go Page 555 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Dickgoal Attempt Fails As Péguy Luyindula Ends Up With Nothing But Pain
You can use a lot of body parts to score a goal: your feet, your knees, your head, et cetera. You can also try using your dick, but it's not likely to turn out very well....
Estonian Soccer Team Plays Human Bowling For Goal Celebration
Nomme Kalju's Hidetoshi Wakui scored a wholly unremarkable goal on Saturday, but made up for it with a winning celebration. Wakui scored the first goal of the Tallinn derby against F.C. Flora, picked up the ball, and immediately began choreographing the bowling pin celebration. It did not disappoin...
Pantsless Degenerate Spotted In Airport
Thoughts and prayers to the poor soul standing behind him at security when he bends down to take his shoes off. ...
Wayne Rooney Scores Goal From 50 Yards Away
Wayne Rooney opened the scoring for Manchester United today with a long-range bomb reminiscent of Luis Suarez's goal for Liverpool two years ago, a 50-yard volley that left NBC's announcers almost at a loss for words. We're sure Rooney's West Ham opponents had a few, though....
Hockey Fight Erupts In, And Around, The Benches
(Update: this is from last year, our bad.) Lost in the madness of March was this little gem from the AHL this week. A fight between the Rockford Ice Hogs and Chicago Wolves, in the final seconds of a 2-1 Hogs win, broke out basically in the Rockford bench and spread to surrounding area. ...
CBS Announcer Andrew Catalon Drops "Polack" On Gonzaga Player
Gonzaga's Przemek Karnowski is from Poland. Late in the Bulldogs' 8-9 matchup with Oklahoma State today, he got fouled several times. CBS announcer Andrew Catalon decided to dub the Cowboys' strategy "Hack-A-Polack."...
The Brewers Are Selling Awful Novelty Shirts
It's hard to put into words the feelings this Carlos Gomez collage stirs. Mostly, I feel shame, embarrassment, and a little anger. And sadness. Shame, embarrassment, anger, and sadness. We can probably include confusion, too. Shame, embarrassment, anger, sadness, and confusion. I feel these things f...
SDSU's Coach Rants Against The NCAA In Postgame Presser
Before his team faced off against New Mexico State at 8:03 local time last night, San Diego State head coach Steve Fisher was told by the NCAA that the losing team would need to leave Spokane, Wash., and head home immediately after the game. By Fisher's calculations, that would have put his team at...
Bystander Videobombs Local News Report By Fondling His Gut
Remember the Truffle Shuffle? Of course you do. Here's a bystander on KTLA in Los Angeles trying to do it behind reporter Doug Kolk, who was in Hollywood tonight covering the premiere of a film about Cesar Chavez....
NMSU Forces Overtime With Long-Range Three After SDSU Turnover
A wild night of overtimes got longer after New Mexico State scored five points in the final 15 seconds to force overtime against San Diego State....
Ottawa's Ales Hemsky Scores One Of The Best Goals Of The Season
Ottawa Senators trade-deadline acquisition Ales Hemsky scored a beauty of a goal in tonight's game against the Lightning. The move is lovely, but the goal in its entirety is better....
High Schooler Shot In Leg, Hits Playoff Game-Winner Days Later
Chicago high school senior Tyquone Greer wasn't sure he could even play basketball again after a bullet went completely through his leg at a neighborhood party last week. But only nine days later, Greer sank the game-winning shot for Orr Academy High School (Ill.) over North Chicago....
Andrea Pirlo Just Scored Another Incredible Free Kick Goal
This is Juventus's Andrea Pirlo. He's 100 years old, and, aside from the greatest flowing mane of hair to ever grace a human's head, looks older than that. No one has seen him move in earnest in six or seven years, but he scores stunning free kicks all the time. This is one of those times. ...
Josh Smith Gets Mozgov'd By Mozgov, Wants To Quit Life
For once, Timofey Mozgov was the one throwing a forearm into some poor schmuck's face before cramming one on his head, and it was good. As for Josh Smith, well, that's the unmistakable reaction of a man who is on a 25-win team and has just about had it with this bullshit....
Michael Carter-Williams Travels, Remembers He's On The 76ers
The 76ers were down two possessions with 16 seconds left against the Bulls. Barring a huge screwup, Philadelphia wasn't pulling out the win. Regardless, Michael Carter-Williams still tried to score quickly, until he was called for traveling. After the turnover, his body language said fuck everything...
Former Marquette Basketball Player Now Has A Balloon Gift Box Business
Dominic James had a nice four-year career for Marquette's men's basketball team from 2005-2009, playing overseas for a bit after graduating. But these days, he's running a balloon business with his wife. It's quite the career change....
Browns WR Josh Gordon Has A Gigantic, Elaborate Back Tattoo
Koi. A geisha. His jersey number. Josh Gordon's tremendous back tattoo has all that, and more!...
This Fluke Backheel Goal From 35 Yards Out Is Just Hilarious
While you MLS truthers and Eurosnobs were watching soccer last weekend, this absolute gem of a goal happened in the Jordan Premier League. ...
Lorde Live-Tweeting A Bulls Game Is Pretty Weird
Lorde has a weird intersection with the sports world it seems. Earlier, we learned an old photograph of George Brett inspired her song "Royals" and tonight she is at a Bulls game live-tweeting the action. She's basically just observing what is happening around her but when you take a step back and l...