hawks Page 111 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
"People Are Going To Start Punching Babies": Among The Almost-Thugs In Vancouver
VANCOUVER, British Columbia — Watching Canucks fans raise hell last night in downtown Vancouver reminded me of the guys who get paternity-tested on Maury, learn they're not the father and launch into the Ickey Shuffle. Some people are so beat-down that mere relief tastes like a miracle. The Canucks ...
Patrick Kane Needs A Drink
Your morning roundup for April 27, the day we let the idiots drive the national agenda....
Naked Man Invades Home, Steals Prized Kansas Basketball Outfit For Cover
Donald Watson of Springfield, Mo. was charged yesterday for invading a home while naked. While he was there, he donned a former tenant's beloved Kansas basketball outfit and then took off on a police chase; he was ultimately taken into custody after "a run-in with a police dog."...
Star Of <i>Fred Claus</i> Points And Laughs At Four-Time NHL All-Star
Your morning roundup for April 20, the day we started buying all of our heroin on Craigslist....
Your NHL Playoffs Open Thread
It's onto Game Threes. The Capitals try to go up 3-0 on the Rangers at 3 p.m. [Washington Post]. The Canucks will attempt to do same to the Blackhawks at 8 p.m. [Vancouver Sun]....
Your NBA Playoffs Open Thread
The NBA Playoffs start with four games on today's schedule. Pacers vs. Bulls at 1 p.m. Sixers at Heat at 3:30 p.m. Hawks at the Magic at 7 p.m. Blazers at Mavs at 9:30 p.m. Throw all the octopi you want; it's fantastic. Except in Orlando, where they're already scared Dwight Howard might take his ta...
Dueling Mullets Welcome You To Day One Of The NHL Playoffs
Your morning roundup for April 13, the day Justin Bieber reminded us that the Middle East is still fucked up....
NHL Playoff Blood Flows Red On The Regular-Season Rink
Thanks to tipster Noah D. for sending in this shot of Johan Franzen of the Detroit Red Wings after he'd been face-cut by Blackhawk Duncan Keith's stick in today's regular-season finale....
Chicago's Marty Turco Uses Bench Time To Place Bets With Fans, Write "Turco Rules!" On $5 Bills
Marty Turco signed a one-year contract with Chicago last summer and expected to start in net for the Blackhawks. But for much of the season, he's served as Corey Crawford's back-up and has gotten well-acquainted with the pine. He hasn't started a game since Feb. 11. So Turco's now looking for new so...
Blackhawks Wing Brouwer Whiffs Badly On This Hit, Injures Shoulder
Your morning roundup for April 6, the day Netflix struck an exclusive streaming deal with the Derek Jeter of TV....
Ex-NBA Ref Attacks Dominique Wilkins Over Clothing Tab, Gets Black Eye, Plans To Sue
An ex-NBA ref named Rashan S. Michel lingered in Philips Arena after the Hawks-Magic game last night with the express purpose of demanding about $12,500 from Hall of Famer and Hawks analyst Dominique Wilkins. As seen in the TMZ-branded video above, Michel confronted Wilkins, shoved him, punched a ...
VCU Has Now Forced Its Unbearable Victory Song Upon Us
Your morning roundup for March 30, the day Peter Venkman signed on to play FDR....
Sad Jayhawk Has "Absolutely No Regrets" About Being Sad Jayhawk
Before he was Sad Jayhawk, Matt Rissien was just another superfan: going to away games, wearing a costume, posing with luminaries like Erin Andrews and Scot Pollard. But, thanks to the vagaries of the universe and an alert cameraman, he's become more: a symbol of fallen hubris. A Crying Duke Kid or ...
VCU Has No Business In The Final Four, And We're Glad They're Here
Last week at this time, we were laughing at the Big East for being a weak conference, despite all the late winter talk about it being the best in college basketball. The evidence proffered was the number of teams left in the tournament. By that logic, the best conferences in college basketball at th...
TJ Duckett, Out Of Football For Two Years, Will Shave Beard For Charity
T.J. Duckett, known best to you as the guy who'd replace an easily-winded Warrick Dunn in Madden '05, told the Huffington Post, in an exclusive interview, that he will shave his beard of two years and donate the proceeds to charity....
Derrick Rose Will Miss A Three-Pointer Just So He Can Dunk On Your Head
The Bulls blew a 19-point lead and committed 17 turnovers in an 83-80 loss in Atlanta last night. Derrick Rose didn't shoot particularly well — he was 5-for-21 from the field and had 12 points and 12 assists — but he did make up for it when he missed....
Child Blackhawk Reporter Has The World By Its Balls
Hiring cute children as on-air talent is no longer a meme. It's an affliction. The innocently invasive questions. The gnat-like attention spans. We should be sick of it. But, hell, this little feller the Chicago Blackhawks have working the locker room is still fairly adorable as he talks to player...
Did Patrick Kane Have A Two-Day Hangover? (UPDATE)
Patrick Kane missed Blackhawks practice Monday and Tuesday with "flulike symptoms." The team wouldn't elaborate, but flulike symptoms might consist of nausea, vomiting, chills, aches, weakness, diarrhea. What else could cause those? Maybe, just maybe, throwing down at a Chicago bar on Sunday....
NBA All-Star Joe Johnson Likes Bling, Dislikes Paying For It
According to a complaint filed by Pak's Jewelers in Milwaukee, Joe Johnson of the Atlanta Hawks placed a $74,389.20 order for a variety of bejeweling accessories but "never paid any portion of the monetary balance."...
There Is An Army Of Senior Citizens Spying On Kansas Athletes
A volunteer army, with code names like "Red Dog," roams the halls of KU, making sure the athletes actually attend class. Don't fuck with them. They lived through The Big One....