hi Page 1117 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Here's A Thingy Tracking NBA Teams' Nerd Ratings Through History
FiveThirtyEight has a cool interactive up today by Nate Silver and frenemy of the program Reuben Fischer-Baum, calculating the Elo ratings throughout history for every team in the NBA. I’m a sucker for Elo ratings, so I love this. I’m also a sucker for the shitbag Knicks, so I pulled up their chart ...
Dana White Can't Stop Lying About UFC Fighters Being Domestic Abusers
When Dana White isn’t busy calling female reporters “fucking dumb bitches” or those reporters’ sources “fucking faggots,” the UFC president spends his time whitewashing his fighters’ domestic violence histories. There’s Thiago Silva, arrested on charges he put a gun in his wife’s mouth, threatened t...
If You Left Your Credit Card On The Field At Petco, The Cubs Found It
Tsuyoshi Wada came off the disabled list to go 4⅔ quality innings in his first start of the season in the Cubs’ 3-2 win in San Diego, but he racked up a pretty clutch save, too: he found someone’s credit card on the field as he walked off the mound after the third....
Kyle Korver Just Wants To Live, Man
One of the fun things about LeBron James is that he is so impossibly big, fast, and strong that he can turn a crunch-time possession in a playoff game, one which his opponents desperately needed to end with a stop, into a basic fight-or-flight situation....
Bryce Harper Ejected, But Nobody Knows Why
Bryce Harper was tossed from tonight’s game against the Yankees for ... well it isn’t exactly sure what he was tossed for. Home plate umpire Marvin Hudson made a (bad) strike call that Harper disagreed with, and he said a few words before digging in for the next pitch. But then manager Matt Williams...
Jamie Foxx's Doc Rivers Impression Is Perfect
Jamie Foxx was a guest on the Tonight Show last night, and busted out a surprise Doc Rivers impression during his segment. Jamie Foxx is really, really good at sounding like Doc Rivers....
There's A Mushroom Growing In My Tub!
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She’ll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
Whose Disgusting Baseball Chin Is This?
Welcome back to Whose Disgusting Baseball Chin Is This? a regular feature in which we ask readers to identify a baseball player based on a closely cropped image of his disgusting chin. So, whose chin is this? Use the image slider below to find out....
So, Did James Harden Win You Over?
If any James Harden fans are still looking for a way to convince James Harden haters that the Rockets’ shooting guard and MVP runner-up is in fact a legitimate superstar and not the NBA equivalent of a Mortal Kombat spammer, they need look no further than last night’s Game 1 against the Warriors....
Why <i>Not</i> Allow Kickass Header Goals?
The best moment of last night’s triple-OT Blackhawks win didn’t even count. Andrew Shaw’s headbutt goal in the second overtime was waved off, quite possibly for being too awesome to process at 1 in the morning. Things worked out in the end for Chicago, but did we and future highlight reels really ne...
Blackhawks Top Ducks 3-2 In Triple OT
It isn’t the prettiest goal you’ll ever see—and it’s no head goal—but it did the trick just fine. Blackhawks forward Marcus Krüger punched the puck past Frederik Andersen 16 minutes and 12 seconds into the game’s third overtime; the longest game in the Chicago Blackhawks’s 89-year history. (It was o...
Potential Double OT-Winning Goal Disallowed For Being Too Awesome
Hockey players regularly play soccer in the locker room before games, and Blackhawks forward Andrew Shaw pulled his best Ronaldo impression when he headed in a goal that left the city of Chicago thinking they’d won Game 2 of the Western Conference Final in double overtime. But no! It turns out that’...
Old Man Jumps Off 500-Foot-High Bridge, Lights Parachute On Fire, Dies
Maybe 73-year-old BASE jumper James E. Hickey didn’t precisely want to die when he leapt off the 500-foot-high Perrine Bridge, in Twin Falls, Idaho, and lit his own goddamn parachute on fire. On the other hand, I think it is safe to say that jumping off of a 500-foot-high bridge and lighting one’s o...
Pedro Alvarez Wallops Home Run Out Of PNC Park, Into Moored Boat
Both AT&T Park and PNC Park were built alongside large bodies of water. But whereas the San Francisco Bay is only about 370 feet from home plate at AT&T Park, the Allegheny River is 443 feet from home plate at PNC Park. Thus, in its 14-year history, there have only been two splash hits at PNC Park. ...
76ers Win Right To Trade Somebody For Two Second-Rounders In 2017
Well, it was worth it. At long last, it was worth it. The two forfeited seasons, the lottery picks spent on bum legs, the young players traded for assets, the assets traded for lesser assets, the draft lottery letting the Heat and Lakers keep their picks instead of shipping them to Philly, the TED t...
Timberwolves Will Draft First, Knicks The Big Loser Of The Lottery
The NBA held the annual draft lottery Tuesday night, and as usual it provided drama in equal measures of hope and disappointment. This is the order teams will be picking in next month:...
Nick, The Cubs Threw Out Your Grandma’s Personalized Brick
Nick, my man, we have some bad news. Remember when your sweet grandma bought a commemorative brick to be placed outside of Wrigley Field, one that would stand as a testament to her love for you and the Cubbies forever? Well, the Cubs just made a sucker out of your sweet grandma, because they threw t...
How To Watch James Harden, The Loathsome Genius
Hi, casual basketball fan! As you’re likely aware, the NBA’s conference finals begin tonight. In the Eastern Conference, the Atlanta Hawks will take on the Cleveland Cavaliers. In the West, the Golden State Warriors will face the Houston Rockets—and their star guard, James Harden....
Who Needs Hitting When You've Got Corey Kluber And Chris Sale?
Chris Sale and Corey Kluber pitched against each other last night, and they each turned in performances that lived up to the Best Pitching Matchup of The Week billing that games featuring two great starters always get but often fail to live up to. In fact, Kluber vs. Sale represented everything that...