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Dog Hockey Is The Best Hockey
There are no Canadian hockey teams in this year’s NHL playoffs, and I’m sure a lot of Canadian hockey fans are very sad about that. The good news is that I have a special message for my bummed-out friends in the north:...
The Warriors Are Ready For The Regular Season To End
After a 124-117 overtime loss to the Timberwolves, the Golden State Warriors have lost two out of their last three, and looked rough getting there. They turned the ball over a season-high 24 times, saw Minnesota attempt 28 more free throws, and allowed the T-Wolves enough open looks that they shot a...
Giancarlo Stanton Sent This Justin Verlander Pitch To Goddamn Mars
Justin Verlander didn’t allow a hit through five innings to the Miami Marlins this evening, but once Miami woke up (presumably because Barry Bonds dispensed a few pieces of sage wisdom), they really started hitting the dogpiss out of the ball. ...
Get Some Onion Goggles, Ya Babies
The quickest way to improve your cooking—besides throwing a stick of butter into everything—is to throw onions into everything. Onions work with every cuisine, they’re versatile, and they taste amazing. However much onion a recipe calls for should be doubled, at least, no matter the recipe....
Read The Laughable Lawsuit Patriots Fans Filed Against The NFL Over Ball-Deflation Punishment
It is a pleasant surprise that this lawsuit, filed today by New England Patriots fans against the NFL, is not scrawled in crayon on the back of a Papa Gino’s placemat, or smeared in shit on the wall of a truck-stop bathroom. But then you read it, and it might as well be: it accuses the NFL, in punis...
Check Out These Videos Of Nova Fans Losing Their Shit At Kris Jenkins's Buzzer-Beater
For some reason, fans decide to film their reactions and the reactions of those around them in potentially thrilling and decisive sports moments. This is maybe not the best way to be a fan, but it does provide us with a great treasure trove of fans ripping their jerseys off and getting consoled by t...
Check Out The Absurd Backheel Volley This French Guy Scored
Boy, do these dudes in France’s lower tiers know how to score wondergoals. After last week’s backheel-to-overhead kick golazo, we now have Jordan Blondel upping the stakes by sizing up a long ball from his own half, and while backpedaling towards goal, kicking the ball in with his heel. From outside...
Gonzalo Higuaín Loses His Mind After Getting Red Card
I’m getting the feeling that Gonzalo Higuaín didn’t exactly agree with this referee’s decision. Though maybe shoving everyone on the pitch—including many of his own teammates—is just how he expresses internal disappointment....
A Brief Guide To The Panama Papers
A big, bold news story, speaking truth to power. You feel compelled to pay attention, but also feel your eyes glazing over trying to process it all. In terms of sheer scale, the Panama Papers leak is a lot to digest, even for professional news digesters. So a summary for the lazy: the politically po...
Mike Francesa Forced To Order Wrestlemania For His Sons, Remains Crestfallen
Mike Francesa has two sons: Jack and the dreaded Harrison. This is the story of how they manipulated him into ordering last night’s Wrestlemania on pay-per-view:...
Finland's Brilliant Baby Boxes Are Finally Coming To Countries That Need Them, Like Ours
Having a new baby sounds, to put it lightly, terrifying. I imagine this is especially true at first, when particularly helpless infants are sent home with necessarily inexperienced parents. Baby-wise friends and family members can help, but it’s still pretty dangerous to put a total neophyte—like yo...
Steph Curry Is Some Kind Of Jedi Or Wizard Or Some Shit
At this point, there’s really nothing Steph Curry can do on the court that would genuinely shock anyone. Perhaps aware of this fact, Curry turned last night’s postgame interview into a highlight of its own....
The Silicon Valley Guys Who Turned Around The Warriors Don't Believe In Their Ridiculous Luck
Friday night, in the third quarter of a home game against the Boston Celtics, Steph Curry started throwing up threes with no more trouble than a drunk trying to fall onto a sofa. Six for six he was, the kind of eruption that literally changes the dimensions of the game: He buried one trey from just ...
Franck Ribéry Overhead Kick Shows The Frenchman's Still Got It
It’s quite a morning for stunning goals by French legends, as Franck Ribéry scored his second goal of the Bundesliga season on an incredible overhead kick off the rebound from Frankfurt keeper Lucas Hradecky....
What Happens When Sports Fans Know As Much Gossip As Sportswriters?
Last week, celebrity gossip website Fameolous posted a video that it said showed Los Angeles Laker Nick Young admitting to cheating on his fiancée, pop star Iggy Azalea. It further claimed that the video was recorded by Young’s teammate, D’Angelo Russell....
Dimitri Payet Is On A Roll
West Ham United took a 2-1 lead against Crystal Palace into the intermission after a Dimitri Payet free kick that rendered Wayne Hennessey completely useless. Payet’s been on fire of late; he had an even more sick free kick earlier this week against Russia....
At Least Man City Is Giving Bournemouth Supporters Something Interesting To Watch
Poor AFC Bournemouth. For those of us who hitched our stars to the Cherries before this season instead of, uh, Leicester, it’s been less-than-fun. (Not awful, mind you; being clear of relegation is nice.) At least supporters get to see some fun soccer from the opponents, as displayed today when Manc...
Tiger Woods To Miss Masters, Again
Tiger Woods will be absent from Augusta National again as the four-time winner is simply too injured to compete, he announced tonight on his website. Let’s remember better times for Tiger:...
The Portland Jail Blazers: An Appreciation
Honey, you can’t make it to the top without at some point scraping the cold, hard bottom. For the Portland Trail Blazers, their highest high (not a pun) came during the 1999-2000 NBA season, which they rode all the way to the Western Conference finals for the second year in a row, and almost made it...