hi Page 1561 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

"Donkey Punch" Made Its Way Onto <em>Jeopardy!</em> Tonight
Several readers have already emailed to alert us to this, and we just had to share it with you. Even Alex Trebek sounds like he's smirking a little. Way to take a swing, Mike....

Mike Martz Is Retiring
So reports Jason La Canfora. Martz tells the Chicago Sun-Times "It's time." Ominous. He's turning 61 in May....

PSU's Damage-Control Memos Show "Deepest Concern" For Children (And Your Non-Refundable Donations)
Not long ago, we told you about the stupidly triumphant internal Sandusky memos that got passed around at meetings of the Penn State board of trustees mere days after the scandal broke. The memos, first obtained by the AP (and now by us), showed the low-IQ spinjobbing you've come to expect from so...

Chandler Parsons Just Dunked On JaVale McGee
Sure, it's a tip-slam, but if you're 7'0" JaVale McGee then the likes of Chandler Parsons should not be dunking on you—under any circumstances. Parsons then rides around with his crotch in McGee's face for a few seconds just added to the degradation, but these sorts of things are how a team like ...

The Kansas City Chiefs Might Have The Worst Workplace In America
The Kansas City Star came out with a story that paints a provocative, troubling picture of life in the Chiefs offices under Scott Pioli. To ensure no one would notice, they published it on Saturday night. But we're more than happy to dive in to the tales of a workplace gone mad with paranoia and sec...

Joe Paterno Wants Us To Believe He Has Never Heard Of "Rape And A Man." Joe Paterno Is Full Of Shit.
Sally Jenkins of the Washington Post scored a precious exclusive interview with Joe Paterno last week and summarily pissed away the opportunity by deploying every tired Paterno cliche that gives Joe Posnanski an erection. He's lived in the same house for dickety-two years! He turned down the Pats be...

There's A Hidden Message In The Names Of These Ole Miss Basketball Players
Your morning roundup for Jan. 16, the day we learned Rice Krispies can be dangerous. Photo via @tonyagolini. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Washington State Head Coach Ken Bone Eats It On The Court
Halfway through the second half of the hotly contested battle for the state of Washington, Wazoo head coach Ken Bone is just a tad too exuberant with his request for a timeout. I hope, for his sake, he was able to pick up the spare. [FSN] ...

Hakeem Nicks Hauled In A Halftime Hail Mary
The Green Bay Packers' circumstances for the second half of their playoff game against New York changed enormously when Hakeem Nicks brought down this heave by Eli Manning, turning a three-point Packers deficit into a 20-10 doubling-up. [Fox]...

Darius Morris Hit A 50-Foot Contested Buzzer-Beater
Darius Morris hasn't seen much action for the Lakers this season—the rookie guard has tallied all of 55 minutes thus far—but you might be seeing more of him after this buzzer-beater in last night's 102-94 loss to the Clippers. That or it was just a fluke. (It was just a fluke.) [NBA TV]...

It May Be Professional Lacrosse's Season-Opener, But Teams' Fighting Skills Are In Midseason Form
I'll admit professional lacrosse is a sport beyond my professional purview, so I didn't even know they had hockey-style fights. Last night's season-opener between Rochester and Philadelphia ended with a real rumbler, though, even bringing the goalies out for fisticuffs. In the end, the fight laste...

Here's The Evidence That Alex Smith Really Did Throw A Playoff Game-Winning Touchdown Pass In The Final Seconds
Jim Harbaugh played for the win, and the 49ers delivered it for him on this Alex Smith-Vernon Davis touchdown pass with ten seconds remaning in the game—just a minute and a half after blowing an earlier lead. [Fox]...

Donte Whitner Knocked Pierre Thomas Out Cold With This Helmet-To-Helmet Hit
Legal? According to the NFL. Safe? Smart? You make the call. [Fox]...

Tim Tebow And Nick Saban Pizza Portraiture Is A Thing Now
It goes like this: "in the Tennessee Valley, a Madison pizzeria is going out of the norm to create pizzas in the likeness of football icons." There is little need for further explanation, really. Somewhere in Alabama, pizzeria shop owner "Famous" Joe Carlucci and a high school student have pushed t...

Two Brief Phone Conversations With A Very Loud, Gibbering Scott Paterno
Good ol' Scotty. Kind of the black sheep of the Paterno family. Once referred to as a "morbidly porcine man-child." Also a bit of a wingnut, it seems. I called up JoePa's son today to ask him—not his dad—about some information I'd gotten from a source close to the Paternos. I left Scott a polite mes...

How The Song "Seven Nation Army" Conquered The Sports World
The march toward musical empire began on Oct. 22, 2003, in a bar in Milan, Italy, 4,300 miles away from Detroit. Fans of Club Brugge K.V., in town for their team's group-stage UEFA Champions League clash against European giant A.C. Milan, gathered to knock back some pre-match beers. Over a stereo bl...

Penn State's New President Doesn't Think This Is Penn State's Scandal
Rodney Erickson, the new president of Penn State, is taking questions from concerned alumni this week at a series of townhall-style meetings. Though he's promised a new era of openness and transparency, Erickson displayed plenty of evasiveness and contradiction even before he set out for Pittsburgh...

Sit Back And Enjoy Watching All 39 Of Dwight Howard's Record-Breaking Free-Throw Attempts
100, 55, 20,000. Even casual basketball fans know Wilt Chamberlain's most famous records by heart. Yet the Stilt lost claim to one of his lesser-known NBA marks last night when Orlando's Dwight Howard went to the free-throw line 39 times, smashing the previous record of 34. ...

The Cover Of The New <em>Penn Stater</em> Magazine Is Dark, Demented, And Perfect
The first line of the editor's letter from Tina Hay in the new issue of The Penn Stater makes it clear: "This is not the January/February issue we had planned." And so it is not. The magazine staff had intended to run a cover story on "great concert memories at Penn State." Then the Sandusky story b...

This One's For Anyone Who's Ever Wanted To Tell A Sideline Reporter "I Love You, You're So Pretty And Beautiful"
Greg from Lemont, Sarah Kustok from CSN, you two are just about the cutest couple and this isn't creepy at all. Make it happen. [CSN Chicago]...