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![Two University of Texas Football Players Accused Of Sexually Assaulting A Woman [UPDATED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/189rcmh1flnzpjpg.jpg)
Two University of Texas Football Players Accused Of Sexually Assaulting A Woman [UPDATED]
The players have neither been arrested nor charged with a crime, and police have not released their names. An investigation is taking place, but here are the details from KENS in San Antonio, where the Longhorns are staying as they prepare for Saturday's Alamo Bowl game against Oregon State:...

"In The Oil Business, We Call It A Dry Hole": Angry Letters Boosters Send The AD When The Football Team Goes 0-12
We've examined the difficulties faced by first-year athletic director Jeff Hammond, who inherited a multi-million-dollar budget deficit when he took over at Southern Miss. Complicating matters was the performance of the team, which went 0-12 under new head coach Ellis Johnson. Johnson had been hired...

Cash-Strapped Southern Miss Tries To Wring More Money Out Of Its Schedule, Considers Canceling BYU Series
Last month, we took a look at the University of Southern Mississippi football program and its athletic director, Jeff Hammond, who a year ago inherited a coach he never wanted and a multi-million-dollar athletic department deficit he had to fix. Last month, he addressed the former by firing coach El...

This Might Be The New Dolphins Logo
It never did make sense that the Miami logo showed a dolphin wearing a football helmet, when a dolphin is the one NFL mascot that would be suffocated by wearing a helmet. But as part of a rebranding effort to leave behind years upon years of losing—Gloria Estefan! Stadium renovations!—the Dolphins w...

Andruw Jones Charged With Battery After Alleged Domestic Dispute
There aren't many specific details yet known, but the AP is reporting that former major leaguer Andruw Jones started his Christmas Day in jail after he was arrested on a battery charge early this morning in the Atlanta suburb of Duluth. Seems police were called to respond to a domestic dispute betwe...

The Sports Video Games Of The Year
Rarely considered for overall video-game-of-the-year honors, the uncommon diversity of sports video games, and the unique demands placed on them to recreate both a real-world sport and the real-life experiences associated with it, support their own class of awards more than any other genre. These ar...
!["Hallelujah, Holy Shit! Where's The Tylenol?": Your Sunday NFL GIF Roundup [Updated]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1899jl1oxhk5ugif.gif)
"Hallelujah, Holy Shit! Where's The Tylenol?": Your Sunday NFL GIF Roundup [Updated]
We'll be putting all our GIFs for the day here, from London Fletcher losing his lunch to sad Tom Brady. We'll update the post as the later games conclude, so stay tuned. ...

The Raiders Cost Oakland 200 Police Officers In A Startlingly Direct Way
We looked at the steady increase in taxpayer-funded stadium construction recently, and Sports on Earth wrote about what they term "sports welfare"—this week, Bloomberg explained a combination of those phenomena, and a notably clear example of the way sports franchises can factor into the zero-sum ga...

Carlton Fisk's Home Robbed Of Thousands Of Dollars In Collectible Coins; Carlton Fisk Had Thousands Of Dollars Worth Of Collectible Coins
Burglars broke into Carlton Fisk's home in Manatee, FL yesterday, according to a lengthy report in the Sarasota Herald-Tribune. Despite the presence of valuable baseball memorabilia and, presumably, electronics, jewelry and other frequently pilfered items, the burglars took only one thing:...

Forbes's 2012 List Of The Most Valuable Teams In College Football Reads A Lot Like The 1936 AP Poll
Forbes's latest best guess at the most valuable college football programs is out, and if you're a Texas fan, congratulations: Your slavering devotion to the Death Star of the Big 12 has paid off once again. You're number one! Granted, you're in the "also receiving votes" category in the AP's poll of...

It's That Time Again: Ray Hudson Freaks Out About Another Messi Goal
Lest you think Barcelona's Lionel Messi would relax after breaking Gerd Müller's goals-in-a-year record (a record now disputed) it seems the Barça magician has found inspiration in being denied his home nation's honors as athlete of the year. Today at Valladolid, Messi pulled out some tricks from ...

The Bulls-Knicks Game Went To Complete Shit Last Night, And Produced This Beautiful GIF Of A Dismayed Spike Lee
When you're not particularly used to losing, any downturn in your fortunes seems like it must be the result of some malevolent scheme from outsiders that bear you ill will. Such was the case for the Knicks last night when they fell down big in an ugly game against the Bulls and decided they didn't ...

Bears Say Fans Need To Chill Out
After getting jeered out of the building Sunday, Brian Urlacher spoke for presumably more than a few of his teammates. "The only team in our division that gets booed at home is us," Urlacher said. "It's unbelievable to me."...

Meet Godfrey Chitalu, The Zambian Lionel Messi
Barça's Lionel Messi scored a lot of goals this year. 86 of them, apparently.* That's a record for a soccer player. Or is it? Zambia's Godfrey Chitalu—whose heyday as a player came in the late 1960s and 70s, before he began coaching in the 80s—may have scored 116 goals in 1972. On this week's excerp...

Oregon Football Boosters Are Mad That Chip Kelly Doesn't Hang Out With Them
The Chip Kelly era has brought the Oregon Ducks to two Rose Bowls and a BCS Championship Game in three seasons—and a Fiesta Bowl appearance this season—so it'd seem difficult to complain about the then-unknown New Hampshire offensive coordinator who took over a Pac-10 program. And yet, some of the ...

The Texans Will Build The NFL's Two Largest Video Screens
Houston is mighty proud of its stadiums. When the Astrodome, the world's first domed multipurpose stadium became obsolete, they built Reliant Stadium, which just completely dwarfed it. But Reliant, somehow, remains the only field in the NFL without a digital scoreboard. And up in Arlington, Jerry Jo...

Someone Threw A Sock Full Of Shit At A Woman In Chicago
The headline basically sums it up, but here's the disgusting rundown: A woman riding on a local transit train in Chicago was just minding her own business when a man, unprovoked, hurled a sock full of human feces at her and ran away. And you think your commute is crappy....

Phil Mickelson Won't Be A Padres Owner, Doesn't Have The Money Time
When the Padres were sold for $800 million, the new ownership group consisted of the family of former Dodgers owner Peter O'Malley, local businessman Ron Fowler, and, among others, hometown hero Phil Mickelson. Except, a weird thing happened. When the deal actually closed, Mickelson's name wasn't on...
![This Monster Eagle Almost Flew Away With A Little Kid [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
This Monster Eagle Almost Flew Away With A Little Kid [UPDATE]
Has anyone tried to warn us of the impending giant fucking eagle menace? Is this merely the first warning shot? We must be vigilant, or else the giant fucking eagles of the world will make off with all of our children. BUT ONLY IF WE LET THEM....

Quentin Tarantino, Slave To His Habits: <em>Django Unchained</em>, Reviewed
1. Django Unchained is giddily entertaining, powerful, confident filmmaking by a guy who keeps finding new tricks up his sleeve with every movie. It's a big, sprawling statement that throws everything at the wall and sees what sticks, which has always been one of the strengths of Quentin Tarantino, ...