hi Page 1512 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Mario Balotelli Didn't Start Today's Match, Scored A Wondergoal Anyway
It proved meaningless in the competition—Italy was headed to the Euro 2012 quarterfinals anyway—but Mario Balotelli's goal in the 90th minute of today's Group C bout between the Azzurri and Ireland warrants our consideration regardless....
Editor's Note: Suggesting Dan Snyder Is A Bullshitter Is Not As Libelous As Writing, "Dan Snyder Blows Dogs"
The previous post on Deadspin might have given the impression that Redskins owner Dan Snyder is a liar. Snyder takes such accusations very seriously, and so do we, which is why we now endeavor to answer the question: Is it libelous to suggest that Dan Snyder is a lying-ass shitbag vulgarian?...
Dan Snyder's Official Team Bio Is A Tour De Force Of Bullshit
When you think of Redskins owner Dan Snyder, you think of a miserable, gutless sack of shit who ruined a franchise and made an entire fanbase hate his guts. Ah, but that's just how Dan Snyder is perceived in the real world. The world of official team bios, on the other hand, is magical place where a...
Somehow, Jerry Sandusky's Defense Strategy Is Even Worse Than Imagined
Since Jerry Sandusky's arrest last November, Lawyerin' Joe Amendola has made it ridiculously easy to make fun of his unique brand of lawyerin'. At the same time, given that Lawyerin' Joe decided to drag this case to trial despite all the evidence against his client, it was still reasonable to assume...
Ohio Man Wants Buckeye Removed As State Tree Because It's A "Bisexual" Plant
Earlier this month, in the letters to the editor section of the Findlay (Ohio) Courier, this gem ran:...
Man Gives Child Baseball, Child Tries To Throw Baseball Back
We saw something like this happen earlier in the season with a young Royals fan in Kansas City. This time the setting was Tampa Bay, where once again the impressionable little guy was only mimicking what he was watching out on the field. Note that at the very end of the video the father had the ball...
David Nalbandian Could Face Criminal Charges After Injuring Line Judge
We thought Nalbandian suffered enough yesterday after taking out his frustrations on the base of a linesman's chair. The wooden board splintered, drawing blood from the confused and angry judge, and Nalbandian was disqualified from the final of the Aegon Championships (not a Game of Thrones refere...
Jerry Sandusky Still Has A Legal Advantage Over His Accusers Because Pennsylvania Law Is Still Stupid
Prosecutors have identified all but two of the 10 men Jerry Sandusky is accused of sexually assaulting as children. All eight of those known victims finished testifying Thursday, so those of us following the trial are hereby spared from any more nauseating details of the former Penn State defensive ...
Anthony Hargrove's Agent Blasts The NFL For "Semantics-Gate"
Tomorrow, Roger Goodell is set to hear the appeal on all four current and former Saints players who have been suspended for their respective roles in the alleged New Orleans bounty program. On Friday, the NFL released less than 200 pages worth of documentation it intended to rely upon to uphold the...
Steve Urkel Threw Out The First Pitch In Washington, D.C. Yesterday
The problem with playing such a well-known and ridiculous character is that you completely lose any kind of personal identity you had before playing that character. We all know his name is Jaleel White, but who would ever call him that?...
David Nalbandian Disqualified From Queen's Club Final After Kicking Line Judge
The men's singles final of the Queen's Club Championship came to a bizarre end today as Argentine David Nalbandian defaulted the match after injuring a line judge....
Exclusively From The Mike Tyson Collection: Black Energy
Courtesy of Grant Wahl, comes this bizarre billboard in Poland for some kind of energy drink. There is a whole lot to lovingly scratch your head about here. The idea of a company marketing an energy drink called "Black Energy," for one. The other products that make up the Mike Tyson Collection, for...
Beach Soccer: Come For The Niche Sport, Stay For The Disgusting Knee Injuries
This....I don't know what to say about this. It is, let's call it, unnatural. To my untrained eye it looks like one of two things happened. Either the knee was wrenched in such a way that it dislocated itself from the rest of the leg and that is just straight up femur sticking out or, alternativel...
Curt Schilling Is Now On Leave From ESPN
Well, now that Curt is being sued by Citizens Bank for the $2 million (and other costs) he borrowed as personal guarantor on behalf of his failed video game company, 38 Studios, he's probably due for some time to sort things out. ESPN does expect the Baseball Tonight analyst to return later this se...
Josh Cribbs Organized A Kent State Fan Road Trip To Watch The College World Series
As Kent State and Arkansas get under way in the College World Series, let's pause for a moment to discuss something we actually like. Josh Cribbs, Cleveland Browns kickoff return wizard and Kent State alum, organized a bus trip for the Kent State family, shuttling diehard baseball fans 14 hours to ...
![Fernando Tatís Had A Nice Chat With Homer Simpson On Twitter [CORRECTION]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17py99ljkjesnjpg.jpg)
Fernando Tatís Had A Nice Chat With Homer Simpson On Twitter [CORRECTION]
To hear Fernando Tatís tell it, he learned to speak English from The Simpsons while he was working his way up through the minor leagues. He eventually made it out of the the minors and played 11 season in Major League Baseball for the Rangers, Cardinals, Nationals Expos, Orioles and finally the Met...
Why MLB Should've Given R.A. Dickey His No-Hitter (And Why MLB Didn't)
Earlier today, Barry argued that a no-hitter has a particular, ineffable importance:...
The Mets Consider A "Quiet" Section For Autistic Kids
A couple days ago, the Mets sent out an email survey. Lots of boring questions meant to "improve your ballpark experience," but one caught the eye:...
Danny Welbeck's Brilliant Back-Heel Volley Brought England From Behind To Beat Sweden 3-2
Sweden's Euro 2012 dream is over thanks to Theo Walcott & Danny Welbeck's work late in today's match....
Manny Ramirez's Dreads Will Cause Drug Use, Abortion, Gayness, Blindness, Fan Tells The A's Triple-A Affiliate In Insane Voicemail
This disgruntled fan of the Sacramento River Cats would like you to know that she is NOT fuddy duddy. Nor is she a crackpot. She just thinks that Manny Ramirez's dreadlocks are the reason that "unwholesomeness" is spreading across the American landscape. I strongly urge you to listen to this voic...