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Jay Paterno: The Freeh Report Contains "No New Facts," Just "Some New Interpretations Of Things"
In all seriousness, I can't imagine how difficult today must be for the Paterno family. That said, at this point, it's probably best for all of them to decline to comment further. Paterno's son, Jay, went on SportsCenter about an hour ago and dismissed the findings of the Freeh Group as "really an...

Penn State Failed To Comply With Federal Law For Two Decades
Aside from being morally repugnant, Penn State officials' failure to report the incident concerning Jerry Sandusky sexually assaulting Victim 2 to the university police department in 2001 was a violation of federal law....

Penn State's Board Of Trustees Hired The Freeh Group, But They Did Not Escape Its Scrutiny
Back in January, just two months after the grand jury issued its findings about Jerry Sandusky, 13 of the 32 members of Penn State's board of trustees gave a group interview to the New York Times. In it, they essentially said they were blindsided when the grand jury report became public: "We found o...

Last Night's <em>The Franchise: Miami Marlins</em> Distilled Down To Its Motherfucking Essence
The Miami Marlins all-access curse-fest that is The Franchise premiered last night on Showtime, and the first episode made for enjoyable viewing (more enjoyable, at least, than the ESPY Awards, which it ran against). Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria bet the house on the 2012 season, hoping a new stadiu...

Roddy White Said Some Stupid Things About Penn State On Twitter Today
After the Freeh report's release this morning, few have come to the defense of Joe Paterno and the Penn State administration. But fear not, citizens of Happy Valley: Falcons wide receiver Roddy White is here to defend your coach's honor. White took to Twitter this morning to tell Mark May to shut up...

Nike Strips Joe Paterno's Name From Its Child Care Center
Despite insisting in November Joe Paterno's name would remain on the Nike world headquarters child care center, the prominent apparel company reversed course in light of the news in today's Freeh Report, telling Darren Rovell the Joe Paterno Child Development Center will be renamed:...

Freeh Report: Detective Alludes To Penn State Administrators' Habit Of Interfering With Investigations
Ronald Shreffler, a detective in the police department at Penn State, was first informed of the 1998 Jerry Sandusky shower incident on the morning of May 4, 1998, one day after it happened. Within 30 minutes, he had interviewed the boy now known to the world as Victim 6. And later that afternoon, Sh...

Freeh Report: Joe Paterno Knew In 1998
In his testimony before the grand jury investigating Jerry Sandusky, Joe Paterno denied knowing anything about the 1998 incident in which Sandusky was investigated but never charged after police received a report from a woman who claimed Sandusky had showered with her son and touched the boy. And in...

In 1998, Buying $400 Worth Of Clothes For A Player Got You Banned From Penn State. Being Investigated For Child Sexual Assault Did Not.
One of the central themes of the Freeh Report is the hopelessly twisted moral compass of the former Penn State administration. The report concludes that university leaders were far more concerned with protecting the school from bad publicity than they were with protecting the victims of abuse:...

Here Is The Official Report Of Louis Freeh's Investigation Into Penn State
The findings of the former FBI director Louis Freeh's months-long inquiry into Penn State has just been made public on the Freeh Group's website. There's much to parse through, and obviously many questions to be asked. We've already shown you some preliminary documents we believe were preparation ma...

The Freeh Report Will Conclude Paterno's Firing Was Warranted, According To These Preparation Documents
Joe Paterno did not "do all he should have" to report Jerry Sandusky's child abuse and evidence supports his termination, according to documents we believe to be preparation material for this morning's press conference at the release of the Freeh Report....

Black Hawk Helicopter Pilot Survives 50-Foot Fall During Alaskan Mountain Race
At 12:50 pm on July 4, photographer Carol Griswold captured this amazing photograph of 34-year-old Penny Assman, a Black Hawk helicopter pilot from Utah who served two tours in Iraq, coming to the conclusion of a 50-foot slide-and-fall during the annual Mount Marathon footrace. Basically, everyone r...

Joe Paterno’s Defenders Aren’t Crazy, Just Blind. Here’s How They Got That Way.
An interesting thing to do in the central Pennsylvania college town where I live and work is to walk around the town and campus and make a list of all the things that remind you of the recently deceased football coach. These include but are not limited to: Joegies, the sandwich shop in the student u...

The U.S. Olympic Uniforms Are Socialist Propaganda, According To Pro-American Internet Commenters
Welcome to another installment of the Fox Nation commenter essays. Please prepare yourself for lots of caps lock....

Read The Full Saga Of The Piggyback Bandit
Back in 2009, we wrote about the strange antics of Sherwin Shayegan, otherwise known as the Piggyback Bandit. Intrigued by Sherwin's story, the fine folks at Grantland sent Bryan Curtis on the bandit's trail in the hopes that some sense could be made of the man's obsession with piggyback rides....

Angler's Worst Nightmare Comes True As "Big-Ass Shark" Steals The Fish Right Off Her Hook
I was thinking this morning that we really don't cover fishing enough here at Deadspin, and sure enough CBS blogger Will Brinson tweeted out a link to this video that's pretty much perfect....

Phillies Announcer Melts Down: "Somebody Figure Out How To Fucking Get Scott Hairston Out!"
Scott Hairston owns the Phillies. Just plain steals their lunch and eats it in front of them, then poops in the bag and gives it back. He's a journeyman against everyone else, an All-Star against Philly....

Kansas City's Smoky Air Turned Bryce Harper Into A Zombie
The National League spanked the AL in last night's All-Star Game, which may actually be news to you given ratings almost certainly went down yet again for the Midsummer Classic....

Your Kids Will Love Playing "Human Bowling Ball," The Most Insane Backyard Game Ever
It costs $4,500, it's easy to set up, and it lets you live out your American Gladiators-induced dreams of riding around inside a giant ball, wreaking havoc on your surroundings. It's called the Human Bowling Ball, and it's basically a giant, inflatable bowling game that lets you (the ball) knock dow...
![The World's Craziest Home Run Derby Was A Rousing Success [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17sfwc5jdgdesjpg.jpg)
The World's Craziest Home Run Derby Was A Rousing Success [UPDATE]
We gave you fair warning about the world's weirdest Home Run Derby a few days ago, the one with the on-field party, live entertainment, and trampoline in left field, among other attractions. Well, lest you think that was all just bluster and hype, here's a photo of Ryan Petzar of 97.3 ESPN Radio try...