hi Page 1436 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

If This Play Is Any Indication, We Should All Start Watching Rugby
Rugby isn't just ruptured testicles (though we'd probably pay more attention to it if it was): It's a game of heart, toughness, crafty play under pressure and occasional improvisational brilliance. This, a score by Ireland in its match against Wales earlier today, is the best rugby play we have ev...

Texas Assistant Coach Major Applewhite Was Disciplined For "Inappropriate, Consensual Behavior With An Adult Student" Four Years Ago
Former University of Texas quarterback and current UT co-offensive coordinator and quarterbacks coach Major Applewhite (that's his first name, not his rank) was disciplined in 2009 by the University of Texas for an infraction now being described as, if we're accurately connecting the very clear dot...

I Think Bernie Parent Wants To Sex Us All
That tingling in your loins? Don't be alarmed. It's natural. Because even if their owners aren't aware, nether regions across North America have a way of knowing when they're about to be served up to a burly French Canadian. Lay down a tarp and prepare for a flood of lovejuice, because Bernie Parent...

An Exclusive Interview With The Lady Who Owns The "@Pelicans" Twitter Handle
When news leaked out that the New Orleans Hornets would be changing their name to the Pelicans, each person online seemed to have an opinion. We at Deadspin endorsed it. Yahoo Answers did not. But everyone trying to think through the symbolism of the team's new name missed a more essential concern: ...

The Piggyback Bandit Has Struck Again
Sherwin Shayegan, aka the Piggyback Bandit, hasn't been seen or heard from since his summer star-turn, which culminated with this exhaustive account of his sad adventures by Grantland's Bryan Curtis. But earlier this week, Shayegan was back at it after a basketball game at a midwestern junior colleg...
![Live Los Angeles Police Standoff Features Suspect Doing Whippit After Whippit [UPDATE: Video Highlights]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Live Los Angeles Police Standoff Features Suspect Doing Whippit After Whippit [UPDATE: Video Highlights]
This is amazing. A slow-speed Los Angeles car chase that began as a DUI pursuit appears to have stalled, as the suspect sits in his car, filling up balloon after balloon from a canister, then inhaling the contents. He's surrounded by police with guns drawn....

FIBA: No, D.C. High School Basketball Star Junior Etou Really Is 20 Years Old. It Says So On His Birth Certificate.
In response to our report that its newest basketball star will turn 21 years old this year, Bishop O'Connell High School is standing by its, um, man. But that support's not making Junior Etou any younger in the eyes of global basketball authorities, who now say they have an "official" copy of the pl...

New Hampshire Man Can't Get His 27 Orphaned Bear Cubs To Go The Hell To Sleep
You know what's not easy? Taking care of 27 orphaned bear cubs. Sure, bear cubs are cute and furry, and helping to keep them alive probably fills one with a warming sense of accomplishment, but all that good stuff fades away when the bears won't stop fidgeting and just fucking go to sleep already....

Russell Westbrook Had A Strange Meltdown On The Bench Last Night
The Oklahoma City Thunder blew out the Memphis Grizzlies last night, but an easy victory didn't stop Russell Westbrook from going a little crazy in the third quarter. After being called for a five-second violation, Westbrook returned to the bench and threw a tantrum. Luckily, assistant coach Mo Ch...

Here’s Manti Te’o Hoaxer Ronaiah Tuiasosopo Performing What He Claims Is Lennay Kekua’s Voice
When the first part of Dr. Phil's exclusive interview with Ronaiah Tuiasosopo concluded yesterday, we were left with a cliffhanger: would Ronaiah finally give in to the good Doctor's demands and perform the voice of Lennay Kekua? Today we got the answer: sort of. [Update, March 3, 2014: The video ha...

The Deadspin 2012-2013 Fantasy Football Awards
A few months ago, we compiled a Fantasy Football Almanac of results from 1970 to 2011. Now we're ready to update the almanac for the 2012 season, with awards for the best players and some new data as well. Take a look, then add your comments, analyses, quibbles, and rants in the discussion below....

Adrian Wojnarowski's Latest Column Features A Sick Burn On John Hollinger
Adrian Wojnarowski's latest Yahoo column is a thorough think piece about what the Memphis Grizzlies' decision to trade Rudy Gay to the Toronto Raptors means for the future of NBA free agency. It's a perfectly fine read, but what caught our attention was this paragraph, tucked away near the end of t...

Phil Mickelson Came <em>Thisclose</em> To Shooting A 59 Today
This is sort of agonizing. On the last hole of the Phoenix Open today, this birdie putt lipped out for Phil Mickelson. Had he holed it, he would have shot a 59, which is golf's answer to baseball's .400, i.e. the outer bound of human ability. Only five golfers have shot a 59 on the PGA Tour. Micke...

Here's Everything Ronaiah Tuiasosopo Told Dr. Phil In Day One Of His Exclusive Interview
Ronaiah Tuiasosopo—the man behind Lennay Kekua, Manti Te'o's fake dead girlfriend—today told Dr. Phil new details about the "romantic" relationship he had with Te'o. Put however much stock you like in these details: Tuiasosopo is an avowed liar and hoaxer....

Which Harbaugh Brother Would Philandering Ladies Prefer To Hump? Who Cares, Let's Make Sex Jokes
It's the week before the Super Bowl, which means that our inbox is getting flooded with stupid press releases. One in particular, from someone affiliated with AshleyMadison.com (a website where married people can find other married people to bone), is very stupid but also attention-grabbing. The we...

On <em>Dr. Phil</em>, Ronaiah Tuiasosopo Says He's Trying "To Recover From Homosexuality"
Part one of Ronaiah Tuiasosopo's silence-breaking sit-down with Dr. Phil airs all over the nation today. (Check your local listings for the precise time.) The Associated Press got its hooks into an early broadcast—our Tim Burke has marshaled one, too, and he'll be posting highlights shortly—and quot...

J.J. Watt "Proposes" To His Six-Year-Old Biggest Fan
Earlier this month, one of those "crying children" viral video made the rounds. But this one was different: it wasn't the usual kid crying because their team lost. Six-year-old Breanna was upset that she wasn't 25, because if she were, she would be able to marry Texans star J.J. Watt....

Dan Marino Fathered A Love Child With A CBS Production Assistant
Today's New York Post features a story about former NFL quarterback and current CBS football analyst Dan Marino impregnating a former CBS Sports production assistant. Marino, who has been a CBS pregame analyst since 2003, had an affair with Donna Savattere at some point in 2004, which led to Savatte...

This Wayne Rooney Scarf Looks An Awful Lot Like Hitler
Manchester United increased their standing atop the Premiership ladder thanks to a 2-1 win over Southampton yesterday driven by a Wayne Rooney brace that brought fans at Old Trafford to their feet, if they weren't already upon them....

Signing Day Is Next Week, But The Nation's Top Recruit Already Has His Announcement Scheduled
Defensive end Robert Nkemdiche is probably the most sought-after recruit in the nation. Any college football program that matters has made him an offer, and Tennessee too. But Nkemdiche can't officially make his choice until National Signing Day, which is next Wednesday. It's going to be a made-for-...