hi Page 1645 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

"Wannabe Hooligans" Brawled In The Stands At A Philadelphia Union Match
A soccer-loving pal of mine who wishes to remain nameless emailed this morning about "a huge brawl in the Sons of Ben section" at last night's Philadelphia Union/Colorado Rapids match. The Sons of Ben to which he referred is the name of a group of hardcore Union supporters; they march in en masse ...

Here's One Surefire Way To Ensure Your Franchise's 51st Year Since A Championship Will Not Be A Charm
"The Dream Team." The Dream Team?! Not even a week into an abbreviated camp. With your best receiver holding out. Yep....

The Long-Anticipated Furbush-For-Fister Deal Has Been Consummated
In MLB trade-deadline eve news, the Detroit Tigers get a right-handed workhorse Fister (first name Doug) from Seattle in return for a Furbush (Charlie) to plant in its bullpen and use when needed....

Here's Video Of Some Unisex Fighting At Last Night's Mets-Nationals Game
The 15th second of this video is key. That's when a big dude's elbow sends a lady reeling....

Chris Kluwe Conditionally Surrenders No. 5 To New Vikings QB Donovan McNabb
Your morning roundup for July 30, the day we're provided with living proof that 32-year-old women are, in fact, into 83-year-old men. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Friday Afternoon Fun With Asian People, With Special Guest Stars Neymar And Chien-Ming Wang
Set to jolly CONMEBOL rhythms, this is a local TV spot on Brazilian team Santos' new ad hyping their Club World Cup trip to Japan. Yep, those are Santos players making the slant-eyed gesture. We'd expect this kind of thing from one half of the Treaty of Tordesillas, but not both....

When Tom Met Chad: Love Blossoms At The Patriots Camp
Tom Brady met his new wide receiver today. ...

FC Barcelona Attempts To Train On National Mall, Gets Smacked Down By Surly Park Police Officer
There was a time when rowdy pick-up soccer games took place on the Ellipse in front of the White House, when a powerful leg could damn near reach the Rose Garden. No longer. The pigs cracked down after 9/11, when it was decreed that foreign commie sports enjoyed by minorities were not to be played...

Chris And Carmelo's Excellent Chinese Adventure Continues With Interpretive Masked Opera Dance
Chris Paul, Carmelo Anthony and Dwyane Wade are all on board for this year's week-long Jordan Brand Flight Tour in China, during which the players will "introduce China specific editions of [Nike's] signature products that takes inspiration from the Chinese culture as well as the athlete's style o...

It's Not The Heat, It's The Humididong
Mitch Butler and Josh Landis couldn't even get through a simple 2:05 CBS Early Show segment exploring the nuances of humidity without slapping a big old phallic symbol up on the screen, and one with a rapidly increasing temperature, no less....

Jockey Fetishists Will Be Pleased To Hear That This Year's "Beefcake" Calendar Only Costs $13.99
It's not very often that a newspaper article reads like erotic fan fiction. So, congratulations to Times Union staff writer Jennifer Gish for wading into this story about shirtless jockeys with such oomph....

So Long Ochocinco, And Thanks For The Sombrero
While Chad Ochocinco was thanking God for sending him to New England (or more likely just getting him out of Cincinnati), his now ex-teammate Pacman Jones was helping himself to the contents of Ochocinco's locker. That included modeling the sombrero Chad once pulled out on the field and offering up ...

This Evening: Hideki Irabu Highlights Are In High Demand
Your p.m. roundup for July 28, the day we learned only losers live in Brooklyn. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

A Ball From Josh Beckett Touches This Child Like Nothing Else Can
Baseballs are the most important thing on earth. It's time we stopped pretending they aren't....

Hideki Irabu, Dead At 42
Irabu was found dead at his home in Los Angeles, and police are investigating it as a suicide. He last pitched in MLB for the Rangers in 2002, and most recently with an independent league team in 2009. [Asahi Shumbun]...

A Poem For Albert Haynesworth, Composed Solely Of Media Descriptions
Awful Albert, Abysmal Albert: Attitude-afflicted wash-up. Massive and huge and fat and lazy and difficult....

Tiger Woods's Backyard Practice Facility Is Nicer Than Most Golf Courses
We should not lose any sleep over Tiger's latest setbacks. He could be done for the 2011 season, and he's going through the second difficult break-up of his young life, but he is still terribly wealthy and preparing to move into a Jupiter Island, Fla. estate that is reportedly worth $54.5 million....

Unconscionable Neymar Goal Highlights A Very Brazilian Night Of Soccer
We grab your attention with this, Neymar's first of two scores on the night, a one-of-a-kind run through the Flamengo defense. But we really wanted to highlight the entirety of one of the more thrilling games in recent memory. (If you've got 90 minutes to kill, the whole match is on YouTube)....

Watch A Linesman Fall During The MLS All-Star Game
Linesman tries to get out of the way of a soccer ball. Linesman flies to the ground in dramatic fashion. Could've been worse. Linesman could've been an All-Star team that lost 4-0 to a foreign squad playing a preseason game....

Presenting The Ex-Future Mrs. Jay Cutler
As opposed to the future ex-Mrs. Cutler, who is whichever C-lister the Bears QB will glom on to next in his never-ending quest to be a star (just playing football's not cutting it)....