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Every NCAA Infraction Should Be Legal
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re covering drones, urinals, daily fantasy, and more....

So We Got Suspended From Twitter
In case you missed it, Twitter suspended the @Deadspin account last night in what was, inarguably, THE WORST REPRESSION OF FREE SPEECH IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND. Why were we suspended? What shadowy forces at BIG TWEET were conspiring against us? And why are we stupid enough to put the fate of our tr...

USA! USA! We're Not As Fast As We Used To Be!
Sunday’s Chicago Marathon was a big, happy day for Americans. ...

Philip Rivers Gets Pumped About Touchdown, Punches His Glove
When Philip Rivers threw his second touchdown pass in Monday night’s game against the Steelers, ESPN’s cameras caught him punching something out of midair. Some people thought it was a bird, but it was just his glove. That’s still a weird routine, but not nearly as violent....

Klay Thompson's Girlfriend Seems To Have Called Him Out For Cheating
Warriors shooting guard Klay Thompson has been dating internet-famous model Hannah Stocking. But that relationship might be over now, based on a few now-deleted tweets that Stocking sent....

The Cubs Socked Six Dingers Last Night! Man! <i>Six!</i>
Hot dang! Six! That’s how many taters the Chicago Cubs mashed off the St. Louis Cardinals’ butt pitchers yesterday evening. That’s a postseason record, and it has the Cubs one win from the NLCS....

The Steelers Mysteriously Lost 18 Seconds On Their Final Drive
As a reasonable person who wants sports to be fair and knows they wouldn’t exist otherwise, I’m so glad the Steelers didn’t lose the game because of 18 seconds that mysteriously disappeared from the clock before their game-winning drive. As a fan of drama and controversy, I wish the Steelers had got...

The Steelers' Final Play Was So Ballsy
It’s a great play call because it worked. If it had backfired, running off the remaining five seconds and being stopped shy of the goal line, the Steelers get blasted this morning for a terrible play call. Those value judgments are subjective, and dependent upon the outcome. All that can be said obj...

Mike Francesa Brings Crying Mets Fan Back On Show, Surprises Him With Ticket To Game
Sunday morning, a Mets fan known as Will from Queens called into the show, and got himself so worked up about the Mets’ postseason chances that he cried. Mike Francesa brought him back on the show today and surprised him with a ticket to tonight’s game. Will sounded like he was going to cry, again....

Getting Mad At Greg Hardy Is The Easy Part
Ray Rice made it easy for us. Here was a running back whose performance was already trending down, took a plea deal, and followed the preferred script about begging for forgiveness. When he returned from his suspension looking for work, it was easy for teams to say no. Rice probably was going to be ...

Freddy Adu Is Still Alive, Actually Playing Some Pretty Good Soccer
The last time we heard from the young man—despite being (in)famous for over a decade, can you believe he’s still only 26?—formerly known as The Next Pelé, Freddy Adu had flopped out of Finland’s league and was spending his considerable free time on the nightclub hosting circuit. But Adu did make it ...

410-Pound Baylor Tight End Has Great Moves, Catches Touchdown Pass
LaQuan McGowan is a 6’7”, 410 pound tight end for Baylor. That’s impressive enough, but consider the move he puts on a Kansas defender here to find the end zone and give the Bears a 38-7 second quarter lead....

Timofey Mozgov Is Still Really Good At Local Commercials
Timofey Mozgov has already produced a body of work that would secure him a spot in the Athlete Local Commercial Hall Of Fame, if such a thing existed. Which is to say that Mozgov didn’t need to cut this spot for Sky Zone in order to prove his greatness, but he did it anyway, because that’s what lege...

Matt Barnes Claims He Went To Estranged Wife's House Because He Was Worried About His Son
Today, Matt Barnes attempted to clarify his version of his uninvited weekend trip to estranged wife Gloria Govan’s home, where he allegedly fought former Lakers teammate and current Knicks head coach Derek Fisher. The 35-year-old claimed he drove to Redondo Beach after talking to his 6-year-old son,...

The Rangers Were Annoyed That The Blackhawks' Banner Ceremony Took So Long
The Blackhawks went all out to commemorate the start of their championship defense—and why not? How often do you win a Cup? But last night’s ceremony went on forever. There was a red carpet walk. Every player got an introduction. Videos played. The Stanley Cup came out. Gary Bettman was booed. Final...

I Hope The Cubs And Pirates Hate Each Other Now
A day after the Astros advanced with a pitching performance as boring as it was dominating, the Cubs and Pirates figured out how to up the entertainment value even as Jake Arrieta shut Pittsburgh down: a fight!...

Kyle Schwarber Crushes Two-Run Homer Into The Allegheny
The Cubs were at it early in their Wild Card game against the Pirates, causing all sorts of trouble for Gerrit Cole. The biggest swing belonged to Cubs right fielder Kyle Schwarber, who absolutely destroyed Cole’s third inning pitch for a two-run homer. ...

The Daily Fantasy Nightmare Is Here Because The NFL Made It So
This has been the season of daily fantasy. Yes, it was always there, but this year, the biggest players—FanDuel and DraftKings—have gone all in, buying up seemingly every possible piece of ad space available in sports media. There they are, sponsoring one of the biggest fantasy writers. There they a...
