hi Page 1621 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
You Can Say "Circumcising Mosquitoes" On <em>PTI</em>, But You Can't Say It Thrice
The gentlemen on Pardon The Interruption exceeded the quota for the amount of times one can say some variation of the phrase "circumcising mosquitoes" on live television today. Cowlishaw, quoting (and imitating) Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, gets in two mentions, but Wilbon never gets his chance. The...
Packers DB Sam Shields Gets Giant, Painful-Looking Super Bowl Ring Tattooed On His Neck
Super Bowl winners receive championship rings—expensive, garish things—but they're tangible. You can hang on to your triumph through karats....
Baseball Game Interrupted By Man In Wedding Dress
Play was stopped at the Nationals-Braves game in Atlanta on Saturday evening so that police officers could take down a streaking fan in a wedding dress. This captivated the crowd and beguiled Davey Johnson....
Chris Kluwe's 'Downfall' Parody Has Hitler Calling Lockout Negotiators "Lazy Shitfucks"
Downfall parodies seem like they're somehow older than the internet by now. But when one is made by an actual NFL player, we're willing to listen. And Vikings punter Chris Kluwe does a pretty good job of capturing what we're all feeling about the lockout these days....
Here's The Alex Morgan Goal That Looked Like It Was Going To Win The World Cup
This game has been stressful to watch. After an uneventful first half, in which the Americans hit every part of the goalposts but couldn't find the back of the net, Alex Morgan finally capitalized on this beautiful goal. Japan tied it up a few minutes later. If you're not watching now — and if you...
According To Nathan Horton's Wife, The Stanley Cup Was Lost In Boston Yesterday
The Stanley Cup itself excites us in ways no other sports trophy does. Some of that comes from its versatility: One can eat and drink from it. Some of that comes from its uniqueness: There's a new Lombardi Trophy every year, but there's only one Cup. And the winning team's players get to take that o...
Turns Out Rachel Uchitel Used To Date Elin Nordegren's New Boyfriend
Aw, the poor girl. She just can't win....
Five North Koreans Tested Positive For Steroids Because They Were Struck By Lightning, Says North Korea
We suspected all along that the DPRK's women's World Cup team would provide us with moments of unintentional comedy, but they've outdone themselves....
On Patrick Kane's Injury
The Blackhawks announced that Kane will undergo surgery to repair a fractured wrist. We were inundated with requests to investigate, because PK is a favorite around these parts....
Reno Mahe, Who Once Returned Kicks, Now Allegedly Takes Gasoline
Reno Mahe spent five years in the NFL, all with the Philadelphia Eagles, for whom he was mainly a return man. Now, authorities in Salt Lake City say he took nearly $2,700 in gasoline by using a friend's corporate account. The 31-year-old spent a little time in jail Thursday after being charged with ...
Today In Great Ledes
"Sports historians will look back on what happened at ESPN's ESPY awards the other night and pinpoint it as the broadcast that signaled the rise of soccer and the death of football." [Chicago Tribune]...
Cubs And Marlins Do Their Best To Out-Lowlight One Another
The Cubs blew a 3 2-0 lead against the Marlins last night in a ninth inning that saw Chicago closer Carlos Marmol booed off the mound by the friendly hometown crowd. The hurt started with this Greg Dobbs hit to right field, which — despite Dewayne Wise's unprovoked face-plant as he headed toward h...
Mall Baby Racing Is A Hong Kong Sunday Afternoon Pastime
The Windsor Mall in Hong Kong gives us a preview of what life will be like if there's no football on Sundays. Like our Chinese friends, we will take to the malls and race our babies. Says our tipster:...
Chelsea's Yossi Benayoun Shows Off A "Cheeky Finish" In A "Behind-Closed-Doors" Friendly Match
EPL powerhouse Chelsea played its first preseason match of the year yesterday. They did so against a woefully overmatched foe, the Wycombe Wanderers. Four minutes in, Yossi Benayoun fancied the ball into the net in a fashion that would stand out even at the end of the season. Good for Yossi. (H/T ...
Ryan Howard's RBI Total Does Not Make Him The Greatest Baseball Player In The Universe, Bill Conlin
Bill Conlin wrote something dumb today. In other news, the sun rose in the east. But we're not going to go after Bill Conlin, because it's been done. Instead we're going to try and put in the simplest terms possible why he and anyone else rejecting advanced statistics out of hand are being willfully...
Justin Timberlake At The All-Star Game: Drunk, Sarcastic, Drunk-Sarcastic, Or Just Obnoxious?
Justin Timberlake has redeemable qualities, doesn't he? He can sing and dance, he is a good SNL host, and he reportedly even has feelings. All this is more than we can say about Joe Buck. So no matter your opinion of the former boy band front-teen, he deserves some credit for agreeing to a live-br...
MLS Proves Soccer Superiority Over EPL With Fluke Goalkeeper Goal
When a mid-table American side takes on a mid-table English side in a friendly, you throw out the record books. San Jose faced off against West Brom last night, and both sides rested most of their starters because, c'mon, it's San Jose vs. West Brom. But that meant that Earthquakes keeper David Bi...
Deadspin Classic: And Now A Selection From Tim McCarver's <em>Great American Songbook</em>, Remixed
Tim McCarver spent the evening talking on your television. Now let him sing you to sleep. Originally published Nov. 13, 2009....
The Last I He'll Ever Dot
The Ohio State University has a special fan site called "O-H-I-O," where worldwide Buckeye fans can post helpful reminders on how to spell the name of the nation's 17th state. In a note titled "Now Dad is the permanent 'I,'" Juli Miracle explains:...
The Best Player In Ohio Commits To Michigan
Remember this darling cherubic face, Ohioans, because he just decommitted from The University and committed to one in Michigan. You know the one. Kyle Kalis, a senior offensive tackle from Lakewood St. Edward in Cleveland, is the top prospect in Ohio, which was exciting when he was committed to Jim ...