hi Page 1566 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

BYU Won The Military Armed Forces Bowl By Bearing False Witness
Brigham Young University, the school that suspends you for daring to have sex, holds no such stringency to the words of the Lord when it comes to running football plays. This one earned the Cougars the Military Armed Forces Bowl trophy and, sure, it's a stretch to call a fake spike "lying," but it...

The Highlights (And Assorted Lowlights) Of 2011, In Under Three Minutes
A collection of highlights and occasional lowlights from 2011, a year of triple plays, juggling catches, buzzer beaters, record-setting performances, Abby Wambach, "We will see you tomorrow night," fathers dropping daughters to catch foul balls, and old men punching each other silly. Enjoy...

The Faces Of 2011: A Gallery Of Derp Portraiture
Roger Goodell Is Going To Be A Big Baby About This Lockout Until The Very End...

Here's All 35 Scoring Plays In Last Night's Alamo Bowl. Yes, 35
It was the highest-scoring regulation bowl game in history, and Baylor's first bowl win in 19 years. Here's how all 123 points were scored in the madness that was last night's Valero Alamo Bowl. [ESPN]...

Albert Haynesworth Is The Worst
From Peter King: "Great note by @AdamSchefter: Bucs are 0-7 with Albert Haynesworth, Pats are 7-0 since waiving him." Three cheers for the disgruntled one!...

The Winter Of A-Rod Continues: He's Dating A Wrestler/Playboy Model/Muscly Blonde
We always suspected Rodriguez's "blood-spinning treatment" was just a metaphor for nailing another toned blonde off the A-Rod girlfriend assembly line. (Hair color can be artificial, and come to think of it, so can the muscles.) Rodriguez has been out and about with Torrie Wilson, a grande dame of p...

Aw, Cheer Up, Guy Who Wore A Big Bear Hand To The Alamo Bowl
Your morning roundup for Dec. 30, the day today just disappeared. Photo via Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Michael Floyd's Champs Sports Bowl Catch Was An Exquisite Juggling Exhibition
The first half of the Champs Sports Bowl in Orlando was a bore, but Notre Dame receiver Michael Floyd spiced things up with this juggling TD grab early in the second half, a catch that put the Irish up 14-0 on the sputtering Florida State Seminoles. [ESPN]...

Prince Fielder And Tim Lincecum Want Long-Term Deals, Andrew Bailey Is Thinking Music, And More From Around The Hot Stove
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!...

Dave McKenna Leaves <em>Washington City Paper</em>, But Not Without Kicking Dan Snyder In The Teeth One Last Time
Snyder, the Redskins' owner, had filed a dumbass libel lawsuit against McKenna earlier this year over a column Snyder acknowledged he hadn't even read. The suit was withdrawn after 218 days, every day of which we proudly linked to what McKenna had initially written. McKenna publicly announced his d...

Some People Don't Want To Believe Lou Williams's Story About Treating His Would-Be Gunman To Fast Food
76ers guard Lou Williams made a few people laugh with his heartwarming tale of nearly being robbed at gunpoint on a Philly street on Christmas Eve, only to be saved because the thief recognized him, after which Williams treated the man to some food at McDonald's. But was it true? There are those in...

Michael Jordan Announced His Engagement To His Model Girlfriend On The Five-Year Anniversary Of His Divorce
Michael Jordan proposed to his 32-year-old model girlfriend, Yvette Prieto, on Christmas. MJ's agent confirmed the engagement today—five years to the day after he and his wife of 17 years, Juanita, announced their divorce. (Juanita, for the record, did just fine.) Mr. and Mrs. Airness have been dati...

A Gestural Analysis Of The Miami Heat's Intro Video (In Which Everyone Looks Like A French Sailor)
The over-produced NBA team introduction video is an unfortunate but often hilarious fact of life now, and we may as well accept its extravagance and pyrotechnics as such. But not every team is the Miami Heat, and not every team's introduction video calls to mind the hip-hop super-group music video...

Even At Kim Jong-Il's Funeral, A Yankee Fan
"You must wear a hat! We are in mourning for Dear Leader, so you must cover your head, and also you will catch cold. Go find your best hat; only the finest will do today. Something that screams luxury, but also power. Success and skill. Megalomania and a complete inability to feel empathy for anyo...

Wizards Big Man Hamady Ndiaye Stuffed Himself Into A Mini Car Last Night
Yes, he fit. All seven feet of him. No word on whether he let his knees do the driving. [Twitter, via DC Sports Bog]...

Watch Claude Giroux Set Up A Goal With A Pass To Himself Off The Boards
Giroux said he had tested the boards at the St. Pete Times Forum during the Flyers' morning skate, and he puts what he discovered to the test here, to dazzling effect. The subsequent shot Giroux took bounced right to teammate Scott Hartnell for a goal. Which is all well and good. The Lightning sti...

Erie, Pa. High-School Coach Takes On "Boy Lovers" And "Selfish Pig" Girlfriends In Email Rant
Chet Moffett (right, collecting trash) is the cross-country coach at Cathedral Preparatory School in Erie, Pa. He's also a guidance counselor. And just last week, he was totally pissed off about the lack of fan support for Prep's basketball team in its 51-46 loss to General McLane High. Or as he re...

"Joe Pa" Is Managing A Papa John's In Pittsburgh
Tipster Steve P. just sent in an email with the subject line "Oh how the mighty have fallen..." The Pitt alum figured people would like to know that when he called the Papa John's in the Dormont section of Steelerville, he learned his "pizza experience [is] managed by joe pa." You know, just in cas...

Top 10 All-Time Wrestling Moves List Offends Good Sense By Relegating Jimmy Snuka's Superfly Splash To No. 3
The fact that neither JYD nor George "The Animal" Steele appear on this Top 10 Wrestling Moves of All-Time list can be forgiven, if only because The Dog and The Animal brought an outlier level of showmanship to their athletic pursuits....

Don Cherry's Piano Desk Will Make All Analysts Self-Conscious About Their Gesticulations
A lot of television personalities talk with their hands and bang their fingers on the well-lit lucite before them. It's the larynx-friendly method of conveying outrage. They think no one is watching, but they are wrong—as evidenced by this clever YouTube user's "Don Cherry's Piano Desk." You have ...