hi Page 1699 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Weekend Winner: Media Members In Better Shape Than Albert Haynesworth
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like various DC-area media members, who took a shot at completing the Redskins' conditioning test that the disgruntled Haynesworth has been unable to pass....

Does Kim Kardashian Know About This?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

How Tampa Bay Shenanigans Affected the Trade Deadline
Oh, those pesky Hickeys. Seems as if Tampa Bay pitching coach Jim Hickey was involved in some horseplay — specifically, "wrestling, in a way" — which landed pitcher Grant Balfour on the 4-to-6-week shelf with a left rib strain....

Tyreke Evans Feels, Exploits the Need for Speed
Ignore the timeline: Coach K's refusal to allow Tyreke Evans to represent his country in the FIBA World Championships (July 28) is directly to blame for the Rookie of the Year's 120-plus mph Cali Cannonball Run (May 31)....

Deadspin Classic: Cats Playing Soccer? Cats Playing Soccer
In the summer of 2010, the World Cup captured the attention of this humble sports blog and it was only a matter of time before the Internet produced the perfect viral video to celebrate the event....

Strasburg Usurper Manages To Offend Beauty Queen
Miguel Batista managed to offend hundreds of Washington D.C. baseball game attendees Tuesday when he had the gall to make a spot start in place of D.C.'s Lord and Savior, the very much injured Stephen Strasburg. Then he went and dissed Iowa....

Steve Sarkisian Taunts Lane Kiffin With Cellphone Picture
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: everyone's favorite embattled college football coach: Lane Kiffin....

Julio Mora: 22-Star Recruit
So, glitch on Rivals.com, or is Julio Mora the football-playing reincarnation of Shiva himself? [EDSBS]...

Father Of The Year Makes Daughter Pose With Barracuda That Ripped Her Flesh Open
This happy fellow is Rob Parker, with a 42-inch long barracuda that he caught. This traumatized girl is his 14-year-old daughter, who was the bait. He made sure to get this photo before they went to the hospital. (Bloody, NSFW-ish photo inside.)...

Is Bryce Harper's Facebook Page Real?
The Washington Post asks the same question, but Harper's page appears to be so good it has to be a parody. Whoever it is, they sure love putting exclamation points and various : ) emoticons in their updates. Maybe he's a 13-year-old girl?...

Raul Ibanez's Hitting Makes Another Philly Fan Cry
But this time it's tears of joy for a girl who caught his home run ball, not tears of "we're paying him how much next year?"...

Attention Nationals Fans: You Don't Deserve Stephen Strasburg (Disappointed Newlywed Update)
I don't mean that in some kind of larger, cosmic sense. I just mean that if you came out to the ballpark Tuesday, expecting to see Strasburg pitch, the team doesn't owe you anything after scratching him from his start....

The LeBron Jersey Guy From The Indians Game Speaks!
Matt Bellamy, who riled up an entire city, says he'd move to Florida too if he could find a way. But the siren song of Sandusky is too strong! [Cleveland Frowns]...

ESPN Anchor Commits Gaffe. Oh, And He Calls Citi Field "Shitty Field," Too.
Following a look-in to whatever it is that A-Rod was doing, Anish Shroff flubbed sending it back to the announcers at the Mets game, saying, "Let's get you back out to Shitty Field as the Mets threaten [sic] the 8th." How embarrassing!...

Sen. Jim Bunning, R-Pluto, Thinks Stephen Strasburg Is A Wuss
Bunning, onetime pitcher and current obstreperous shitbag, waggled his cane yesterday at young Strasburg: "Five-hundred twenty starts, I never refused the ball. What a joke!" Then he clutched his shoulder and cried, "My arm!" That was either sarcasm or thrombosis. [Politico, via]...

This Is Outstanding, Again
DJ Steve Porter is back with "Press Hop 2," mashing up the greatest press conference moments, dropping a beat, and throwing in a little autotune for good measure. Never change, egotistical sports figures....

Sir, You Cannot Wear That LeBron Jersey In Cleveland Unless You Go Through The Proper Editorial Process
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Some MMA Guy
Welcome back to Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater, the occasional feature in which athlete highlights are synced to somewhat inappropriate music. Today, a twist: "highlights" of MMA fighter and loudmouth Chael Sonnen tapping out, set to the propulsive "Hate Me Now" by Nas....

Last Night's Winner: Cum Husks?
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the wholly baffling sign at last night's Phillies game, which has the Internet abuzz with speculation....

Fan Vomits At Phillies Game: The Sequel
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....