way, and in a big way, early. Leading the charge, expectedly, is the MVP Stephen Curry. He’s singlehandedly making us jaded to his own highlights....

Young Child Who Gets The Living God Nutmegged Out Of Him Must Now Quit, Learn Viola

Generally speaking, youth sports are about fun and fitness and finding a bit of self-worth in a big, strange world, and perhaps—perhaps—discovering an activity that makes you Feel Something. But generally speaking—generally speaking—the stakes ain’t that high, and they’re not supposed to be....

The (Golden) Eagle Has Landed (In Tampa)

Monken turned the program around after they went from 12-2 to 0-12 in one season. Bummer for Southern Miss....

Ángel Di María Hammers Home Long-Range Volley

We can’t imagine PSG’s Ángel di María heard about Dele Alli’s wondergoal earlier today, but if he did this is a fitting response. Dare we say di María learned it from Zlatan?...

Dele Alli Wondergoal Puts Spurs Up 2-1 On Crystal Palace

Is this the goal of the season? It might be, as Dele Alli scored an absolutely incredible golazo that has us searching for words....

Messi The Magician Gives Barça The Lead With Gorgeous Volley

Barcelona found themselves in a real battle today at Málaga, but it was the hero himself, Lionel Messi, who once again came through in the clutch as the Argentine brought Ray Hudson to yet another orgasmic climax with an unstoppable volley....

Stephen Curry Is A Fictional Character From Planet X

One of baseball’s last remaining virtues is that the maxim “Watch any baseball game, and you’ll see something you’ve never seen before” is generally true. We think it’s about time that rule be applied to any time Steph Curry is on a basketball court... or off it....

The Man Who Was Vigo The Carpathian Gets A Compelling Mini-Documentary

No Small Parts, a fan-made documentary series about character actors, has produced this lovely piece on Norbert Grupe, aka Prince Wilhelm von Homburg, aka Vigo the Carpathian, aka one of the biggest assholes there was. It’s based off of Shaun Raviv’s piece on Grupe that we published in October, and ...

Not Even A Fancy Studio Band Can Make Your Sexts Sound Appealing

This truly remarkable song claims to derive its lyrics from “word for word consensual texts sent to a young woman by frat guys.” Enjoy....

You Don’t Scare Me, Snow

By now, you are probably aware that the East Coast is about to get murdered with 50 tons of acid methane snow over the weekend. You know this because people who live on the East Coast believe that their weather is EVERYONE’S weather....

Here's Michael Jordan Gossip That We Desperately Want To Believe

This week, a day after former Chicago Bulls assistant coach Johnny Bach died at 91, we got an email. A friend of a friend had sent the tipster a summary of a 2011 dinner with Bach. It was filled with all sorts of fun anecdotes about Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, Jerry Krause, and more characters o...

Just Three European NBA Players, Making Jokes And Burning Hassan Whiteside

Jazz center and large Frenchman Rudy Gobert sent a semi-hot, cryptic tweet two days ago:...

ESPN Screwup: "Umm... I Think I... Yeah, Something Happened There."

We all make mistakes. Here’s one that popped up on everyone’s favorite website espn.go.com tonight, as a basic video of Celtics-Raptors highlights inadvertently included an earlier, aborted take. Is it Friday yet? Guffaw! Mr. Go won’t be happy. ...

Report: NFL Relocation Vote Was Swung By The Introduction Of Secret Ballots

The MMQB’s Peter King has a thorough tick-tock on how NFL owners eventually settled on voting to approve St. Louis Rams owner Stan Kroenke’s proposal to move his team to Inglewood, Calif. There aren’t any real bombshell revelations in King’s story, but it does bring to light a key turning point in t...

We Have A New Favorite Soccer Player

Steph Curry Is Rude As Hell

Steph Curry and the Warriors beat some ass against the Cavaliers last night. Curry scored 35 points in the laugher despite not playing the fourth quarter, but he had plenty of time to toy with the Cavs before taking a rest....

Dog Fugitives Lead Cops On Freeway Chase

A televised police chase in Long Beach didn’t come to the peaceful ending police might have expected following a successful PIT maneuver as the suspect’s car spilled a pack of dogs as the driver exited it to surrender. She was quickly taken into custody; the dogs were a bit more elusive to capture....

All That's Left Is For The Warriors And Spurs To Rumble

The Cleveland Cavaliers screwed the goddamn pooch. They dropped the ball. They shit the bed. They crashed and burned. They were on the ass-end of a trainwreck. They blew it....

Oregon State Forward Suspended At Least Four Games For Tripping Ref

Oregon State suspended forward Jarmal Reid a “minimum” of four games, after he tripped referee Tommy Nunez during Sunday night’s game against Utah. Reid appeared to be frustrated with a no-call after he was knocked to the floor by Utah center Jakob Poeltl, and retaliated by sticking out his leg and ...

Hockey Player Burns Girlfriend's Love Letters, Loses Control Of Fire, Calls 911 [Update]

When firefighters responded to a call at Justin Agosta’s apartment on Dec. 30, the Florida Everblades player told them he started the fire after burning his girlfriend’s love letters, according to a report on the Naples Daily News....