hi Page 1636 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Pacquiao/Mosley Fight Ended Up Being NASCAR's Undercard Last Night
Your morning roundup for May 8, the day we watched the world's terroristic boogeyman watching himself and channel surfing like an Ritalin-addled preteen whose parents won't spring for a DVR....

Detroit Pitcher Justin Verlander Throws Second Career No-Hitter
In today's 9-0 win over the Toronto Blue Jays, Detroit Tigers pitcher Justin Verlander was within one walk of a perfect game. His first career no-hitter came against the Milwaukee Brewers in 2007....

Elon University's Elders Were Apparently None Too Happy About That Whole "Comedic" Video Thing
Something really, really sad happened since the "Welcome to the EU" video by East Infection, Juice Box, and the Bigger Guys made its way from Elon University to Deadspin and back to Elon's administrative and athletic-directing offices. Namely, it seems as if Elon higher-ups were concerned about pot...

We Are All Dave McKenna XCII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until [Daniel] Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets pegged into submission....

Here's Video Of Some White Parking-Lot Rage That Left A Guy Hospitalized
Yesterday, police in Philadelphia released video from last weekend that shows four imbeciles beating someone unconscious and face-bashed near a bunch of clubs that tend to attract gorilla juiceheads willing to beat people unconscious and face-bashed in parking lots....

By The Looks Of Things, The Texas Rangers Mascot Is Hung Like The Palomino Horse It Purports To Be
Your morning roundup for May 7, the first Saturday after the gays seized control of Atlantic City....

These Adorable Kids Are Going To Take Down MLB's Iron-Fisted Video Regime, But We Still Need Your Help
The MLB video war continues, quietly, even though we've kind of been actively ignoring one another for some time now. We received a lot of initial interest in our plan to take down the iron-fisted video regime, but then I guess it rained everywhere in America for two weeks and everyone's practice ...

Alejandro Bedoya Does The Bernie After Scoring A Nice Goal In Sweden
American international Alejandro Bedoya has been bagging goals for his Swedish team Orebro. He's also importing some American low-culture to Scandinavia. Here he is doing The Bernie, which in case you weren't already aware was inspired by the dead guy in "Weekend at Bernie's" and resembles The Dou...

Concussions Will Be Rare In <em>Madden NFL 12</em>, And No One Gets Suspended
Madden NFL 12 will present concussions realistically - as realistically as removing a player from the game, forbidding his return, and delivering commentary that highlights the seriousness of the injury. The game will not include suspensions for players who dole them out. [Kotaku] ...

We Are All Dave McKenna XCI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Daniel Snyder's dumbass libel suit has a chromium-toothed alien erupt from its intestines....

Wild Australian Horse Decides To Run Away From A Steeplechase Course And Over The Crowd
Your morning roundup for May 6, the day Willie Mays becomes an octogenarian....

Dance Show Contestant Hines Ward Sees Nothing Newsworthy About Getting Cuffed At Gunpoint Today
Hines Ward, who guest blogs about Dancing With The Stars for the Los Angeles Times, was driving home from a late dinner through North Hollywood early this morning when he "was briefly detained at gunpoint in a mix-up over a reported stolen car." Seems as if his ladyfriend (or friend who happens to ...

It's Baseball Night At Gelf's Varsity Letters
NYC folks: cancel your gala plans and head to Gelf Magazine's free monthly reading series at the Bergino Baseball Clubhouse at 7:30 tonight. Baseball night features our pal Jonah Keri, along with Harvey Frommer and Lang Whitaker. [Gelf]...

We Are All Dave McKenna XC (Introducing Our Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Fiction)
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Daniel Snyder's dumbass libel suit is dissected in a science class on stupidity. Today, we commence our Dan Snyder group fiction. Read an explanation here, if you haven't alr...

Kathie Lee And Hoda Had Their Own Boob-Grabbing Point-Counterpoint This Morning
The Today ladies have picked up on boob-grabbing. They're calling it a "new trend," and Kathie Lee doesn't like it one bit but Hoda likes it fine as long as it's "your own little secret." KL's bottom line is that the "grabee" must enjoy the "grabber's grab" for a boob grab to be okay, which I'm pr...

Presenting The 18-Minute Video Of Shin-Soo Choo's Failed Roadside Sobriety Test
Your morning roundup for May 5, the day a former vice president wants you to thank "enhanced interrogation" for the current president's visit to Ground Zero....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXXIX
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Daniel Snyder's dumbass libel suit is dumped in the drink so fanatics can't build a shrine to it....

Philly Gave Jayson Werth A Conflicted Standing Ovation Last Night
Jayson Werth, D.C.-area multi-millionaire, had his first at-bat at Citizens Park since the December 2010 deal last night. He was treated to a standing ovation of sorts, one that was one-part mostly-genuine strained clapping and one-part all-out disgusted booing (which quieted, slightly, when he ti...

Hey, There Was A No-Hitter Last Night
Francisco Liriano threw a no-no, and it feels like barely anyone's talking about it. Overshadowed by two sets of playoffs? The fact that it really wasn't a particularly dominant game?...

Rajon Rondo Made Mike Bibby Do A Mental Somersault
So the Celtics got hammered down the stretch last night, and, yes, LeBron James made Rajon Rondo do a somersault that probably had Rondo snuggling up to his heat pack after the game. While everyone understandably shovels dirt on the Celtics' grave, however, consider the ease with which Rondo befud...