hi Page 1659 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

"God Has A Plan For Us And We Will Be Fine. We Will Be Buckeyes Forever."
So ended Jim Tressel's resignation letter to Ohio State president Gordon Gee, sans exclamation points or "Go Bucks." This would appear to be his Rapture, whatever God's plans were....

Watch Wrigley Field Get Buzzed By An Unexpected F/A-18 Flyover
Well, okay, Cubs fans, you can either find some meaning in seeing fighter jets on a holiday remembering American soldiers, or you can be scared that Chicago somehow became the setting of a Will Smith movie come to life. Your choice....

Tony Romo Had A Beautiful Wedding, Even Though He Invited Wade Phillips
Here's a photo of the happy couple. Read ESPN Dallas's report:...

Former Cavalier/Wizard Larry Hughes May Have Pumped Your Gas Yesterday
And no, it's not because he shot .355 from the field in the '09-'10 season, during which he was dumped by the Knicks, Kings, and Bobcats. He made $84 million in his career, silly!...

Buckeye Nation Has Some Nasty Words For Former WR And Newspaper Source Ray Small
Small, who played for OSU from 2006-2010, gave a long interview to OSU's student paper last week, in which he said, among other things, that he sold all his Big Ten championship rings and got some exquisite deals from local car dealerships. "I don't see why it's a big deal," he said....

Ozzie Guillen Just Might Have Lost It
Because when you're waxing lyrical about desecrated statutes of a team that started not only A.J. Pierzynski but Scott Podsednik and Carl Everett, you might just be off your rocker....

Ding, Dong, The Vest Is Dead: Jim Tressel Resigns
Stay tuned. There'll be more to this, we imagine. There's a reason he quit in the early morning on Take Out the Trash Day. Even if he was fighting back tears....

Nuggets' J.R. Smith Arrested For Illegal Scootering, Proving That He Is Fresher Than You
But we still don't have all the details. Was it a Razor? A Segway? A Jazzy? And did Medicare pay for it? We may never know....

Being Captain Of The Saint John Sea Dogs Does Not Entitle You To Spit In Memorial Cup, But Watch This Guy Do It Anyway (UPDATE: ?)
Your morning roundup for May 30, Memorial Day, the day we learned the Groupon Voice. Video via tipster Brent, who writes (with a French BlackBerry signature appended!), "Watch beardo spit into the Memorial Cup. His teammates will be drinking out of it. Fucking gross."...

Watch JR Hildebrand Lose The Indy 500 By Crashing On The Final Turn
The history book will show that Dan Wheldon won the 100th Indianapolis 500. The replay shows that he didn't so much win it as rookie JR Hildebrand lost it in ridiculously tire-breaking fashion....

Here's A Photo Of The Seattle Mariners Streaker In The Loving Grasp Of Three Committed Security Guards
On a night when Chone Figgins lowered the price of Widmer beer at one Seattle bar to $1.97 (0-5 in the Mariners win over the Yankees), a streaker was the third of four fans to run on the field. He apparently took a shine to Derek Jeter in the eighth inning but the shortstop declined his advances. F...

FC Barcelona Proved They Were The Best Team In All Of Professional Sports Yesterday
Your morning roundup for May 29, the day Roger Ebert inexplicably gave two thumbs down to those who blatantly allowed two eyes to check out two foreign boobs....

Here's Video Of Lionel Messi's UEFA-Championship Winning Goal For FC Barcelona
Final score: Barcelona 3, Manchester United 1. In retrospect, the game ended the moment Lionel Messi seized the Best Player In The World chatter and made it reality....

Hockey Player Misses Five Minutes Of Game Time With Broken Face, Returns In Time For Season-Losing Goal
Your morning roundup for May 29, the day after death told the world that the puffy-faced Grandma Bandit was actually a man....

This Memorial Day Weekend, Don't Forget To Prepare For The Penis Inspector
As far as we know, this isn't real. Carlmont High (Calif.) students don't have to "ensure that their penises are clean and orderly," nor do they have to procure a friend's pubes if they have trimmed their own. It's a senior prank, and a well-executed one at that....

The Heat Wax The East, And Deep Down We Love It
Last night, the Miami Heat ended the Eastern Conference Finals with a 19-4 run in under four minutes to beat the Chicago Bulls in five games. If you were fortunate or unfortunate enough — I haven't decided which it is for me — to have watched the entire game, then you would have witnessed equal part...

The Greatest Baseball Highlight Ever Happened 20 Years Ago Tonight
The video's been played and replayed so many times, it almost no longer matters who and where and how. It's a dude running through a fence....

Mets Manager Just As Dumb As Mets Owners, Carlos Beltran Is His Whore
Any of you know what the hell this means? Backward, defeatist: these are your New York Mets, with their fearless skipper leading the charge....

Joakim Noah Taps Into America's Rage By Calling The Heat "Hollywood As Hell"
Joakim Noah, who sat on the bench for much of the second half as Kurt Thomas tried to be the hero, pulled off the delicate skill of framing an absolute dis within a compliment last night. Kenny, Chuck, and Ernie are almost always this tickled with the world, but with this giggly reaction I get the...

Here's Video Of Carlos Boozer's Hard Foul On LeBron James
Sure, this is a midair mugging. Even an impartial viewer would have to conclude LeBron asked for it, though....