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Here's A Woman Who Claims She's Dashon Goldson's Aunt Cursing And Screaming Incoherently On Live Television
Hat tip to ol' Diamond Joe on this one, from the NFC Championship Game postgame show today on KTTV, L.A.'s Fox affiliate. This segment was actually considerably longer than you see here, and includes several more minutes of ill-advised drunken fan interviews. But here's the best part: a woman clai...

Celebrating Goalkeeper Hops Around On Ass
People are weird. It explains almost everything that ever happens in the world, but sometimes words are not enough. Sometimes images hammer home the sentiment. Muteba Kidiaba, a goalkeeper for the DR Congo national team, is today's example....

"I Gotta Stop It, Your Son's Gonna Die": Fight Finally Called Because Gabriel Rosado Couldn't See Anything Through his Blood-Covered Face
Gennady Golovkin won in seven rounds last night after Gabriel Rosado's trainer was forced to throw in the towel. Golovkin was reportedly sick heading into the fight, but it did not seem to stop him....

Butler Beats Gonzaga Thanks To A Miraculous Final Four Seconds
After a traveling call ended what should have been Butler's last chance to overcome a one-point deficit at Hinkle Fieldhouse against eighth-ranked Gonzaga, a turnover with 3.5 seconds remaining led to an off-balance Roosevelt Jones shot that found the basket and delivered Butler's Bulldogs a 64-63...

Oregon Already Has A Job Listing For A New Head Coach
For some reason, Eagles fans are currently tracking new head coach Chip Kelly's flight from Eugene to Philadelphia. (I think because they saw college fans do it, and it looked fun.)...

Chip Kelly Is The New Coach Of The Philadelphia Eagles
Um, what? Remember last week, when Chip Kelly decided he would be staying at Oregon rather than jumping to the NFL after having been wined and dined by both the Cleveland Browns and Philadelphia Eagles? Well, forget all of that. ESPN's Chris Mortensen is reporting that Kelly has in fact decided to ...

Hockey's Back, But The Media Still Doesn't Know Who The Kings Are
It became a running joke last season, as the Kings cruised to a Stanley Cup, that the Los Angeles media couldn't quite grasp the concept of a hockey team. The Kings were misidentified in onscreen graphics, the players' names slaughtered by sportscasters, even their mascot mixed up with his NBA count...

Kevin Durant Dunks All Over Marcin Gortat Because Kevin Durant Is A Cheat Code
It's really not fair that Kevin Durant can do stuff like this. His uncanny combination of size and shooting touch would be enough to carry him to a Hall of Fame career on its own. But Durant also has to possess the kind of sublime speed, strength, and leaping ability that make face-melting plays l...

Taj Gibson Posterizes Anthony Tolliver; Stacey King Enjoys It Immensely
The dunk itself is pretty good, but Stacey King's reaction is even better. This is sort of a thing, I've learned, that King does so maybe you Chicagoans are yawning, but the rest of us can still enjoy his enthusiasm....

Doug Gottlieb Compares Tony Gonzalez Winning His First Playoff Game To A.C. Green Having Sex
That is an actual thing that happened today. No sensational headlines or tricks. Today, Doug Gottlieb had a train of thought the nuts and bolts of which went something like: "Hey, Tony Gonzalez finally won a playoff game. Wonder if it felt better to him than A.C. Green rubbing genitals with his wife...

Roger Goodell Thinks That Robert Griffin III Knee Injury Saga Played Out Just Fine
The problem with football players is that they they're born not wanting to act in their own best interests, especially with regards to their long-term health. That's why they play football. In theory, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell would be acting in his own best interest by acting in theirs—after ...

H, Y, and Z Are Your Money Letters: How To Beat Scrabble's Flawed Points System, Using Google-Powered Math
This week the director of research at Google, a fellow named Peter Norvig, published on his blog the results of a fascinating deep-dive into the English language. If you're at all interested in letter frequency or word frequency, you owe it to yourself to at least skim Norvig's post. Essentially the...

Which Member Of The 2005 White Sox Is Selling His World Series Ring On eBay?
Your clues, from the listing:...

Taste Test: The Portable Yogurt That Isn't
Go-Gurt's charmingly daft, hilariously unappetizing name implies its creation myth: the notion that, out there in the world, there were consumers who liked feeding their kids delicious, nutritious yogurt, but were frustrated by its cripplingly immobile nature—"I need a portable, on-the-go yogurt!" ...

Shooting Blanks: <em>Gangster Squad</em>, Reviewed.
If a group of 12-year-old boys wanted to make a movie in their backyard, there's a good chance it might end up something like Gangster Squad. Sure, it wouldn't have the flashy production design and big names, but it would definitely share the same adolescent mindset. With its tough talk and bang-ban...

Every Headline About Derrick Rose Is A Black Pit Of Sadness
Here’s a bunch of headlines—written during the past week—about Derrick Rose’s attempts to return to the basketball court that will make you really sad:...

Tiger Woods Wants $3 Million Just To Show Up For A Tournament
Tiger Woods, fully healthy, isn't waiting to kick off his 2013 schedule. Next week he's playing a European Tour event in Abu Dhabi, and the week after he'll be at Torrey Pines for his first PGA Tour stop. But if things had worked out a little differently—if Tiger's price wasn't too high even for a p...

Greg Oden Will Try Another Comeback, And The Heat Are Interested
Greg Oden is the NBA's Greek tragedy—a body outwardly designed for basketball dominance, but with an internal structure woefully insufficient for the task. Oden hasn't played since his patella attempted to escape in 2009, and underwent his third microfracture surgery on his knees in February. He's b...

Jamaal Franklin Goes Off The Backboard At Full Speed For This Dunk Of The Year Candidate
Will any other dunk during the 2012-13 college basketball season eclipse this insane moment of instinct, confidence, and sheer ballsiness? The correct response, almost assuredly, is "no." And by the eighth or ninth time you watch this, check out the Fresno State players' heads turn in every concei...
![Annika Sorenstam Accidentally Cut Off The Tip Of Her Finger, Then Tweeted The Aftermath [WARNING: GAH!]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18b02xm2vl5zkjpg.jpg)
Annika Sorenstam Accidentally Cut Off The Tip Of Her Finger, Then Tweeted The Aftermath [WARNING: GAH!]
Former LPGA star Annika Sorenstam might be enjoying retirement from competitive golf, but she apparently still has a problem slicing. Yesterday, Sorenstam tweeted a photo of her stitched-up left index finger, which USA Today says she cut last Thursday while slicing chicken as she prepared dinner for...