hi Page 1045 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cops Join In Snow Football Game, Deliver Devastating Stiffarm
Much like that Gainesville cop who dunked on those kids earlier this week, these Washington D.C. cops took a little time off from policing last night as the blizzard was roaring into D.C. to play some sports. This may or may not be an attempt to ride the wave of goodwill that the Gainesville cop set...
![We Can't Read Your Sign, Dickhead [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/detvof3sshrakp2ndoii.gif)
We Can't Read Your Sign, Dickhead [UPDATE]
Here’s some Jersey shithead with an illegible sign making an ass out of himself behind the Monmouth Co. sheriff. Hey, dickhead, you’re holding a white sign in the middle of a snowstorm. Nobody can read your fuckin’ sign. If you had a brain in your skull, you’d be inside....
Oklahoma Is On Fire
Here’s the kind of team Oklahoma is: This afternoon, their leader Buddy Hield was struggling with foul trouble and putting forth an uncharacteristically loose performance against Baylor. The Bears were beginning to turn the corner on the Sooners, and had just tied it up at 41 with 17 minutes left. R...
Joe Hart's Tremendous Save Brings Russell Brand To His Feet In Anguish
Man City keeper Joe Hart kept his side even with West Ham United with a brilliant save of a Dimitry Payet free kick that brought anguish to the supporters at Upton Park—especially Russell Brand, in attendance with pal Noel Gallagher. Depending on whether you think Brand is an asshole or if you think...
Ángel Di María Hammers Home Long-Range Volley
We can’t imagine PSG’s Ángel di María heard about Dele Alli’s wondergoal earlier today, but if he did this is a fitting response. Dare we say di María learned it from Zlatan?...
That Thing You Said Means The Opposite Of What You Think It Means
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Three NHL Games, Two NBA Games Postponed By East Coast Blizzard
How are you planning on spending this snowbound evening? Hopefully you weren’t planning on watching the Wizards, Sixers (you definitely weren’t), or the Islanders play tonight. The NHL has postponed today’s Islanders—Flyers game as well as tomorrow’s Capitals—Penguins game. The Capitals game yesterd...
Messi The Magician Gives Barça The Lead With Gorgeous Volley
Barcelona found themselves in a real battle today at Málaga, but it was the hero himself, Lionel Messi, who once again came through in the clutch as the Argentine brought Ray Hudson to yet another orgasmic climax with an unstoppable volley....
Stephen Curry Is A Fictional Character From Planet X
One of baseball’s last remaining virtues is that the maxim “Watch any baseball game, and you’ll see something you’ve never seen before” is generally true. We think it’s about time that rule be applied to any time Steph Curry is on a basketball court... or off it....
Ovechkin Spotted Getting Gas To Plow Neighbors' Driveways; Is Unafraid Of Blizzard Because "We're From Russia"
Draw your own conclusions about how and why Alex Ovechkin happened to run into D.C. CBS station WUSA at a gas station. All we know is that the Capitals star had three words in response to a query about whether he’s prepared for the blizzard assaulting our nation’s capital: “We’re from Russia.”...
Macklemore's Problem Is That Macklemore Is Bad
Last night, white rapping man Macklemore released a song called “White Privilege II.” The song, which is accompanied by a website, is earnest and ostensibly aims to acknowledge and condemn the very white privilege from which Macklemore profits. It is a bad song. To examine how we got to this point, ...
The Man Who Was Vigo The Carpathian Gets A Compelling Mini-Documentary
No Small Parts, a fan-made documentary series about character actors, has produced this lovely piece on Norbert Grupe, aka Prince Wilhelm von Homburg, aka Vigo the Carpathian, aka one of the biggest assholes there was. It’s based off of Shaun Raviv’s piece on Grupe that we published in October, and ...
Not Even A Fancy Studio Band Can Make Your Sexts Sound Appealing
This truly remarkable song claims to derive its lyrics from “word for word consensual texts sent to a young woman by frat guys.” Enjoy....
Is It OK To Order Delivery During A Snowstorm?
Much of the East Coast is about to get slammed by a nor’easter, with areas in and around Washington D.C. set to receive up to two feet or more of snow. Schools have been canceled, airports are functionally shut down, and even D.C.’s Metro is set to shutter for the weekend. But you’re hungry, and you...
![The Washington Capitals Shouldn't Play Tonight [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/gpngucdb0ofb5dlc984v.jpg)
The Washington Capitals Shouldn't Play Tonight [Update]
The snow in Washington D.C. is expected to start falling around noon. A blizzard warning formally goes into effect at 3 p.m. The region could get two feet or more. The storm “has life and death implications,” Mayor Muriel Bowser said. “People should hunker down, shelter in place and stay off the roa...
Cop Responds To Noise Complaint Of Kids Playing Basketball By Lowering Rim And Dunking On Them
Some no-fun-haver called in a noise complaint against these kids in Gainesville, Fl. for having the audacity—the nerve—to play basketball loudly in what appears to be the damn woods, or somewhere close to the woods anyway....
Grizzlies Fan Becomes Victim Of Apocalyptic Silly String Ambush
The Grizzlies shot 80% on the Nuggets in the first quarter but Rocky and his Nuggets fan cohorts shot 100% on silly string ambushes for the night....
How Washington's Youngsters Turned The Program Around
Ask historically great programs like Texas football or UCLA basketball; losing has a way of compounding itself in college sports. With constant, acute competition for recruits, it can be difficult to reverse the narrative once you start slipping. Why would that five-star quarterback want to play for...
Report: Freshman Hazed At Tennessee HS Found Covered In Blood, Urine, Feces
ESPN’s Outside the Lines has new details about what police say happened the night three high school basketball players are accused of attacking and sodomizing a teammate with a pool cue. They include a timeline of how the attack unfolded, how other students were similarly hazed, how long coaches wai...