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If Lenny Dykstra Asks You To Leave Somewhere And Go With Him, You Probably Shouldn't Do It
Giving Doc Gooden bad advice is like buying the Pope a crucifix: he's received more than his fair share over the years, and probably doesn't need any more. So we're glad he ignored Dykstra's efforts to bust him out of "Celebrity Rehab." [CBS]...

Here's Tim Thomas With The Best Save Of The Playoffs
That endorsement from hockey minds across Twitter tonight. Steve Downie, in a one-goal game, would probably agree....

Jose Canseco Tweets Obsession With Lady Gaga, But He Spurned Madonna, So...
Okay, I suppose there are a lot of things a little wrong with Jose Canseco's latest Twitter freakout, but there's a whole plane full of parallels we can't miss. And those parallels make this much more than the ramblings dribbling out of a disgraced slugger's Dorito-dusted fingers....

Ian Poulter's Path To Victory At The World Match Play Championship Included A Spill Down A Hill
Congratulations go out to Ian Poulter who "confirmed his reputation as one of golf's most indefatigable competitors on Sunday as he capped a succession of comeback wins at the Volvo World Match Play Championship in Spain with a yet another unlikely victory, over Luke Donald in the final."...

Here's An Innocent Picture of Golfer Paula Creamer That Looks Naughty When Viewed From Certain Angles
Tipster Jeff H. shares this image he snapped off his tellie of Paula Creamer and some guy from the Sybase Match Play Championship in Gladstone, NJ. His claim: "I hear they are looking for a ratings boost and more caddies." For her part, Creamer seems to be doing well....

A Streaker Did "A Floppy Dance" At Wrigley Field Sun Life Stadium During Last Night's Cubs Game
In the fifth inning of yesterday's Cubs/Marlins game, some dude decided to leave his clothes in the stands when he ran onto the field. Hey Chicago, whatdaya say, the Cubs ended up winning anyway....

This Is The Dunk That Made Reggie Miller Compare Udonis Haslem To Taj Gibson
Today in very recent historical comparisons, Reggie Miller gave credit to reincarnated Heat forward Udonis Haslem for his Gibsonesque slam. "I didn't know Taj Gibson was playing for Miami this game!" Miller said, in that characteristic lilt of his, all forced giddiness and wonderment. Perhaps TNT ...

And Here's Another Hockey Player Who Allegedly Threatened His Wife
Nikolay Zherdev, most recently of the Flyers, is in a spot of trouble today back in Russia. According to a report from a Russian newspaper, first brought to our attention by Broad Street Hockey and Crossing Broad, Zherdev was out to breakfast with his wife and friends yesterday when things turned ug...

More Misplaced Rhetoric From Pro Football Talk
De Smith says the NFL is the "first league in the history of sports that has ever sued to not play their game," which, like a lot of slogans, isn't entirely accurate (the NFL hasn't sued), even if it accurately conveys the sense that the NFL is taking great pains to get its lockout. Mike Florio has ...

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Wants A Statue, Damn It
Perhaps emboldened by Bill Russell and Jerry West finally receiving well-deserved statues, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is clamoring for an unmerited one of his own....

Now They're Making Fun Of Jay Cutler In The Wisconsin Senate Race
Poor Jay Cutler. Jay Cutler did not ask for any of this. He did not ask to be born with the most hangdoggery hangdog face of all time. He did not ask for you to question his toughness. And he did not ask to become the punchline in the Wisconsin Senate Race. But that is what has happened....

The Photo Of Taj Gibson's Dunk On Dwyane Wade Will Replace Bruce Lee Posters Across America
Via the NBA Photo Twitter feed, we present to you the posterization of Dwyane Wade (click here to see the full view), who is usually the one doing the posterizing. To his credit, Wade has been only complimentary and self-deprecating about the dunk that was seen 'round the American couches and barsto...

Everyone In Basketball Is Gay All Of A Sudden
The Outsports folks better ready their banner font: On the heels of Phoenix Suns president and CEO Rick Welts coming out in Sunday's New York Times, former Villanova basketball player Will Sheridan has come out to ESPN.com's Dana O'Neil. (The same ESPN.com, it's worth noting, that employs "bible-bel...

This Is The Only Woman In The World Who Knows What It's Like To Get Caught Between Two Tim Tebows In Her Underwear
Your morning roundup for May 16, the day that Hickey got his edits from Lady Gaga. Tebow photo via @Lisa_Altobelli, who has the full shot....

Here's The Taj Gibson Dunk That Inspired Reggie Miller To Quote Martin Luther King On Air
The Bulls beat the Heat by 21 points at home in Game 1 of the Eastern Conference finals this evening. Taj Gibson, who finished with nine points and seven boards off the bench for Chicago, had the two best dunks of the game. The first left Reggie Miller speechless, and presumably on top of Steve Ke...

Evan Longoria Didn't Really Make This Life-Saving Catch
If you're willing to believe this video is real, "Gillette Young Gun" Evan Longoria of the Tampa Bay Rays saved a lady reporter from getting her brains knocked out of her right ear, with four perfectly framed "Gillette" signs in the background. But you don't believe this video is real, do you? Goo...

This Was A Funny Way For Doc Gooden To Confirm That He Is Really On Twitter
For all you doubters out there, it's true: Dwight "Doc" Gooden, the former Mets pitcher and Cy Young Winner who is headed to Celebrity Rehab, is officially on Twitter. His account, @DocGooden16, has not yet received a crucial "verified" check, but after today, we think Twitter should replace that ma...

Your Daily Update About Horrible Scottish-Soccer Fans
Remember yesterday when a Heart of Midlothian fan wearing a Yankees hat decided to take a running swing at Celtic manager Neil Lennon?...

Worst Golf Swings: "Not Shaq's Next Career" Edition
This might be the end of the line for Shaquille O'Neal's NBA career (related: remember when he could do this?), but I'm sure he'll pop up here and there on TV in various law enforcement raids or celebrity golf tournaments. If you come across the latter, stick with it....

The Bizarre Cult Of Pro-Owner NFL Fanboys
Here's a tidy summation of how we've managed to get to where we are with the NFL lockout. A few years ago, the players and owners agreed to a new CBA, with only Ralph Wilson and Mike Brown voting against the agreement, in Wilson's case because he's old and easily confused by things....