go Page 765 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Olympics Are Officially Under Way
After the impressive Opening Ceremonies (yeah, yeah we get it... the Chinese are good with the technology), the Beijing Olympics are off to a pretty good start. With no major incidents, aside from Bob Costas' hair, the controversies surrounding these games were temporarily pushed aside. And judging ...

For Those Of You Who Can't Wait Until Tonight To See The Chinese People Go Crazy With The Fireworks
Here's a quick video montage of the opening ceremonies at the Beijing Olympics from this morning (last night? what time is it?) and it's quite as impressive and terrifying as reported: fireworks that resemble a mushroom cloud, flying Chinese fairy children, more fireworks, light displays, FIREWORKS...

Gigantic AT&T Logo Of Doom Rings In Olympic Games
Look, coming out of the floor ... it's the Death Star! Aiieee! It all began in Nov., 2005, when China rolled out its nightmare-inducing Olympic mascots, which may or may not include a two-footed goat. And now it culminates in an orgasm of pomp, color and spectacle — like Walt Disney throwing up, as ...

Reporter Doused By Blue-Painted Cubs Fan Outside Wrigley Field
Molly Dapier was doing freelance reporting for mouthpiece sports outside Wrigley Field. She's a tall, attractive blond reporter who appears to be minding her own business. Unbeknownst to her, however, a Chicago Cubs fan covered entirely in blue paint decided that he needed to dump a cooler full of w...

Shocking Indecency, Kiss Cams And The Natural Aphrodisiac That Is Peyton Manning
Once upon a time, a site called The Black Table had a regular feature entitled Waxing Off, in which women gathered in an online roundtable to discuss issues of the day, and also to make fun of Will Leitch's shoes. And so we got to thinking: With so many great female sports bloggers out there, why no...

San Diego Padres Owner Loses Owner's Box After Wife Files For Divorce
At least for April, May, June, and July. Which given the Padres start to the season was probably a blessing in disguise. Now John Moores is fighting to regain custody of the box. (Yeah, I know.) But his wife doesn't want to give up the box. (Ditto.) And the attorneys are up in arms trying to equita...

A Quick Word On Tomorrow's (Today's, For Us) Opening Ceremony
The Olympics begin tomorrow and they're in China, so, you know, it should be a rather fascinating world event, if you're into fascinating world events. And we are proud to welcome back our Deadspin Beijing Bureau, our own trio of correspondents living in China and reporting on everything they see, O...

Dirk Nowitzki Has Olympic Fever
Getting things shaved into the side or back of your head has become popular again. 1985 rules! First black basketball players brought it back and now it's crossed over to white basketball players. Albeit German ones. Nowitzki's new 'do is appropriate considering he'll be the flag-bearer for Germany...

Tattoos And Boner Pills = Olympic Gold
Apparently there's a new method of taking performance-enhancing drugs so that pesky IOC testers will be none the wiser: By tattoo. Inserting the drugs through tattoo needles means that smaller doses pack a bigger punch, evidently, and athletes can "fly under the radar" in doping tests. And if you pu...

So How Much Trouble Is Team USA In, Really?
Is Team USA doomed? Should an 87-76 win over Australia on Tuesday in the final tuneup before official Olympic competition be considered a good thing, or a harbinger of doom? Is this shaping up to be a debacle like 2004, when we could only manage a bronze? When Argentina asks you how their ass taste,...

Slip 'N Slide With The King
How can you have a giant, water-soaked tarp on the field during a rain delay at Wrigley and NOT expect a guy dressed as '70s Elvis to come running out to slide across it? It's just common sense. Have a good time filling out the paperwork on this one, security guy (video following the jump). Actually...

Ozzie Guillen Forgets Sometimes That He's Talking Out Loud
Hold onto something because this is going to shock you: Ozzie Guillen admitted on Sunday that he sometimes instructs his pitchers to hit people. In related news, the Pope admits a fondness for large hats. But while this may be the world's worst-kept secret, it's a surprising bit of candor, even for ...

And Now It's Time To Pretend Like The Last Four Months Didn't Happen
According to one prominent NFL reporter, the scenario of Brett Favre showing up to Packer camp (highly unlikely at the time) would be the equivalent of an "atomic bomb" going off in Green Bay. Favre's ghost and public spectacle were wearing thin on some of the Packer faithful as they attempted to tr...

For the Cubbies, Mark Cuban Is Ready to Put a Billion Where His Mouth Is
Mark Cuban has never shied away from spending money. Take for instance, his recent arbitration case against former Dallas Mavs coach Don Nelson. Cubes lost out on $6.3 million but insisted that he was pleased with the outcome because the truth about Nelson apparently came out during the proceedings....

Chinese Nicknames For NBA Players Are Confusing, Fun
From now on, Damon Stoudamire will be referred to on this site by his Chinese nickname: Little Flying Mouse. Likewise Steve Francis (Special Rights), Carmelo Anthony (Sweet Melon) and Manu Ginobili (Argentina's Flying Man). Finally, something fun from the Beijing Olympics. Guess whose nickname is Li...

Padres Shortstop Khalil Greene Out For Season After Punching a Storage Chest
Yep, he broke his left hand. Anyone who has ever punched a wall, a door, or any other inanimate object that hasn't actually done anything to you, is wincing right now. Because but for the puny amount of force your punch mustered, you too could have broken a bone in your hand and looked like an incr...

Oden, Durant Are Fine Judges Of Talent
Here's a photo from the 2007 ESPYs which I haven't seen before, so I suppose it should be officially submitted to our files. Greg Oden and Kevin Durant certainly appreciate fine things, and by that I mean the award, of course. Look on Oden's face = "Not bad." So the consensus is that the lovely on t...

Gourmet Spud's Thursday Afternoon CFL D###-Joke Free Jambor-eh
Drew Magary is off this week on a well-deserved, court-ordered "vacation". Filling in for Deadspin's juggernaut featured columnist is Gourmet "Who?" Spud, one of Deadspin's new weekend swing editors, a frequent commentor, and 1/4 of the team over at Food Court Lunch. He also helped your grandmother...

Government Issued Fashion Directives & the Internet Censors Who Love Them
The Olympics begin in August, and they're in China, so, you know, it should be a rather fascinating world event, if you're into fascinating world events. And we are proud to welcome back our Deadspin Beijing Bureau, our own trio of correspondents living in China and reporting on everything they see...

Surprisingly, All The Porn Comes In Fine
So, you're in Beijing right now, still waiting for Fire Joe Morgan to load? Don't hold your breath, comrade. As we mentioned earlier, some web sites which members of the foreign media are attempting to access in China are mysteriously failing to show up. Censorship? Surely not. Except that the Inter...