hi Page 1711 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The New Tim Lincecum Cartoon Will Give You A Contact High
Another day, another baffling sports figure TV show appearance. Today we have the inaugural episode of Timmy & Bus, a cartoon that is for children in the way that all unicorn-vehicular-manslaughter cartoons are for children. [Tauntr]...
Mississippi State Recruit Bodyslams Math Teacher Onto Unemployment Line
Click to view Here's video of Jamerson Love, a cornerback for Aberdeen High School, wrestling now-former algebra teacher Shobul Johnson. Allegedly, Johnson asked his students to "black out the windows" and "move the furniture" before commencing to rumble. Then he got his asymptote kicked. [Rivals]...
Hideki Irabu Resurfaces With A DUI
Raise your hand if you knew Irabu was living in Los Angeles, let alone still alive. Well, he's living it up, getting busted on suspicion of drunken driving last week. [KTLA]...
Fat-Ass Baseball Players Get Their Roger Bannister Moment
Per Wezen-Ball's wonderful Tater Trot Tracker, David Ortiz rounded the bases after yesterday's solo shot in 30.59 seconds, a new record by nearly eight-tenths of a second. Yes, mankind has at last shattered the 30-second barrier. [Wezen-Ball]...
Flyers Fan Thinks Live TV Is "F^@*ing Amazing"
Hey, you put a drunk Phillyite on live television, moments after their team wins the Eastern Conference Finals, and you're basically begging for an f-bomb. You simply cannot take hockey fans anywhere. [Crossing Broad]...
Flyers Inspiring Playoff Run Makes Area Blogger Look Bad
The Flyers—who had to beat the Rangers on the final day to get into the playoffs, remember—are in their first Stanley Cup Final since 1997. Good thing I optioned that inspiring sports movie idea. [Photo: AP]...
Nolan Ryan Buys Texas Rangers (Who Still Owe A-Rod Money, By The Way)
The Texas Rangers declared bankruptcy today, which was merely a procedural matter on the road to a $575 million sale to team president/good 'ol boy Nolan Ryan and his group of investors. First step? Pay off some really lousy contracts....
Pi Beta Phi: The Party-Menace Sorority Of The Midwest
Ohio University's branch of Pi Beta Phi held a winter formal and, just like their sisters at Miami University (of Ohio), they abandoned all forms of lady-likeness and terrorized the place where it was held. The Smoking Gun has the gory rundown....
Watch Randy Foye's Mystifying Canadian TV Debut
Washington Wizard Randy Foye performed some small screen magic by appearing in an episode of the Canadian TV show Wingin' It. What Randy Foye has to do with Canadian tweens and angels is beyond me. And probably Randy Foye, too. [via FreeDarko]...
Weekend Winner: The Chicago Blackhawks' Bandwagon
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the newest fans of the Stanley Cup finals-bound Blackhawks. They must feel really good about dropping $150 on that Patrick Kane jersey in the UC giftshop....
Sand Controversy Threatens To Underwhelm Eastern Conference Finals
Something — be it sand, grit, or poisonous acid worms — was spilled in the hallway outside the visitor's locker room at the Bell Centre yesterday. The Flyers aren't crying sabotage; but we will!...
Juan Rivera Goes 1-For-4, Falls Into Temporal Wormhole
Here's a mind-melting Juan Rivera infinite regress from Tuesday's Angels-Rangers game. [Screengrab via reader Josh; video at MLB.com]...
Basebrawl Season Is In Full Swing
Thursday's Angels-White Sox game at U.S. Cellular Field featured two things you often see on the South Side these days: a White Sox loss, and a bunch of White Sox fans beating the shit out of each other. H/T BullFightsOnAcid...
And Suddenly, The Blackhawks Aren't So Likable
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Today, In Sentences That Makes Less Sense Each Time You Read Them
"Anna Lovato took a ride on the mechanical penis, met Miami Heat basketball star Michael Beasley; and joined Natasha Marley for a ride on the sexy see-saw with dildo." [Rising Star PR]...
And On The Eighth Day, God Ejected Lasorda
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Just Because: Video Of Justin Bieber Walking Into A Glass Door
I would ask how seeing this makes you feel, however, I'm guessing there are not a lot of 14-year-old girls reading this website right now, so I think I have my answer. [YouTube]...
Genius Philly Fan Posts The License Plate He Stole From Montreal Writer Online
Everyone knows that all crimes committed immediately following a significant hockey victory cannot be prosecuted under the law, but that rule has always assumed that the suspects aren't complete blockheads who don't know how to keep their mouth shut....
Jet Skis, Assault Weapons, And Party Girls: The Mikhail Prokhorov Supermix
Newly minted Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov is America's new favorite Russian oligarch. In the wake of all his recent, reliably preposterous media appearances, we've decided to put together a mix. Please enjoy. [Footage via Nets.com, CBSnews.com, YESNetwork.com; tunes via]...
Chris Berman Walk O' Fame Update
Wednesday, grumpy artisans were installing Chris Berman's big, bright, shining star on the Hollywood Walk o' Fame. Future pilgrims should be happy to know it's steps from Hollywood Cabaret and about 1.5 miles from the nearest leather shop. [Farther Off The Wall]...