hi Page 1433 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Derrick Rose Talked About His Comeback And It Was Sad
Welcome to your Sad Derrick Rose update. Previously, we shared a collection of soul-crushing headlines about the progress of Sad Derrick Rose's rehab. Then, we found this GIF-like thing (it's called a vine) of Sad Derrick Rose executing a spin move and a layup with all the explosiveness of a dad ge...

The Seven Stages Of Phil Knight Not Knowing What The Hell He's Talking About
The NCAA and Louis Freeh have found spots on Phil Knight's ever-changing shit list. One group never on the list? The Paternos; Knight's feelings for the late Joe Paterno and his family have never wavered. Rather, he's just struggled with accepting those feelings depending on who happened to have re...

Blake Griffin Switches Hands Mid-Dunk
This is reminiscent of (but not nearly as pretty as) Michael Jordan switching hands in Game 2 of the 1991 Finals against the Lakers. It's not as fluid and obvious as Jordan, but that same hesitation is there and, anyway, Griffin's game has never been about pretty. It's about power and this is what...

This Full-Court, Bouncing Shot From A High School Basketball Game Is Bananas
Lewis Palmer high school junior Anna Olson heaved this shot almost the entire length of the court in the final moments of the third quarter (though enough time remained to take the ball up court) against Cheyenne Mountain high school in Colorado. Or, she at least tried to heave it the entire lengt...

Washington Redskins "Proudly" Defend Their Name In The Dumbest Way Possible
Here in the 21st century, there is a growing sentiment that the Washington Redskins should finally adopt a less offensive team name. DC mayor Vincent Gray wants the name changed. Longtime DC newsman and real-life Sugar Bear Jim Vance wants the name changed. And Mike Florio wants RGIII to want the na...

2002-03 Chicago Bulls, Ranked According To Likelihood The Player Was Getting Baked Before Games
"There were guys smoking weed before games," Jay Williams recalled of his rookie year with the Bulls, his only season in the league. "Guys asking in the middle of the game, 'Do you smell popcorn?'" Which guys, exactly, Williams does not specify. So here's a list of the 2002-03 Bulls, ranked from lea...

Bill Murray Fed His Divot To A Fan At The Pebble Beach Pro-Am
Last year, Bill Murray showed up at the Pebble Beach Pro-Am wearing a ghillie suit and ready to punt some footballs, so it was hard to imagine how he could possibly one-up himself at this year's tournament. And yet, that's exactly what he did....

Michael Vick Is Staying With The Eagles, Let's Get Excited
Word just came down that Michael Vick, who was previously pegged as a prime candidate to be released by the Philadelphia Eagles due to the $15 million left on his contract, will in fact be staying in Philly for at least one more season. Vick and the Eagles restructured his deal, and he now has a on...

The Best Detail In The <i>NYT</i>'s Jay Williams Profile Is, Of Course, About Michael Jordan
The New York Times published a profile of former Duke star Jay (Jason) Williams over the weekend, and it's worth a read. It details the motorcycle accident that derailed Williams's career after a 95-13 three-year run in Durham and just a single season in the NBA, and the rather incredible rehabilita...

What The Paterno Family's Investigation Got Right And Wrong About The Freeh Report
The Paterno family's exhaustive evaluation of the Freeh report, prepared by the family's attorney and other experts who were paid to reach the conclusions the family wanted, is right about this much: The proof that Joe Paterno orchestrated or even participated in a malicious cover-up of Jerry Sandus...

How'd Those Fans Get There? A Deeper Dive Into The Facebook NFL Fandom Map
After weeks of us awkwardly guessing who wanted to watch which NFL games, Facebook finally used its terrifying trove of user data and made the map that no one else could. In our original post, we pointed out some of the more surprising fan pockets, but the data deserve a deeper dive. ...

Clark Kellogg On Victor Oladipo And A Baby's Bottom: "Smooth And Sometimes Explosive"
Indiana, clutching to its No. 1 ranking for a few more days, bounced back from an upset loss to Illinois Thursday night and beat Ohio State today 81-68....

Soccer Player Who "Went For A Shit" Pretends To Wipe His Ass In Goal Celebration
Back on January 21 against Everton, Southampton midfielder Jason Puncheon left the pitch for a brief moment and returned to a chorus of "He went for a shit" chants. Everyone laughed and had a good time at his expense. Yesterday, Puncheon scored against Man City in the seventh minute and returned t...

Watch <i>Seinfeld</i> Slowed Down And Try Not To Die Laughing
Jerry's high-pitched nasal voice still shines through, but it's got a little drunk-guy-in-the-corner-of-the-bar-talking-to-no-one-in-particular vibe to it now that it's been slowed down. A tip of the cap to Samer's friend who does not use Twitter for bringing this to our attention....

Here Is The Paterno Family's Response To The Freeh Report
Joe Paterno’s family’s PR machine is up and running. The family of the late Penn State coach’s response to the Freeh report is now live online, and three of the four men who prepared the report—former Pennsylvania governor and ex-U.S. attorney general Dick Thornburgh, Paterno family attorney Wick So...

Should You Storm The Court? An All-Purpose Guide
Four of the top five teams in college hoops lost on the road this week. When that happens, students storm courts. Illinois hits a last-second bunny to break a tie with No. 1 Indiana? That's a stormin'. TCU, heretofore winless in the Big 12, never trailed on the way to embarrassing No. 5 Kansas? That...

Phil Mickelson Fell Down
In the unquestionable sports highlight of this or any year, Phil Mickelson fell on his ass today while trying to find a golf ball at Pebble Beach....

This Heartwarming Story About A Small-Town High School Basketball Game Will Warm Your Heart
The Oregonian just published a story (with video!) that the reporter realized wouldn't jilt the planet off its axis. The lead, after all, reads: "In a small gym in the middle of nowhere, two boys locked eyes last fall in the final seconds of a meaningless, one-sided high school basketball game." Su...

How To Make A Pasta With Anchovies (And Other Stuff): A Guide For The Unafraid
It's pasta time! We'll do a simple pasta preparation, oh, once a month or so, because they're a nice respite from braising a pork shoulder for a month and whisking butter for the entirety of human history, and because pasta is a fun, cheap, quick way to whip up something unreasonably tasty and then ...

Watch Wisconsin's Ben Brust Hit A Half-Court Buzzer Beater To Get The Badgers Into Overtime In Their Win Over Michigan
Wheeee! (Is it just us, or does the P.A announcer literally say "Wheeeee" after the shot?) That's Ben Brust of Wisconsin hitting one of his four threes on the day, and getting Wisconsin into an overtime against #3-ranked Michigan. Well, formerly #3-ranked Michigan. The Badgers outscored the Wolver...