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He Calls This Move 'The Spanish Prostate Exam'
For those considering a career in bullfighting, please feel free to use this as your screensaver. One of Spain's big shot matadors was gored not once, but twice; including this most excellent shot by a bull who obviously knows what he's doing. And so Jose "The Balls" Thomas is forced to choose a new...

About Last Night
What you missed while noticing that the head of the World Health Organization's department of HIV/AIDS has an unfortunate name ... • Ruud van Nistelrooy sends Italians to brink of World Cup qualifying doom. • NFL: In non-Ruud van Nistelrooy news, the Bears cut Cedric Benson. • Agent Zero opts out of...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

About Last Night
What you missed when the police took the plasma TV from your prison cell ... • MLB: The Radhames Liz Era has begun. Orioles 5, Twins 3. • NHL: Red Wings' explanation for Game 5 loss to Penguins: It was the refs' fault, of course. • Womens softball: How could you pitch to Kaitlin Cochran? Fools! Ariz...

About Last Night
What you missed while selling your camel ... • NHL: Penguin fans rejoice ... triple overtime win sends Stanley Cup Finals to Game 6. • NFL: T.O.'s three-year extension with Cowboys is worth $27 million (Super Bowl ring sold separately). • MLB: Cubs' Zambrano puts on a show, postpones June Swoon at l...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Jimmy Rollins Is Recognizable
The Gray Lady has an amusing piece today limning a day in the life of the slavering subhuman horde that is the habitual autograph hound. The column tags them as "Sharpie-wielding stalkers," which might be a terrible slight to stalkers everywhere. I mean, at least most stalkers know who they're purs...

Your "Let's Get Out Of Here Already" Friday Afternoon Picture Post Of Surrealism
We're making this a Friday afternoon tradition. Somebody arrest that moose, fast....

Boston Getting A Head Start On The Head Start Memorabilia
Just to appropriately taunt the sporting dieties — Patriots style — this T-shirt has officially been on racks. We're not sure what this says about Deadspin readers, but three different people sent this to us over the weekend from the same ESPN Store at Disneyworld in Orlando....

Beckett And Boston Get ________ed
Justin Duchscherer was joking around before his start against the Boston Red Sox: ''I said, 'Those guys don't want none of me today 'cuz I'm going to pull a Lester on 'em,'' Duchscherer recalled with a grin. ''In the sixth inning, I was thinking, 'Did I really say that before the game?' '' Yes, Just...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after a day at the penis museum ... • Golf: LPGA, Corning (N.Y.) Classic, first round, (6:30 p.m. ET; same-day tape). So who do you think is hotter; Danielle Ammaccapane or Dina Ammaccapane? [The Golf Channel] • NBA: Eastern Conference finals, Game 2, Detroit at Boston (8:30 p.m., ET)....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you wind down from your wild Victoria Day festivities ... • Arena Football League: Los Angeles at Chicago (8 p.m., ET). Those who are about to die, salute you! [ESPN2] • MLB: Chicago Cubs at Houston (7 p.m., ET). Theodore Roosevelt Lilly attempts to take San Juan Hill. [ESPN] • NBA:...

About Last Night
What you missed while leaping onto the Bob Barr Presidential bandwagon ... • NBA: Why Don't We Do It On The Road ... Celtics lose again in Cleveland, evening series 2-all. • MLB: Nick Adenhart gets his first major league victory, then is promptly sent to the minors. Angels 10, White Sox 7. • NHL: Oh...

Reports Of Limatime's Demise Greatly Exaggerated
A few weeks ago, it seemed, the world was faced with the sad prospect of bidding farewell to Limatime when reports surfaced out of Korea that he had been released by the Kia Tigers. Mope no longer, lovers of exuberant pitchers with stacked wives, for not only is Limatime born anew with the Tigers, ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while wondering if the new statue at Staples Center will sport fishnets... • Oscar de la Hoya vs. Steve Forbes. Check back in later tonight. [HBO] • The Detroit Pistons host the Orlando Magic in the first game of the NBA Playoff's second round. The first round should be wrapping up any...

They're Ready to Run For the Roses
The little people are mounting their steeds, which means the most exciting two minutes in sports (setting aside the final two minutes in almost all other highly contested sporting events) can't be far behind. Oh wait, they're playing "My Old(e?) Kentucky Home. This could take a while. Hey, an ex-boy...

Female Athletes Play Fair And Keep Things In Perspective. How I Loathe Them
This occurred Saturday, but women's softball news tends to travel slowly, if at all. In an amazing display of sportsmanship, some Central Washington University players helped a Western Oregon opponent round the bases to complete a home run after the batter had injured her knee. This also once happen...

Costas Now Airs Tonight, 10 P.M. Eastern. What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
All right, as you might have heard, we'll be appearing live on Costas Now tonight on HBO, at 10 p.m. ET. Theoretically, this will be a roundtable discussion between ourselves, Costas, the outstanding writer (if not necessariliy sabermetrically inclined) Buzz Bissinger and Cleveland Browns wide recei...

1st Round, Fourth Overall: Raiders Select Darren McFadden
It's time to bring the mood down a little, dim the lights, turn off the laugh track. Think of this as the portion of Comic Relief when Whoopie, Billy, and Robin would drop the shtick and talk seriously about whatever the hell Comic Relief was supposed to benefit....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you realize that HBO is rerunning Deadwood episodes, so time is at a premium ... • Boxing: Super middleweights, Peter Quillin vs. Antwun Echols, at New York (10 p.m. ET, same-day tape). Don't tell me who won! (Claps hands over ears). [ESPN2] • MLB: Boston at New York Yankees (7 p.m....