hi Page 1173 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bengals RB Jeremy Hill Says The 6-3 Browns Are Still Bad
Holy crap, the Browns are at the top of their division (tied with the Steelers). They beat the Bengals 24-3 last night to improve to 6-3, their best start since football returned to Cleveland in 1999. Hoyer the Destroyer! An impressive defense! Josh Gordon's coming back soon! But Bengals running bac...
FIFA's Corruption Report Is Being Kept Secret For Very Dumb Reasons
Former U.S. attorney Michael J. Garcia finished his investigation into allegations of bribery in the bidding process for both the 2018 and 2022 World Cups earlier this year, and he has made it known that he would like the report to be made public. The report is currently being kept secret by Hans-Jo...
FSU Sorority Girl Burns Everyone On Flag Football Touchdown
Delta Gamma's Michelle Roque channeled her inner LaDainian Tomlinson and toasted four defenders in a flag football game at Florida State. As a former flag football ref (for one semester), I can determine she did not use her hands to prevent any defender from grabbing one of her flags, so her moves a...
Further Evidence Bill Simmons & Ellen DeGeneres Are The Same Person
Yesterday a commenter remarked on some similarities between ESPN word-jock Bill Simmons and entertainer Ellen DeGeneres. We conducted a detailed forensic analysis of their faces, and you can see the shocking results in the above video....
Adorable Kid Thinks Candy Corn Is A Candle, Tosses It In The Garbage
A YouTuber named Kyle Quinn gave some candy corn (which is garbage) to an outrageously cute sixth-grader in China. That sixth-grader thought it was a candle, and threw it in the trash. That sixth grader is the best sixth grader....
Texas High School Nixes Football Team T-Shirt Featuring Rape Joke
A Texas high school forced its football team to get rid of T-shirts with the slogan, "Shhhhhhh[,] just let it happen," because we all know what the fuck they were implying....
"He Reeked Of Jim Beam And Slim Jims": Your Best Mike Ditka Stories
Yesterday we posted Andy Richter's telling of Mike Ditka doing "one of the most senselessly arrogant & aggressive things" he'd ever witnessed. It seems that nearly everybody that has ever stepped foot in Chicago has a Mike Ditka story, usually involving cigars, booze, or both. Below are some of ...
Dolphins, Chiefs Agree To London Games In Hopes Of Hosting Super Bowl
The NFL has unveiled its 2015 "International Series"—three games to be played in London's Wembley Stadium, three teams forfeiting the competitive and financial advantage of a home game. Why on earth would anyone want to be the "home" team in London? Here's the really simple answer:...
<em>El Mariachi</em> Is A Feast Of Bloody Micro-Budget Silliness
There's a moment early in El Mariachi, the micro-budget 1992 movie that introduced Robert Rodriguez to the world, where our hero, an unnamed wandering musician, asks a bartender if he can work there, singing for tips. The asshole bartender laughs in his face and says that he'd never pay one guy ...
Derrick Rose Hurt Both Of His Ankles Again
Derrick Rose returned to the Bulls' starting lineup last night after missing the two previous games. He missed those games because he managed to sprain both of his ankles during a game last Friday. Rose played 31 minutes against the Bucks, which is great, but he also managed to re-aggravate both of ...
Here's Some Racist Shit A French Manager Said About African Players
Bordeaux manager and former French international Willy Sagnol had some things to say about African soccer players this week. As you can probably guess, they were racist as hell....
Brett Favre Was The Third Choice For <em>There's Something About Mary</em>
Brett Favre's memorable cameo in There's Something About Mary wouldn't have happened if the Farrelly Brothers had gotten their way (and if Drew Bledsoe hadn't injured a woman stage-diving at an Everclear concert)....
Mike Ditka Apparently Doesn't Give A Fuck Where He Leaves His Cigars
Conan O'Brien sidekick Andy Richter took to Twitter late Wednesday night to tell a pretty funny story about Mike Ditka. ...
Don't Threaten Me, Fox Sports Florida
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
That Whole ESPN Report On RGIII Was Kind Of A Mess
On Sunday, ESPN had a big Trouble-in-Landover report that was actually two stories rolled into one. The juicier one, a claim that a locker-room outburst was proof that Robert Griffin III had "alienated" his teammates, was quickly disputed by a whole bunch of reporters who were in the room. Now the s...
The Chiefs' Travis Kelce Might Be The Next Revolutionary Tight End
The best NFL offenses are lousy with new-breed tight ends—guys like Rob Gronkowski, Julius Thomas, and Jimmy Graham, the dudes who bust up defenses with an unfair blend of size, speed, and pass-catching ability. And while you can't really tell from the raw numbers, Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce is...
Gerald Green Dunked The Lakers Back Into Their Mausoleum
The shit-ass Lakers are now 0-5 after dropping a home game to the not-shit-ass Phoenix Suns last night. While Kobe Bryant was out there racking up 39 points on 37 (37! Thirty-seven!) shots, Suns swingman and dunk specialist Gerald Green was yamming on the Lakers without mercy. ...
