hi Page 1482 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Chicago Man Stabs Bar Patron In The Neck, Throws His Own Shit All Over A Police Station

Having to go the bathroom at a bar is the worst. It always smells like piss and shit, everything is either soaking wet or sticky, drunk dudes always want to strike up a conversation, and sometimes crazy people jump out from the bathroom stall and stab you in the neck with a broken beer bottle. From...

Root For Adrian Peterson, Because Football Is An Asshole

After running for 157 yards against the Bears on Sunday, Adrian Peterson is 506 yards away from breaking the single-season rushing record, something he told SI's Peter King that he is very serious about doing. It's a stretch, but not quite an impossible stretch: Peterson is averaging 123 rushing ya...

The Shitty Parent's Guide To Children's Christmas Presents

Christmas is coming, which gives you a golden opportunity to squander money and add to the mounting clutter inside your home. There are millions of options when it comes to buying presents for your children and then pretending that Santa gave them those presents and then resenting the fact that the ...

The Kick Is Up, And It's Good!: Your Sunday NFL GIF Roundup [Updated]

We'll be putting all our GIFs for the day here, from the double-bird field goal salute, Rex Ryan digesting a delicious meal and Lee Smith being eaten by Bills fans. We'll update the post as the later games conclude, so stay tuned. ...

Lionel Messi Scores Record-Breaking 86th Goal Less Than A Week After Going Down With Injury

Call him "MESSI-ah." The world's greatest association footballer capped off his best year ever by breaking Gerd Müller's 40-year-old record of 85 goals in a calendar year midway through the first half of a La Liga match at Betis after tying the record minutes earlier.. That he did so mere days aft...

Welp, The Worst Free Throw Of All Time Was Shot Last Night And Will Never Be Equaled

Brian Okam is a 7-0 junior center who was born in Nigeria and went to high school at Lake Highland, in Florida. Last year, he attempted four free throws and made two of them. Yesterday, he did that, which counts for twenty-eight missed free throws, six losses for Appalachian State, and a rescinded...

Here's Tracy McGrady Blatantly And Maliciously Elbowing The Crap Out Of A Chinese League Basketball Player

Tracy McGrady's squad, the Qingdao Eagles (AKA the Qingdao DoubleStar Eagles), was down big in what we think was probably the fourth quarter of this CBA (Chinese Basketball Association) game. A player on the other team hits a three to push the deficit to 22 and then does approximately what we woul...

The Last Tackle Of Jovan Belcher's Life Left Him Shaken Up

Last week, a friend of Jovan Belcher's told us that "if you review the footage of the Cincinnati game [Belcher] took a few hits to the head directly" and described how, after that game, Belcher "was dazed and was suffering from short term memory loss."...

Meet AJ Matthews, The 7-1 NBA Talent Playing At Farmingdale State Because No One Told Him About The SATs

Yahoo recently published a profile of AJ Matthews, Farmingdale State center and favorite for Division III player of the year. It shouldn't be surprising that he's kicking ass at Farmingdale State—he's 7-1 and athletic, a late-comer to basketball but also the recipient of a good deal of coaching sinc...

Cowboys DT Josh Brent Arrested On Charges Of Intoxication Manslaughter, Victim Reported To Be Member Of Cowboys' Practice Squad [Updating]

Many are reporting that the Cowboys' Josh Brent has been arrested today for intoxication manslaughter, and that the victim of the crash was Jerry Brown Jr., a Cowboys practice squad player. Brent is a nose tackle with three years of experience (profile here); Brown Jr. was a 23 25-year-old lineback...

Workers Are Picketing The Pac-12 Network Broadcasts Today, So Be Sure To Tune In For Some Technical Difficulties [Update]

The Los Angeles Times reports that technical workers for the Pac-12 network—all members of the IATSE— have walked out, and will be on site picketing all Pac-12 networks broadcasts today:...

"Minimum of 5 Years Of Successful Collegiate Football Coaching Experience Preferred": You Can Apply To Coach Wisconsin Football

You only have 11 days to ready your application, and you have to possess a bachelor's degree, but the rest of it is all optional: If you sent in a good enough application—and really, that's just about confidence—you could probably wow them enough that they would waive their "preference" for a coach...

Eliminating Kickoffs Would Ruin Football, According To A Kicker And A Kick Return Specialist

Yesterday, we discussed the possibility that the NFL will do away with kickoffs and instead institute a punt-or-4th-and-long option. On its face, the idea seems logical, maybe even preferable, if not necessarily a top-priority reform. The NFL can frame it as an issue of player safety, but truthfully...

"I Have To Deal With My Other Girl, Man," Jovan Belcher Says In Police Dash-Cam Video At 3 A.M. The Day Of Murder-Suicide

In the video, police walk up to Belcher's car, tap on his windows, and talk with him about his job ("What position do you play?"), whether he would be driving anywhere else, and what his plans were for the night. The sound starts at 4:56, whereupon Belcher assures the first officer that he didn't ...

The Cubs' New Japanese Pitcher Accidentally Told The Press He Wouldn't Care If Chicago Traded Him

Today the Cubs officially introduced new signing Kyuji Fujikawa, because any time you can lock up a 32-year-old middle reliever who's never pitched in the MLB for two years and $9.5 million, you have to pull the trigger. Fujikawa met with the media at Wrigley Field, and though he speaks a decent amo...

Here's An Awesome Dunk That Was Ruined By A Stupid Referee Who Called It A Charge

That's Jacksonville College's Daniel Skinner, a junior-college basketball player who likes to dunk on any dumbass who gets in his way, pulling off what was very nearly a free-throw line dunk in a game against Tyler Junior College....

Santa Fired For Telling A 3-Year-Old The Maple Leafs Suck

Here it is, the best thing to come out of Toronto since this picture of Rob Ford drunk. A mall Christmas market Santa traumatizing the very first child on line to meet him....

The Dolphins are mad because the Patriots kept running the same play. They should probably be mad they couldn't stop it....

Deadspin NBA Shit List: Tony Massenburg, Everywhere Man

A celebration of the NBA's most infuriating players, both past and present. Read other NBA Shit List entries here....

Trade Rumor: The Washington Redskins For The FBI

There are two, seemingly unrelated real estate issues in and around our nation's capital. The FBI is seeking to move out of its dilapidated, Brutalist ugly headquarters in downtown Washington, and officials from DC, Maryland, and Virginia are all trying to lure the bureau to their districts. Meanwhi...