hang Page 18 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Shanghai SIPG Just Made Hulk One Of The Highest-Earning Soccer Players In The World
Lest you thought the last winter transfer window—in which a series of Chinese clubs proceeded to obliterate our understanding of and expectations for the international transfer market—was a fluke, here come Shanghai SIPG breaking records once again by dropping an unreal amount of money for Brazilian...
Mike Francesa Is Very Annoyed That <i>Sports Illustrated</i> Put Lionel Messi On Its Cover
If Mike Francesa’s visceral disdain for soccer didn’t come through clear enough when he stumbled his way through a simple MLS ad read last week, today’s rant aimed at SI for their decision to dedicate the mag’s cover to Lionel Messi and a big portion of its coverage (specifically, as Mike discovers:...
Urban Meyer Left Hanging
Five Ohio State players were selected in the NFL draft’s first round, which ought to make coach Urban Meyer very proud. But for at least one moment last night, Urbz was left by his lonesome....
IOC Lets Athletes And Sponsors Market During The Olympics, As Long As They Say Nothing About The Olympics
Brigham Young University professor of statistics Jared Ward finished third in February’s US Olympic Trials Marathon, filling the final spot on the Rio-bound marathon team. The married father of two is almost unknown outside the competitive running community, but has been successful enough in the las...
You Should Have Sex to Maxwell’s <i>Urban Hang Suite</i>
There’s a handful of artists who universally earn a spot on everyone’s sex playlists. Janet, Sade, Prince, etc. Their slow jams, classic and fuck-to-able, are made for cramming between the likes of the new Rihanna (“Yeah I Said It”) and that one flawless Weeknd song you squirm along to (“Earned It”)...
The Ravens Have Proposed A Strange NFL Rule Change
Today is the day when NFL teams submit proposed rule changes to be debated at next week’s owners meeting, and the Baltimore Ravens have come in with the silliest proposal....
MLB Kills The Neighborhood Play, And That’s Bad News For Player Safety
MLB announced its rule changes for the upcoming season, and the big ones have to do with pace of play and dangerous slides, two issues that have grabbed a lot of attention over the past few years....
Malaysian Wizard Smashes In Magic-Guided Free Kick Goal
There’s only one rational explanation for the insane swerve and dip Penang’s Mohd Faiz Subri puts on this ball that allows it to fly every which way, completely bamboozling the keeper, before hitting the side of the net from a distance and angle where it should be nigh-impossible to score from: magi...
China Has Passed MLS As The Place For Old Stars To Cash Out
Depending on which reports you believe, Chinese Super League clubs are in the tank for Oscar, Arda Turan, Marouane Fellaini, Juan Mata, Lionel Messi, Wayne Rooney, and Ronaldo. As the league’s recent hiring spree shows, they have more money than they know what to do with, and when they wave the kind...
Chinese Soccer Player Accidentally Kicks The Living Shit Out Of Teammate
Li Jianbin only had eyes for the ball. The rest of the world faded away and there was only the ball, Li, and the necessity for Li to punt the thing into orbit. But when his bicycle kick was completed and he fell to the ground, the only thing Li had succeeded in clearing was his Shanghai Shenhua team...
NBA To Seed Playoffs By Record, All But Kill Divisions
In the first round of last season’s Western Conference playoffs, the 51-31 Portland Trail Blazers were the 4th seed, while the the 55-27 Memphis Grizzlies were the 5th seed. Yet, despite being the higher seed, Portland started the playoffs on the road. It was the result of the NBA’s awkward playoff ...
How To Deal With A Hangover At Work
When you’re drinking on a weeknight, you never think you’re going to drink to the point of having a horrid hangover the next day. So, you agree to happy hour... with the promise to yourself that you’ll only drink a very responsible two drinks and then leave the bar. After your third, you swear you’l...
Jets Look At QB Depth Chart, Sigh Deeply, Name Geno Smith Starter
The Jets have made a lot of impressive decisions this offseason, and that’s not the setup for a joke. Darrelle Revis came back, the already-fearsome defensive line improved with draft pick Leonard Williams, and they snagged Brandon Marshall for a fifth-round pick. There’s a lot of talent everywhere—...
How to Cash Out Your Change
It's around 3 p.m., and I'm starting to run out of gas. My brain just has no juice. I'm a writer, and I work best in the mornings, so I try to be typing by 7:45 a.m., and with any luck I make it till 4 before the gears start to grind and the works gum up. But not today. Today, by like 3:15, the wo...
Do Not Even Fucking Think About Leaving Russell Westbrook Hanging
Seriously, it's a bad idea....
No Sexy Hangers: The Ask A Clean Person Holiday Gift Guide Rejects
Each year since I became a professional Clean Person—as opposed to what I was prior to that, which was a regular old compulsively clean and weirdly knowledgeable person—I've taken great joy from compiling a guide of holiday gifts to give to loved ones, clean or dirty. This year's version appears o...
The Time A One-Armed Baseball Team Took On A One-Legged Baseball Team
Back in olden times, novelty barnstorming baseball teams were all the rage. While squads of all women, all Asians, and all blacks were popular, maybe no game was as indelibly memorable as the Snorkeys vs. the Hoppers: the former, a team of one-armed players; the latter, a collection of one-legged ...
Table Tennis Player Gets Too Amped, Destroys Sign, Loses Prize Money
Pro table tennis player Zhang Jike won the 2014 Liebherr Men's World Cup in Germany this weekend, and he celebrated by kicking the shit out of a nearby sign before tossing his shirt into the crowd. Take that, sign! I am the best at table tennis and I am stronger than you!...
All Other Big Threes Can Go Home
The Shanghai Sharks' Big Three of Michael Beasley, Yao Ming, and Delonte West is the best Big Three that ever was....