hi Page 1206 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Hey, ESPN Sorta Asked Bob Bowlsby If He Works Harder Than His Secretary
This is pretty cool. On Thursday, I offered a leather-bound edition of Das Kapital to any reporter who asked Bob Bowlsby just one little question. Bowlsby is the Big 12 commissioner who, in an act of face-melting chutzpah, recently decided to wrap himself in Marx's labor theory of value as intellect...

Another Miami Dolphin Suspended For PEDs
Miami Dolphins safety Reshad Jones has been suspended four games for violating the league's policy on performance enhancing drugs, the NFL announced today in a classic Friday news dump....

The Chiefs Are Buddying Up To Native American Groups
Whether it be for self-preservation or just out of an admirable instinct to do the right thing, the Kansas City Chiefs are making a concerted effort to solicit local Native groups' input into their pageantry and traditions. What a concept....

Maurkice Pouncey Expected To Be Charged With Battery
Pittsburgh Steelers center Maurkice Pouncey is expected to be charged with battery as early as today stemming from his role in a nightclub brawl, according to the attorney of one of the victims who said he had been briefed by police....

Chiefs Fan Gets Tasered By Arrowhead Security
Not only did this Chiefs fan get tasered at last night's preseason game, he went through the ordeal while suffering the indignity of having a meme shouted at him by the peanut gallery....

Joe Theismann Shills For Dan Snyder And Redskins Facts Site
As the two-minute warning approached in the first half of the Washington's preseason opener against the Patriots, Kenny Albert casually asked the Joe Theismann muppet with Dan Snyder's hand up its ass what it thought about the name controversy. Strap in, kids, Theismann has done a lot of research on...

Bryce Harper Hits Walk-Off Home Run After Talk Of Demotion To Minors
Washington asks "should Bryce Harper be sent to the minors?" Bryce Harper answers "this is a very short debate."...

Javier Baez Can't Stop Mashing Taters
The Cubs' 21-year-old infield superprospect did some more bad things to baseballs today in Colorado, collecting his second and third career home runs. ...

Here's An Odd Video Of Someone Bathing Floyd Mayweather
Floyd Mayweather, an Instagram celebrity who boxes on the side, doesn't want you to forget that he lives a life of dumb luxury, so he does things like post a video of a woman bathing him. According to Floyd, this washing happens every day....

Which NFL Rushing Attacks Do The Most With The Least?
Two years ago, sixth-rounder Alfred Morris held onto his roster spot with a strong preseason and went on to break the Redskins single-season rushing yards record. While steals like Morris are rare, they're also instructive. Some teams invest far fewer resources in their rushing attacks without losin...

Don't Buy All The Pies At Burger King To Spite A Child, You Asshole
By now you likely have encountered this thing, currently wending its way across the internet. In short, the story goes that the guy—a redditor (of course) known as thr111—spited the whiny, out-of-control child and distracted, defensive mother behind him in line at Burger King by purchasing every ...

ESPN Hires Executive Editor To Run Jason Whitlock's "Black Grantland"
ESPN has just announced that it has hired Amy DuBois Barnett as executive editor of its new Jason Whitlock-led website geared toward African Americans....

Roddy White Finally Made Good On That Twitter Bet
Back in March, Falcons wide receiver Roddy White got on Twitter and made a foolish bet with a guy named Brian Hoyt on the Duke-Mercer game. White told Hoyt that he'd give him Falcons season tickets if Mercer beat Duke. Of course, Mercer went on to win. Oops....

Matt Williams Snaps At Reporters Over Talk Of Bryce Harper Demotion
On the radio Wednesday morning, Nationals manager Matt Williams was thrown a hypothetical question about the struggling Bryce Harper, and whether he thought a stint in the minors could help him. It was sort of a tossed-off question, one thoroughly and unequivocally answered by Williams. But he reall...

NBA Rookies Are Receiving The Best Advice
The New York Times's Sarah Lyall is at the NBA Rookie Transition Program, where the most talented young basketballers in the world learn the important things about their sometimes-rocky transitions to the pros. They're receiving advice on everything from fashion to fan relations to celebrity, an...

Univ. Of Minnesota: Vikings Will Help Ban "Redskins" During Nov. 2 Game
The Vikings will play all of their home games at the University of Minnesota this season, while they wait for a new stadium to be built. In week nine, the Vikings will host Washington and the university's president said the school was "working with the Vikings to make every effort to eliminate the u...

Sounds Like An Improvement
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

MLS Answers With An Insane Goal Of Their Own
MLS equalized against Bayern Munich in the 51st minute and it was every bit as sensational as Robert Lewandowski's. Bobby Boswell pushed the ball up the pitch and Erick Torres headed it further to Bradley Wright-Phillips, where a single touch was all that he needed before blasting it to the top cor...

Robert Lewandowski Scores On Curling Missile Against MLS All-Stars
Lewandowski fired off this rocket for Bayern Munich in the ninth minute of the MLS All-Star Game. Receiving the ball in a crowd of defenders, it didn't look like he had a chance to get anything off, but the ball popped up on his first touch and it actually bought him some time to wind up and kick th...

Jeremy Lin Expertly Dunk Cams His Mom
So what's Jeremy Lin up to this offseason? Oh nothing, just hanging out at his house and pulling off well-orchestrated dunk cams on children, sleeping dudes, and his own damn mother....