hi Page 1640 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Dan Snyder Explains Why He's Being A Prick
Dan Snyder explains himself and his newly refiled lawsuit this morning over at Fred Hiatt's bullshit emporium. The piece contains all the spoon-banging you've come to expect from Snyder — "I am not thin-skinned" is probably the most ridiculous assertion on that op-ed page since whatever George Will ...

Tony Allen Shaved A Glittery Grizzly Into His Hair Last Night
For a brief time yesterday, Memphis guard Tony Allen had this haircut, featuring a barber's rendition of the Grizzlies mascot and highlighted by the staples of any middle school girl's make-up routine: glitter and white eyeliner. Allen trimmed it before the game started (he had 12 points in the win)...

Caps Fans Skip Parody Videos, Move Straight To Priceless Masterpieces
Your morning roundup for April 26, the day we called a truce with the jellyfish kingdom....

Dumbest Fish Alive Deserve To Be Dead
This is four-and-a-half minutes of silver carp leaping, unprovoked, into a boat. It serves as a fascinating video treatise on natural selection, and possible sport fishing....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXX
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan "Daniel" Snyder's dumbass libel suit goes to that great tort docket in the sky....

Jim Tressel Is The Perfect Coach
I used to think Jim Tressel was scum. Covering up his players' transgressions, hiding them from his school and NCAA. But I've been reading over the allegations, just doing some sittin', and some thinkin', and I'm man enough to admit I was wrong. Jim Tressel is the ideal coach for a big-time program ...

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXIX
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until [Daniel] Snyder's dumbass libel suit makes like an ant under a very patient child's magnifying glass on a 110-degree day with a cloudless sky....

RichRod Doesn't Think Jumping From West Virginia To Michigan Was That Good Of An Idea, After All
CBS Sports sat down with unemployed winner Rich Rodriguez on Friday. They asked whether he had "any regrets in hindsight jumping from West Virginia to Michigan"? Then, they allowed RichRod to retort:...

Marriage License: Chris Bosh Is Officially Spoken For. Chris Bosh: No I'm Not.
Your morning roundup for April 24, a day Gabrielle Giffords continues struggling to recover, but recovering she is....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXVIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit contracts comes down with a debilitating case of necrotizing fasciitis without access doctors and/or antibiotics....

Dolphins WR Brandon Marshall's Wife Allegedly Stabs Him, But He Claims He Fell Onto A Broken Glass Vase
As referenced earlier, Dolphins WR Brandon Marshall is in an intensive care unit, where he's recovering from a stab wound to the stomach. Per the Miami Herald, his blushing new bride Michi Nogami-Marshall was arrested last night on charges of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon in a domestic di...

Here's The Scene That Awaited The Orlando Magic's Jason Richardson After Last Night's Pimp-Slap Ejection
Your morning roundup for April 23, the day we hear about how a Tennessee woman's heart stopped beating for five minutes as a Lady Gaga tribute....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXVII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until [Daniel] Snyder's dumbass libel suit leaves Brown because of incessant teasing....

Naked Man Invades Home, Steals Prized Kansas Basketball Outfit For Cover
Donald Watson of Springfield, Mo. was charged yesterday for invading a home while naked. While he was there, he donned a former tenant's beloved Kansas basketball outfit and then took off on a police chase; he was ultimately taken into custody after "a run-in with a police dog."...

Juan Agudelo Scored A Special Goal Against DC United Last Night
It's weird to see an American striker do this. We're so used to our forwards scoring as a function of being in the right place at the right time. Agudelo scored last night despite bad service and good marking. He created this goal out of nothing. No more Jozy Altidore comparisons, please....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXVI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until [Daniel] Snyder's dumbass libel suit somehow wakes Dante up from his eternal slumber and creates a 10th circle of Hell solely for dumbass libel suits of this nature to share ...

There's No Good Time To Call A Hockey Player "Hitler," But On Hitler's Birthday Is Especially Poor Timing
Versus announcer Brian Engblom, his mind perhaps on the NBCU re-branding, had an unfortunately slip of the tongue last night, calling Detroit's Jiri Hudler "Hitler." An innocent mistake: Hudler's Sudetenlander name doesn't quite roll off the tongue....

Bill Plaschke Is Easily Distracted
Because every stupid thing in sports requires one to take sides, we're torn on this one. Do we agree with the guy who willingly puts his life on display on an E! reality show, then says it's not fair to talk about his personal life? Or do we agree with — gulp — Bill Plaschke? You can see our dilemma...

HOLY SHIT MONSTER JELLYFISH
That's the lion's mane jellyfish, which lives in the ocean and can apparently devour cities whole. I had no fucking idea this existed. COMPLETELY CHANGES THE GAME. I'm never going in the ocean again. Ever. I'm afraid to even take a goddamn bath now, lest this thing ooze out of the pipes and eats my ...
