hi Page 1673 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Mets Games Plastered With Commercials From This Charming Bankruptcy Lawyer
Everything about this commercial is just so Wilpon-era Mets: Attorney Pankin's accent, his super-starchy collar, his gait, forced as though Tsuyoshi Shinjo's lucky bat is wedged up his ass. And of course the graphics are old, schmaltzy—the only surprise is that they don't evoke the glory days of t...

Venus Serena Williams Returns To The Court In Fabulous Pink Catwoman Outfit
When one comes back from injury, one should do it in style. Maybe Venus Serena will wear the mask part of this ensemble for her French Open warmup tournament in Brussels next month. Please. Photo via Serenawilliams twitter....

This Celtics Lowlight Is The Most B-Team Clip Ever
See Von Wafer swoop down the lane. See Von Wafer miss on a wide-open dunk. See Von Wafer believe that he has made the dunk. See Von Wafer face the crowd in celebration. See Von Wafer turn and collide with his teammate, who has collected his offensive board. See Von Wafer make his teammate, Jermain...

We Are All Dave McKenna LXVII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Daniel Snyder's dumbass libel suit is decomposing in the bog....

This Is The Saddest Image To Come Out Of The Sad WNBA Draft
The 2011 WNBA draft, held at 3 p.m. on a Monday, is now wrapping up. No shockers here: the Minnesota Lynx selected UConn's Maya Moore (projected during the draft to be the league MVP) with the first pick, 6'8" Australian Elizabeth Cambage was second overall and will play for Tulsa, and Courtney Vand...

Craigslist's Going Rate For A Misspelled Larry Johnson Chiefs Jersey Is $30
"Offered is the pictured Larry Johnson Kansas City Chiefs jersey by Reebok NFL Equipment." I hpoe he tkaes PyaPla. [Craigslist Raleigh, h/t Brant]...

<em>Wall Street Journal</em> Photoshops Signs Of Phillies Fans, Misapprehends Minds Of Phillies Fans
Well, this is embarrassing. The Wall Street Journal ran a story last Thursday about how Phillies fans have mellowed on the Mets. The article was a re-write of a story that appeared two days earlier in the The Philadelphia Inquirer. Fair enough. Perhaps Philadelphians behave like that now, although a...

We Are All Dave McKenna LXVI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets absolved of its need to have even existed in the first place. Today's topic: The cross-sport implications of Snyder's insolence....

NHL Playoff Blood Flows Red On The Regular-Season Rink
Thanks to tipster Noah D. for sending in this shot of Johan Franzen of the Detroit Red Wings after he'd been face-cut by Blackhawk Duncan Keith's stick in today's regular-season finale....

Take 27 Seconds To Watch Ty Lawson's 10 Consecutive Three-Pointers For Denver Last Night
Denver Nuggets guard Ty Lawson hit his first 10 three-pointers in last night's 130-106 win over the Minnesota Timberwolves. That's an NBA first. Yet, Lawson missed his 11th. Choker. Afterward, Lawson said it wasn't his Best Shooting Day Ever....

Watch An Unheralded Japanese Boxer Drop His Foe Three Times In The First Round
Just prior to last night's light-middleweight bout between the "exciting, unbeaten and seemingly unstoppable" James "Mandingo Warrior" Kirkland and Japanese boxer Nobuhiro Ishida, promoter Lou DiBella Tweeted "YOU'RE KIDDING,RIGHT?" when asked who he liked to win. As in, c'mon, Kirkland....

A Bunch Of Guys Who Dyed Their Hair Blondish Won The NCAA Hockey Championship Last Night
Your morning roundup for April 10, the day a Virginia elementary school principal assures you the fourth-grade teacher didn't really put black and mixed-race students up for sale....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until some really bad, unspeakable things befall Snyder's dumbass libel suit. Today's topic: The draft....

Even The Top Seed In The Playoffs Isn't Good Enough For This Expressive Bulls Fan
Your morning roundup for April 9, the day it became painfully evident that knowledge gleaned from the Old Testament and YouTube videos do not a professional at-home circumcisionist make....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXIV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets its teeth rapped in with a wrench....

"Got Rings?" T-Shirt Reminds Knicks Fans That Their Team Has Been Bad For Almost 40 Years
Yes, the Knicks have rings, this T-shirt declares. Two of them. From 1970 and 1973. And yes, the NBA store is charging its fans $20 to be reminded of the fact that they've hardly come close since. Available for purchase in orange or blue, shipping and shame not included. Via Bob's Blitz....

Brazilian Striker Neymar Does A Nice Bit Of Skill And Finishes With A Pass
Apart from the fact that The Spoiler has yet to spell his name correctly at the first time of asking (it's Neymar, not Naymer, you idiot), we're growing rather fond of the young Brazilian....

Ryan Braun Did Not Actually Suggest Prince Fielder Is A Threat To Your Bag Of Potato Chips
Our friends at Talking Chop spotted something strange during the Brewers-Braves broadcast Thursday afternoon....

Derrick Rose Floats One Off The Glass, And The Bulls Take The East
Last night, the Chicago Bulls defeated the Celtics by 16 points, 97-81. In doing so, they effectively clinched the top seed in the Eastern Conference for the first time since the 1997-98 season — Chicago would have to lose the remainder of its games and the HeatCeltics would have to win the rest o...

Mystery Solved: Courtside Guy At Bulls Games Is Matt Pritzker, And He Is Very, Very Rich
I-Team, you may stand down. So many of you have written in to solve today's mystery about the young fellow who sits courtside at Chicago Bulls games....