ham Page 229 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Dumber-er And Awesomer: <i>Furious 7, </i>Reviewed
1. Furious 7 has a scene I have been waiting a long, long time to see in a movie, and it happens twice. Two cars facing each other from opposite sides of the street. Two men, nostrils flaring, glowering, revving their engines, respective erect penises in hand. They shift into gear. They floor it. ...

Watching Rocky II With The Champ
Nice work by Longform hipping us to this 1979 article by Roger Ebert about watching Rocky II with Muhammad Ali:...

Mr. Whammy Says LeBron Complained To NBA Security About Him
Mr. Whammy (real name: Bruce Reznick) is a 79-year-old Nets superfan who has had season tickets for nearly two decades. When opposing players take free throws he walks down from his seats to right below the basket and follows a very specific yelling and waving routine to try and make them miss. He...

Report: Predatory UNH Basketball Staffer Often Recorded Naked Players
Scott Weitzell, a staffer on the New Hampshire men's basketball team, was accused in February of 2014 of secretly taking photos of players in the locker room after a game. He was fired a few days later, and when police searched his house, he attempted to destroy evidence. At the time, Weitzell r...

Rex Ryan, Please Stop Body-Shaming Your Beautiful Brother
According to Fox Sports' Mike Garafolo, Buffalo Bills head coach Rex Ryan was talking some mess about the appearance of his brother, Saints defensive coordinator Rob Ryan....

Former Georgetown Hoya Trying To Open Restaurant With Lottery Winnings
College basketball fans under 40 probably don't know the name, but for a single season Michael Graham was the fiercest college basketball player around, ripping down rebounds in traffic as well as regularly getting into tussles with opponents. The season was 1983-84, and Graham was the most hated ...

Here Are Some EPL Hooligans Brawling, Because That's What They Do Best
"OY, AN' WOT 'ID I 'EAR YOU SAY ABOUT ME MUM?!" one West Ham fan presumably asked the Sunderland fan across from him. Squaring up, the Sunderland hooligan probably said, "YOU 'EARD ME, MATE. ME AN' ME LADS GAVE OL' MUMSIE A GOOD BOFFIN', BUT YOU'RE GONNA LOOK EVEN WORSE THAN THAT OL' HAG WHEN WE'AH ...

Here's Your 2014-15 Champions League Quarterfinals Draw
After all the action in the Champions League's Round of 16 wrapped up on Wednesday, we now know the matchups for the quarterfinals. The loose theme here seems to be "There Will Be Rematches."...

Holy Mother Carlos Tevez Just Bombed Germany With This Rocket Golazo
Juventus and Borussia Dortmund are playing today, right now. A few minutes ago, they kicked off. Then two minutes passed. Then Juventus's Carlos Tevez got the ball. Then he blew up Germany's hopes, and also Germany. No more high-quality vehicles for anyone. Because there's no more Germany. Germany's...

Today In Tifos
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

Olivier Giroud Is Good At Everything Except His Job
That right there is the quintessential pose of Olivier Giroud. His head tilted skyward, his face tightened into a pained grimace, his hands slowly making their way upward to his eyes or hair as he attempts to rub away the memory of whatever near-chance he was just unable to put away....

Nine Surprises From Unlikely U.S. Marathon Champ Blake Russell
Twenty miles is considered the psychological halfway point in a marathon—quads and hammies are starting to rig, feet are swollen and pulpy, raw skin stings from salty sweat, bodily systems send increasingly frequent and frantic cease-and-desist messages to the brain. The remaining 6.2 miles require ...


Andrew Hammond Wins Again, Raises Hamburger In Triumph
Andrew Hammond's story is the best in the NHL right now, and the Senators are pushing for a miracle. But I can't shake the sense that the headline here ought to be "Magic hamburger doesn't explode after being thrown onto the ice." ...

What The Hell Are The Saints Doing?
Chip Kelly's busy gutting the Eagles roster and reshaping it to his liking, but let's turn to the Saints, who are just throwing shit all over the office this week....

José Mourinho Gets Philosophical In Rant Directed At Haters In The Media
“The world is a bit strange. Maybe because of diets, and maybe because of the quality of produce we are eating, I think memories are getting shorter,” José Mourinho begins his wild, metaphysical ride that somehow ends with him basically calling certain members of the media jealous cowards....

PSG Overcome Controversial Red Card, Boot Chelsea From Champions League
Schalke's nearly-heroic comeback yesterday put everyone on upset alert, and on cue, Paris Saint-Germain went and made good on its own upset bid with today's 2-2 draw against Chelsea, knocking the English club out of the Champions league. Despite a questionable red card on Zlatan Ibrahimović early ...

Evil Troll Spirits Invade Body Of Basel Keeper
Hm. We were giving Basel keeper Tomáš Vaclík the benefit of the doubt earlier, when he was frozen stiff by this nasty free kick, but judging from whatever's going on in that GIF above he might actually not be in control of his own body....

Cristiano Ronaldo's Forehead Saved Real Madrid's Ass
Ugh. Uggggghhhhhhhh. Just when we looked so close to seeing this shaky Real Madrid team gag up their 2-0 first leg lead in the Champions League to Schalke, of all teams, up sprang that leaping salmon Cristiano Ronaldo to save the day....