gus Page 21 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Sock it To Me, Sir Alex
Michael Bertin writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin Sir Alex Ferguson can go fuck himself. Okay, literally, that might be a bit of a tall order, but he does have a saggy set of B-cups so he could at least give himself a good feeling up. I mean this with the utmost respect, of course—the guy h...
Tarvaris Jackson Will Continue Being Molded From The Sidelines
The biggest question mark for the Minnesota Vikings going into this year was if second-year quarterback Tarvaris Jackson had progressed enough to run the offense. The flirtations with Brett Favre not withstanding, Vikings head coach Brad Childress made a valiant effort to put his faith behind his sh...
Sastre Wins the Tour Pending a Few Dozen Piss Tests
Carlos Sastre continued Spain's dominance in all things sport this summer (watch out LeBron) with his win at the 2008 Tour de France. Of course that wasn't the only news to come out of the oft-marred race following the final stage. ...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Is Star Jones In Dwyane Wade's Five?
Chances are this isn't even remotely close to being true, but it's so preposterous and gross that it's at least somewhat amusing. The always reliable gossip site Mediatakeout is reporting that Miami Heat's injured forward Dwyane Wade is (blecch) now (plettch) dating (claggh) the saggy old remains of...
Make Sure Your Child Is Born In August, People
Slate, continuing to obsess over the arcane and curious, has discovered that an unusual number of baseball players are born in August. Consult your astrology guides!...
Gus Johnson Is Still The Dancing Queen
Proving once again that Meryl Streep made an awful career decision starring in "Mamma Mia;" this belonged to Gus, obviously, from the get-go....
Gus Johnson Doesn't Get Quite Enough Love
OK, now do you guys think it would be safe to say that few television personalities not named Erin Andrews are more popular among these here Intertubes than Gus Johnson? We're the ones pumping the guy, dammit! James Brown? Play-by-play? Over Gus Johnson? Come on! He's loved around here. So why, then...
Gus Johnson Hits The Pause Button
This is from a while back, but I feel it buttresses (pause) my claim that Gus Johnson should be paired with Dick Vitale. Sure, they're on different networks and their collective screaming would surely destroy us all. But at least the next time Dickie V. starts a massive Dook fellatefest, there'll be...
Get Ready For The Glory And Majesty That Is The 'Name Of The Year' tournament
It's like waking up the morning before the NCAA Basketball Tournament and discovering that your favorite team has lost its eligibility (*cough* Hoosiers! *cough*). That was my reaction when I found out this morning that Brian Suksomwong has been booted from the prestigious Name of the Year competiti...
Media Approval Ratings: Gus Johnson
For some reason, we tend to forgive Gus Johnson for sins we'd find unforgivable in other broadcasters. He's high histrionics, high volume, high intensity, high volume, high pitch, all of it. He's 95 percent bluster. Of course, this is why we love him....
Year In Review: August
You might remember, toward the end of last year, when we reviewed each month of the past year leading up to New Years Day. We called it, imaginatively, "Year In Review." We continue today with August. We're digging through our archives pretty well, but if you think we should definitely feature somet...
Gus Johnson "Loves The Internet"
Big ups to Awful Announcing, which, after considerable negotiation, landed an interview with everyone's favorite screaming announcer Gus Johnson. He seems like a friendly enough fellow....
Could This Be, At Long Last, The World's Funniest Name?
Just when this Mitchell Report business had about pummeled us senseless, one brave man marched forward to bring forth laughter once again. And he didn't have to say a word. Sorry, Kosuke Fukudome ... but this guy's name has got you beat. In fact, this just may be the best name ever. Say it with me, ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after loading all torpedo bays ... • MLB: Yankees at Blue Jays. Is this the face of the Yankees' salvation? [YES Network] • WNBA: Indiana at Chicago. I know not these nicknames. Somebody help! [ESPN2] • MLB: Indians at White Sox. Let's get it started, in here. [WCIU]...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you check to see when real football starts. • NFL: Pro Football Hall of Fame Scrimmage Game. And the first major injury goes to.... [NFL Network] • MLB: New York Mets at Chicago Cubs. Must the Cubs torture their fans by acting as if they're actually going to win something?[ESPN] • F...
For The Collector Who Has Everything (But Hates Himself)
Via The Lefty, we bring you an auction that will stain your heart and make you long for the tasteful elegance of Takeru Kobayashi vomiting on live national television....
Ah, The Sweet Relief Of Augusta
You can't quite tell from this far a way, but a reader who recently caddied for him at Augusta National lets us know that the gentleman urinating into the woods in this picture is none other than South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier. Here's the before photo:...
Randy Moss To The Patriots. We Still Don't Believe It.
As we await the inevitable Bill Simmons column about this — Five Tool Tool goes ahead and sums it up for us — we continue to watch our mind boggle over the notion of Randy Moss playing for the Patriots. We've never found Moss as annoying as, say, Terrell Owens, but he's hardly what we think of when ...
Gus Johnson: Get On The Dance Floor!
Because the NCAA Tournament is never quite the same once Gus Johnson leaves — a week earlier this year, dammit — someone who knows how to use that audio software on your computer that we never understand has put together a Gus Johnson remix, featuring some of his greatest moments set to one of them ...