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More Illustrated NFL Playbook Fun
When we did the Bills edition of Why Your Team Sucks, reader Matt E. sent in a phony drawing of the team's playbook that was so awesome, we asked him to do a few more of them. Here now are the playbooks of five more NFL teams, as designed by Matt:...

Sammy Sosa Is A Terrifying Vampire
We haven't seen much of Sammy Sosa ever since he created the greatest Pinterest page in history. From the looks of this picture, he has returned to feast on all of our souls....

Chargers Greet Fans At Stadium With Big Ol' Typo
Via For the Win, this was a sign outside Qualcomm Stadium last night. Coughing up a three-touchdown lead in the second half wasn't the only weclome the Chargers would extend to their fans....

The NFL Keeps Sowing Confusion Over What Constitutes An Illegal Hit
The headline on PFT was posted in the wee hours Monday morning. It reads "League quietly shifts focus of helmet-to-helmet hits." Here's Florio:...

Golf Course's 9/11 Discount Promotion Goes Real Bad, Real Fast
Wednesday is the 12th anniversary of the day terrorists crashed two planes into the World Trade Center, another into the Pentagon and yet another was downed in a field in Pennsylvania. All told, close to 3,000 people died. Nine holes for just $9.11! 18 for $19.11, which barely makes sense, but it's ...

Miguel Cabrera Ejected Mid-At-Bat In First Inning
This is ridiculous. Whatever your thoughts on decorum in baseball or whatever, one of the games best players should not be getting thrown out of the game in the first inning. Maybe if he spit on the ump. Maybe. ...

Chinese Team Works Together On Slapstick Own Goal
Via Dirty Tackle, the saddest and funniest own goal we've seen in a long time....

Jair Benitez Scored An Amazing 50-Yard Goal
Jair Benitez of FC Dallas scored a ridiculous goal from 50 yards out against Vancouver Whitecaps FC Saturday night. It sailed perfectly over helpless keeper David Ousted for a 3-1 FC Dallas lead. Ousted understandably took the score poorly....

Nike Forced Schools To Return Gear That Needed More Swooshes
No controversy here, just a friendly reminder of who actually runs sports. More swooshes! We need more swooshes! People won't see the swooshes!...

The Scariest Man Alive Wears A Cardigan: A Day With Gennady Golovkin
Gennady Golovkin has what they call a moon face: Open, apple-cheeked, with wide lips and a toothy grin and a haircut that looks like a buzz cut that's been allowed to grow too long. Moon faces imply guilelessness. Such faces seem at home on simpletons. Less so on one of planet Earth's most feared hu...

Good Job, Everyone
Earlier: The Predators Just Earned Themselves A New Nickname...

The Predators Just Earned Themselves A New Nickname
In the finest tradition of the Atlanta Barves, Nashville's hockey team will henceforth be known by its new, self-bestowed typo nickname. Let us be among the first to say, "Go Perds!"...

Here Is @Vodka_Samm's .341 BAC Mug Shot
Samantha Goudie, the University of Iowa college student who had a wild, drunken Saturday at the Hawkeyes football game—to put it mildly—looks like the saddest Ke$ha ever in her mug shot photo....

You're All Right, Jack
The title is a riff on the Peter Sellers movie, I'm All Right, Jack. Now, check out Dan Jenkins on the 1975 Masters:...

Where Have You Gone, Mickey Mantle?
I'm in a taxi, trying to get to Yankee Stadium. I'm late and I've got my uniform on. But when I get there the guard won't let me in. He doesn't recognize me. So I find this hole in the fence and I'm trying to crawl through it, you know? But I can only get my head in. I can see Billy and White and Yo...

Two Men Caught Trying To Steal Ivy From Wrigley Field
It was the perfect heist: Go to Wrigley Field late at night, squeeze through the metal security bars, go through a window and snag some of the famed ivy from the outfield walls. They just forgot about the cameras, security and police....

Chargers Announcer Has Something To Say About "Richard Cunt"
Billy Ray Smith, the color commentator for Chargers preseason broadcasts on KFMB, made a reference last night to Richard Kent, a punter who was cut by San Diego on Sunday. Smith initially used the wrong vowel when pronouncing Kent's last name. His quick correction rolled right off his tongue....

What Becomes A Legend Most?
Ingrid Bergman, photographed above by Gordon Parks in 1949. She was born on this day in 1915 and died on this day in 1982....

The Chargers Worked Out On An Aircraft Carrier
The Chargers' event on the flight deck of the USS Ronald Reagan yesterday afternoon was only a practice in the loosest sense of the term: center Nick Hardwick and safety Eric Weddle took as many snaps as Philip Rivers....

Oregon State School Spirit Video Has Troubling Implications For Mascot
This is where we are with these school music video things: maybe they should stop. On its face, this one isn't even particularly awful—which in a way makes it worse—it just sort of exists as a note in the We Did Weird Stuff By The Time We Got To 2013 chapter of American history. Unless you are Benn...