Walk: A Message To The Class Of 2017
It’s grad season again, and this year’s crop of commencement addresses promises to ring even more hollow than usual now…
On Safe Spaces: A Message For College Graduates
Oh God, it’s graduation season. Can’t we pause this somehow? I just got done adjusting to the LAST graduating class…
The World Is A Hurtful Goddamn Mess: A Message To The Class
Of 2015
Oh, God. Grad season. THE WORST. Yes, it’s that time of year when colleges around the nation pay $50,000+ a pop for…
How To Suck: A Special Message To The Graduating Class Of 2014
This is all about sucking, so I'll begin with me, in a parking lot, parked too close to the adjacent car. I open my…
You're Fucked, But You're Free: A Message To The Class Of 2013
It's May, which means it's time once again for actors and writers and politicians and whatever Thomas Friedman is to…
A Special Graduation Message To The Class Of 2012
I had a long drive home the night that I found out my son was in grave danger of being born too early. Not long in the…
A Special Graduation Message To The Class of 2011
Every year, thousands of young Americans graduate from college. And every year, those poor wretched hungover bastards…
A Special Balls Deep Message To The Class Of 2010
It's graduation time across the country. I've done this post the past two years running, and I don't see new college…
A Special Balls Deep Message To The Class Of 2008
This is BALLS DEEP With Drew Magary (Balls® is a registered trademark and has been used with the expressed written…