hi Page 1705 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Lionel Messi Scores Another Rather Nice Goal
Just once, it'd be nice to see little Lionel Messi score a clumsy goal. Perhaps he could charge down a goal kick with his groin and miss it going into the net because he's too busy shouting sweet Jesus to the heavens....

Wilbon Leaving The Newspaper You'd Forgotten He Still Worked For
Mike Wilbon is leaving the Washington Post to devote more time to being a faintly tolerable presence on ESPN. The newspaper's memo is below....

Here's What Some Are Calling Cricket's Catch Of The Year
England's Monty Panesar, a notably terribly fielder, made an excellent snag. Snazzy, yes, but would it even make Web Gems?...

Dan Snyder Makes Grandmothers Cry, And That's Just The Beginning Of It
Dave McKenna of the Washington City Paper has compiled an A-Z guide of all the things that make Redskins owner Dan Snyder awful. U is for "Unobstructed View: What Snyder wanted of the Potomac River from the back of his Montgomery County home."...

Cranky Old Man Chides Everyone For Enjoying YouTube Clip
Frank Deford on that whimsical middle school trick play: "It wasn't genius at all; rather, it was a form of child abuse."...

The Media Pearl-Clutching Over Kobe Bryant's <em>Call Of Duty</em> Commercial Has Begun
This is the commercial. This is Tim Keown's ESPN.com column, which is straight out of the Cokie Roberts "Oh noes! Blowjobs!" school of punditry. WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN BEING USED FOR RHETORICAL EFFECT BY ANOTHER COLUMNIST GROUCHING ABOUT POP CULTURE?...

How To Identify Satanic Sacrifice: A Helpful, Creepy Police Training Video
This old police training video teaches up-and-coming detectives how to look for signs that their murder victim has been sacrificed to Satan. One such clue: often "a penis is placed inside the mouth of the deceased person." Good to know. [Metal Insider]...

Remember, Michael Vick Was On <em>Pros Vs. Joes</em> Just Eight Months Ago
Last March, Mike Vick's option was picked up by the Philadelphia Eagles. Since the Birds still had Donovan McNabb and Kevin Kolb on the roster, the move was a puzzling one that appeared to be less a real commitment to a backup Wildcat specialist than a nice gesture by an organization seeking a littl...

Thunderous Dunk Uses Opponent's Chest As A Springboard
Best we can tell, this is from the third level of the German pro basketball system, and that's University of Dayton grad Marcus Johnson going all Tom Chambers on some poor schmo. All 35 fans were thrilled....

Sneakers From Heaven
Writes Marc: "A while back i noticed someone threw some old school Air Jordans up on the telephone/power lines across the street... today...I saw this out my window...word. I wonder if he's going to the outdoor courts at the park now to hoop it up."...

Who Wants To Watch A Bunch Of Trick Plays?
Complex has a gallery of the top 50 trick plays in football history, or at least in that part of football history currently available on YouTube. There are some familiar ones, and there are others, like this one, you may have missed....

Melee Breaks Out In MMA Ring, Ref Gets Knocked Out
Grachan 5 was like a lot of MMA events in the way that I suspect this sort of thing happens at every MMA event. Watch as Takeo Shiina introduces Jung Hyun Lee and an unsuspecting referee to his vengeance....

You Tell Us: Who Are The Worst Players In NFL History?
Now that you've read Jeff Pearlman's two-parter on the NFL's worst players, head on over to #theworstever and share your own thoughts, lists, Rashaan Salaam memories, etc....

The Bottom 100: The Worst Players In NFL History (Part 2)
You’ve seen Part 1. Read on for the rest of the worst. Share your own list at #theworstever....

The Bottom 100: The Worst Players In NFL History (Part 1)
The NFL Network recently compiled a list of the 100 best players in NFL history, as selected by a blue-ribbon panel. This is not that list. Part 1 is below. Part 2 is here. Share your own list at #theworstever....

Drunk Chicagoan Scales Dinosaur After Bears Win
Well, maybe he's not drunk, just living out the fantasies we all had as five-year-olds. I'm sure the Field Museum loves being smack dab between Soldier Field and the regional rail station....

They Could Take Harvey Westmoreland's Beard But The Court Didn't Take Their Freedom
Remember good old Harvey Westmoreland, the Kentucky guy who lost his beard in a spat with friends over the price of a used riding mower? (Here are the details of the whole sordid Southern Style mess.)...

Last Night's Winner: Michael Vick, Obviously
That was just a spanking, wasn't it? And if you don't think Andy Reid and Marty Mornhinweg purposefully drew up a game plan that could have been codenamed "Our QB Is Better," then you must not have been paying attention....

MNF: Young, Underpaid Quarterback Is So Far Outperforming Older, Overpaid Quarterback
At the start of the second half in the capital, the Eagles are up 45-14. Here's your belated open thread....

Is This Pee-Wee Team Running A Fumblerooski Or Just Bad At Football?
The Southaven, Miss., Broncos were leading 25-0 and well on their way to winning a recent game when they lined up for the extra point. What happened next might have been poor sportsmanship or a broken play....