hi Page 1099 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Johannes Geis Hammers Home Long-Range Free Kick <i>Golazo</i>
Schalke 04 up-and-comer Johannes Geis gave the supporters in Gelsenkirchen something to anticipate for the forthcoming season as he drilled a perfect free kick into the corner of the net during today’s friendly against Dutch side Twente. Schalke just signed Geis to a four-year contract, and if he ca...

Another Former Eagle Claims Chip Kelly Isn't Down With The Black Players
Brandon Boykin today has become the latest black Eagle to be ousted by Chip Kelly and allege some kind of racial angle to the head coach’s personnel decisions. According to texts Boykin sent Comcast SportsNet’s Derrick Gun, the defensive back thinks Kelly is “uncomfortable around grown men of our cu...

How To Make Perlo, The Deep South's Best Take On Chicken And Rice
Here’s the thing about South Carolina: if you drive far enough inland from the ocean, you will run out of fingers on which to count highway billboards threatening you with ultimatums like “Accept Jesus Or Burn In Hell.” Not a whole lot to recommend the place once you get out of earshot of the surf....

Cryin' Wilmer Flores, Still A Met, Hits 12th-Inning Walkoff
Two days ago Wilmer Flores was crying on the field, thinking the Mets had traded him away. Tonight, the shortstop cranked a 12th-inning walkoff to give his team—still the Mets—a 2-1 win over Washington....

Laundry School: Death To Rumpled, Wrinkled Clothes
Here we are, friends, at the end of our Laundry School coursework. We covered a ton of ground this month, from explaining the difference between liquid and powder detergents to an overview of washer and dryer settings and cycles. There were posts dedicated to the products you use to get your clothes...

A Norwegian Hero Has Been Shitting In A Golf Club's Holes For A Decade
There are keyboard warriors out there, like myself, who will write all these words about how golf is a classist and racist and sexist and bullshit sport and how actually fuck that it’s not even a sport and how the easiest way to tell if you’re in the presence of a Grade-A, grass-fed fuckboy is to as...

No Hops-Having Keeper Lets Pass Bounce Over His Head For An Own Goal
You had three options here, goalkeeper: 1) run out to the incoming back pass and meet it right after it bounces, 2) step back a few steps and take the ball off your chest after it took that towering though perfectly predictable skip off the turf, 3) loiter around in the box and find yourself standin...

The Marlins Played Fart Noises During The Nationals' Batting Practice
Some weird stuff happened at the Marlins’ stadium while the visiting Nationals were taking batting practice last night. Some weird fart stuff, to be specific:...

Cole Hamels Traded To Rangers, Phillies Get Top Prospects In Return
It turns out that Cole Hamels’s final start after 10 seasons as a Philly was indeed a no-hitter, as he has been traded to the Texas Rangers for a gaggle of prospects. As reported by Jeff Passan and others, here is what the deal looks like: ...

Taste Roger Goodell's Wrath With Our NFL Punishment Generator
NFL commissioner Roger Goodell is a ruddy incompetent who draws out decisions on punishing league employees in order to soak up the most positive attention he can. Until now, fans have only been to take part in this experience as third parties. Thanks to the NFL Punishment Generator, though, you too...

'Skins: A Billion-Kerjillion People Read About Our Stupid Team
Dan Snyder’s football team continues to be the biggest embarrassment in sports. To wit:...


The Nationals Are Kind Of Boning Drew Storen
The Washington Nationals just made a trade that should help fix their biggest weakness—the back end of the bullpen—by bringing in Jonathan Papelbon to be the new closer. Papelbon will take the job from current closer Drew Storen, who will slide into a set-up role and give the Nats a great 1-2 punch ...

Cleancast: Ever Wondered How Gross Restaurants Really Are?
So ... have you? Do you wonder if restaurant employees are actually washing their hands after using the restroom? Does the thought of trichinosis send you into an emotional spiral? My guest this week on the official Ask a Clean Person podcast is Daniel Gritzer, the culinary director at Serious Eats,...

Drake's New Diss Track Comes With A Great Sports Troll
Drake and Meek Mill are beefing because Meek claimed that Drake doesn’t write his own raps. This morning, Drake released his second diss track aimed at Meek, and it’s pretty good, as diss tracks go, but what I really like about it is the cover art:...

Omar Infante And Alcides Escobar Just Made A Ridiculous Play
There is something very fun and pleasing about how the defensive tools are reversed on this play, with Omar Infante throwing the ball with his glove and Alcides Escobar catching it with his hand. It’s supposed to be the other way around, guys! ...

Eden Hazard Weaves Through Half The Barcelona Team To Score
Chelsea and Barcelona are putting on a pretty competitive summer friendly, but the Barca defense gave juuuuust a bit too much room to Eden Hazard here. There is a reason he is the best player in the Premier League....

New York City Parks Worker Confronts Shit, Mortality
The video above—which comes to us from A Walk In The Park—is narrated by NYC parks worker Daniel Roca. When Roca arrived at his job at Sara D. Roosevelt Park yesterday, he found the basement of his building flooded with poop. And then the poop almost killed him....

Why Your Team Sucks 2015: Chicago Bears
Some people are fans of the Chicago Bears. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Chicago Bears. This 2015 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....