hi Page 1638 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Watch Santa Claus Steal A Ball From A Young Fan At Today's A's/Rangers Game Before MLB Takes The Video Down
Tipster R.R. titled this video, "You're an arse if... or... how Santa steals baseballs from kids during his off-season." Early viewers should feel free to comment with vivid descriptions so Craggs and his Crayolas'll have something to work with on the morrow....

Here's Video Of A V8 Supercar Bursting Into Flames
At the V8 Supercars Championships on Barbagallo Raceway near Perth, Australia, Karl Reindler's No. 21 Fair Dinkum Sheds Racing ride stalled and was then hit by Steve Owen's VIP Petfoods car. Then came the remarkable explosion....

Before Returning To Lockout Mode, Every NFL Franchise Decided Against Drafting A Bone-Cancer Survivor
Your morning roundup for May 1, the day after Seth Meyers said Weekend Update stuff to people's faces....

Here's Video Of A Swedish Table-Tennis Battle Featuring The Elusive No-Look Spin-Shot Winner
What you see here, according to the ping-pong aficionados at Sport Post, is "international table tennis player Mattias Oversjo deliver[ing] an incredible no look spin shot against fellow Swede, Jörgen Persson."...

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXXV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until [Daniel] Snyder's dumbass libel suit goes straight to Hell, where it belongs....

Here's Video Of A Very Pretty Goal From Today's Chelsea/Tottenham Hotspur Match
Chelsea and Tottenham Hotspur are currently tied at halftime of a match that, if Tottenham wins, would awaken Chelsea from any delusional dream that they can catch, and surpass, Manchester United to win the EPL this season....

Here's A Cartoon Rendering Of Roger McDowell's Recent Conversation With San Francisco Giants Fans
Noted prankster and Atlanta Braves pitching coach Roger McDowell has been placed on something called "administrative leave" while the team looks into the anti-gay slurs and gestures he publicly offered the other day. This video from ckettering should help the probe....

Young Man Wants You To Realize The Grizzlies Beating The San Antonio Spurs Is A Really Big Deal
Your morning roundup for April 30, the day we deal with Ouzo hangovers from George Kalpaxis and Julie Herrmannsdoerfer's lovely wedding....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXXIV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass front office wastes a second-round pick on Dan Snyder's dumbass libel lawsuit, and then cuts it because it's even worse than Devin Thomas....

MLB Actually Has A Rule About Using Twitter After Being Ejected
Ozzie Guillen was fined and suspended two games for a sort-of-off-the-field incident Wednesday. Soon after being ejected arguing balls and strikes in the first inning, Guillen fired off two Tweets: "This one is going to cost me a lot of money this is patetic." and: "Today a tough guy show up at yank...

Josh Smith Responds To "Crazy Bandwagon Columnist" Who Guaranteed Hawks Would Blow Series Lead
Three days ago, when the Atlanta Hawks were leading the Orlando Magic three games to two in their series, Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel wrote a column that predicted the Hawks would squander the lead and that included the phrase "Call me a crazy bandwagon columnist." So we'll go ahead and c...

Rick Ross Will Escort Manny Pacquiao For Mosley Fight
Today in delightful cultural crossover: über-icon Manny Pacquiao will join forces with über-icon-in-his-own-mind Rick Ross before he fights über-39-year-old Sugar "Shane" Mosley, who is but a pawn in this sick, sick game, next Saturday....

Paul Shirley And The Fat Woman Get Political
You remember Paul Shirley. We once described him as a "onetime baller, sometime music critic and all-around man of letters." At the time we were discussing his controversial freelance piece on post-earthquake Haiti, and certain points like asking them to "use a condom once in a while."...

Year Of The Pitcher Dies Premature Death, Aged 29 Days
What some were already calling the second straight "Year of the Pitcher" in baseball came to an abrupt end yesterday, as bats exploded into craziness around MLB....

Maple Leafs' Swedish Goalie Prospect Is A Terrible Rapper
Toronto signed Mark "In Da Park" Owuya, a 21-year-old goalie prospect from Sweden, to an entry-level contract on Thursday. Last season, Da Park had a 2.18 goals-against average and a .927 save percentage in goal for Djurgarden, of the Swedish Elite League....

Soccer Team Signs One-Year-Old After Audition Goes Viral
Maybe you're one of the three-plus million folks who saw Baerke van der Meij putting away his toys with some well-placed boots. Adorable, right? Dutch Eredivise side VVV saw it too, and saw a future strike....

The Bears Forgot To Report Their Draft-Day Trade, So It Never Went Through
Not a huge fuckup, as far as draft-day fuckups go, not like a Christian Ponder-level fuckup, but a fuckup nonetheless. When time ran out on Baltimore's 26th round pick, and the Chiefs leapfrogged them in the order, everyone assumed it was the Ravens that dropped the ball. But no, it was Jerry Angelo...

More Baseball Fans Care About Andre Ethier's Bowels Than Chipper Jones's Switch-Hitting Prowess
In tipster Zachary P.'s estimation, the difference between Andre Ethier's hit streak and Andre Ethier' shit streak is minimal. It is....

How an Imperfect Player Became the Perfect <em>Madden</em> Cover Pick
He's the first Madden cover star from a losing team. The first with no Pro Bowl appearances at the time of his selection. He led NFL running backs in one statistical category last year - fumbles.… [Kotaku] ...

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXXIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit realizes it has less balls than a castrato....