hi Page 1254 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
What If A Baseball Player Were As Dominant As LeBron?
I'd like to pretend that I'm above paying attention to the LeBron James circus, but like everyone else, I spent a lot of today just sitting around waiting on some revelatory Adrian Wojnarowski tweet, so that a question like What if someone was just as dominant as LeBron James, but he played baseball...
Aroldis Chapman Nearly Brains Nate Schierholtz Twice; Benches Clear
Today's afternoon Cubs-Reds game featured a bench-clearing when Reds reliever Aroldis Chapman almost hit Nate Schierholtz with one of his triple-digit pitches not once, but twice. ...
YouTube Video Will Cause Actual Hallucinations
This video, from Kent, purports to have hallucinogenic effects so long as you watch it and follow the instructions. I have watched the video and can confirm: YEP I FEEL WEIRD. But it's totally worth doing it because life is boring and seeing everything turn all wavy is rad....
CrossFit Sues "Competitor" For Revealing Its Injury Rates
CrossFit, America's high school weight room for adults, is suing the National Strength and Conditioning Association for publishing a study it says is "based on data that is objectively false" and "intended to scare participants away from CrossFit." ...
Jonny Gomes Takes Ball To The Face, Still Earns Outfield Assist
Consider this the opposite of Jackie Bradley, Jr.'s catch....
Red Sox Outfielder Jackie Bradley, Jr. Lays Out For A Magnificent Catch
Jackie Bradley, Jr.'s been a lackluster hitter for the Red Sox, but his play in the outfield can make up for it. (His averages will improve with time, anyway.) Bradley's fielding prowess was put on display tonight when he went a long way to rob White Sox catcher Tyler Flowers of a hit....
Kevin Kiermaier Hit A Liner Straight Through Eric Hosmer's Glove
I have no idea who Kevin Kiermaier is, but he hit a baseball harder than shit last night. He hit it so hard that it went straight through Eric Hosmer's damn glove....
Jonathan Toews And Patrick Kane Are Getting <em>Paid</em>, And They're Worth It
Today the Chicago Blackhawks announced identical eight-year contract extensions for forwards Jonathan Toews and Patrick Kane. They will run through the 2022-23 season, and each will carry an annual cap hit of $10.5 million a year. This is a lot of money, and it's also almost painfully reasonable....
Sexologists Masters And Johnson Were Cardinals Fans. Duh.
"Particularly for young people," Thomas Maier noted in a recent essay, "unaware of Masters and Johnson, it's difficult to appreciate how much has changed between the mid-'60s and today. But at the time they were becoming famous, the couples' graphs, charts and photos of human sexual response—learnin...
Alleged Murderer Has Cardinals And White Sox Logos Among His Face Tats
This Chicago man has been arrested and charged with murder after allegedly shooting and killing a man over the 4th of July weekend. Aside from being the kind of guy who allegedly shoots people and gets "Fuck The World" tattooed on his forehead, he also appears to be a fan of both the St. Louis Cardi...
White Sox Coach Aggressively Adjusts Himself
Yeah, baseball features a lot of junk adjusting, but this rustling by White Sox bench coach Mark Parent seems like overkill. ...
Germany-Brazil, Summarized By A Roomba
This might be my favorite recap of the Germany-Brazil match. Brazil were so awful, a damn Roomba clowned them on Instagram....
Tony Wroten Nearly Flees From His Own Incredible Shammgod Crossover
Tony Wroten's Shammgod crossover is spectacular, but what we are really here to admire is how damn excited Wroten is about his Shammgod crossover....
Why Redshirting Your Kindergartener Is Dumb
Before we get to the Funbag, Craggs wanted me to do a cattle call for audio and/or video of your local nutjob coach screaming at players. So if your indoor equestrian coach is chewing you out for hours at a time, and you had the moxie to take a video of said rant, send it on in. We won't yell at you...
Will Germany's Misuse Of Their Best Player Doom Them This World Cup?
Joachim Löw knew something needed to change. ...
Fugitive Arrested After Making Dumb Redskins Joke In Newspaper
Here is a tip for anyone that is currently a fugitive: Do not let a newspaper put your picture and full name in print, even if it is in the service of crapping on the Washington Redskins' racist name....
"Dear...Hero": Dan Gilbert's Comic Sans Letter, Edited For 2014 LeBron
LeBron James is back on the free-agent market for the first time since he left his hometown Cleveland Cavaliers for the Miami Heat. Doesn't all that summer's bitterness seem so long ago now? Might James want to try playing with a star guard who has two working legs? He might, right? He hasn't said h...
Political Blogger Hired By Redskins Resigns After Two Weeks
When it comes to attempts to defend the team name backfiring embarrassingly, Washington remains undefeated. Ben Tribbett, a left-leaning political blogger recently hired to "help the team promote a tradition that means so much to so many people," has announced his intention to resign....
Here's What Middle-Aged Napoleon Dynamite And Pedro Look Like
Reader Brian sent along his friend's photo, which he claims was taken in Idaho. He believes the men in the photo look like Napoleon Dynamite and Pedro, "40 years in the future." We can see it....