go Page 696 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Philadelphia Soccer Dresses Like Philadelphia Hockey
The Philadelphia Union wore Flyers inspired jerseys and lost to the Chicago Fire 2-1. Lookin' good boys! [700 Level]...

Would You Like To Read Rich Eisen's Flirty Emails?
If anyone still remembers the "Sexy Newslady Sends Bikini Photos To Rich Eisen" saga, some emails between Eisen and Alycia Lane have been revealed in court. They're pretty tame, but remember, he was married and old people are boring. [NYDailyNews]...

Oh, Good. Philadelphia Is Back
Vice-President Joe Biden takes in Game 4 of the Stanley Cup Finals, along with a plastic mold of what appears to be his own head, as Philadelphia claws its way back to a 2-2 series tie. Never surrender....

Introducing Charles Clinton: The Worst Sideline Reporter Ever (UPDATE)
Charlie Clinton is the sideline reporter for University of Michigan hockey games, guys. He's actually fairly knowledgeable about the sport, but his delivery is just a little awkward, guys. Needless to say, Brian Collins has some competition, guys. H/T Landon, guys....

Today In "Bryce Harper Is A No-Good Hothead"
Bryce Harper is good at baseball and he knows it. He has a reputation as a bit of a whippersnapper, though, and after getting ejected last night for making a gesture at an ump, that rep will continue to grow....

The King Of The Ferret Leggers: The Classic Tale Of Sportsmen Who Put Carnivores Down Their Pants
In his new book, Rick Reilly writes at length about ferret legging, a bloody endurance competition wherein the athlete stuffs a ferret down his pants. In 1987, Outside's Donald Katz wrote the first, and still the best, ferret-legging account. Here it is....

Blackhawk Fans Do Not Handle Rejection Well
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Don't Be Afraid To Talk About Hockey
Will the Flyers make this a series or humbly submit to the overwhelming power of Antti Niemi? Would you rather see Philly humiliated or Chicago twisting in the wind? A tough call, but try to focus on the hockey. [AP]...

World Cup Dis Track Is Our Generation's Lexington And Concord
"Over There" has been something of an unofficial theme song for our World Cup squad. No longer, now that this exists. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you: "I Speak American."...

Relive The 1966 World Cup Final With The Magic Of Lego
The mad Germans at Legofussball.com have recreated in Lego the last time — SPOILERS — England won a World Cup. Ooh, do the Falklands War next! [Legofussball, via The Guardian]...

Chicago Monument Desecration Continues Unabated
A 2-0 lead in the Stanley Cup Finals has made the Blackhawks fans/statue vandals in Chicago drunk with power. They've moved on from a statue of a beloved sports icon to a statue of...something by Pablo Picasso. H/T Nick....

Last Night's Winner: Philadelphia Flailers
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Chicago Blackhawks, who seriously got under Philly's skin, as evidenced by Dan Carcillo launching himself at anything that moves, and Chris Pronger literally throwing in the towel....

Chicago Faces Epidemic Of Jersey-Wearing Statues
It is official: Chicago is a hockey town. If the Michael Jordan statue is wearing Hawks threads, it's only a matter of time before Mayor Daley is mispronouncing players' names and crudely dyeing the city's fountain waters red. Oh wait....

Which One Of These Geniuses Do You Think Ran Onto Wrigley Field Yesterday?
"Dude" or "Sweet." Take your time. Think it over. Would "Dude," with his tilted hat, be brave enough to do it even though he doesn't appear to be wearing enough sunblock? Or will "Sweet" do the honors?...

Mariners Fan Loses Bet, Dignity
Last weekend, the Padres and Mariners faced off at Safeco Field. San Diego took two of three, and one fellow on the wrong end of a bet produced this oddly whisper-filled love letter to the Padres. H/T Theodore Donald Kerabatsos....

Golden Tate Sings Taylor Swift
When you're asked to croon a few lines from your favorite Taylor Swift song, the only correct answer is "I don't know any." Golden Tate does not give the correct answer....

Argentine National Team Given Go-Ahead To Hump Its Way To World Cup Glory
Argentina's World Cup doctor says the squad will be allowed to sleep with "regular partners...without champagne or other drinks" during the tournament since sex is "not a problem in itself." Given recent events, Maradona's response to this news will be exquisite. [iAfrica.com]...

What’s This? A Video BRIMMING With Rooney Goals?
As reported in today's Sun, Wayne Rooney shall be saving his goals for the World Cup. It's a very kind gesture by the young man......

An Interview With Mike Cetera, My Literary Cubs Foil
If you've read Are We Winning?, you know my friend Mike, a Cubs fan who goes to the game with my father and me and worries about his young son becoming a Cubs fan. Well, he still exists....

Erin Andrews Has Made It After All
It wasn't that long ago that everyone wondered how Erin Andrews could ever recover from her humiliating and scary stalker episode. Now she's rolling around in lingerie and letting people rave about her ass. Looks like she made it....